Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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How do you get them out?

Tostitos

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Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

why couldn't helen keller drive?

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

[ QUOTE ]
why couldn't helen keller drive?

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I think this might be one of my all-time favorite jokes...

<font color="white">'Cuz she's a woman. </font>

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
why couldn't helen keller drive?

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I think this might be one of my all-time favorite jokes...

<font color="white">'Cuz she's a woman. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah it's pretty damn funny. i laughed for a while the first time i heard it.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

Have you guys heard the joke about the skunk and the jump rope?

ahh skip it, it stinks anyways.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

Ive been trying to get a standup routine written, and I know there is a joke in this somewhere, and that is a stupid one, but I cant figure out how to make it funny.

You just need to establish the opportunity to use the bit. Try this:

"So, open-mic night, you know. Pretty crazy in here. You guys having a good time? Yeah. It's good. Last time I was up here was, uh, 1992, but I think the act is finally coming together.

Let's see. Election coming up, huh? You guys following this whole Gennifer Flowers thing? I think those petals been plucked. Arkansas is "The Natural State", but I doubt her carpets match her drapes.

No, don't get me wrong, I think Bill Clinton's got a real shot. He's looking for a slogan to punch up his campaign, something better than "that guy from Arkansas." So: "No new taxes, and no fat chicks". Hey, you too lady.

Anyhow, you know what makes me go Hmmm? In Mexico, C&amp;C music factor is like yes and yes music factory, cause their word for yes is pretty much our third letter of the alphabet. This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ive been trying to get a standup routine written, and I know there is a joke in this somewhere, and that is a stupid one, but I cant figure out how to make it funny.

You just need to establish the opportunity to use the bit. Try this:

"So, open-mic night, you know. Pretty crazy in here. You guys having a good time? Yeah. It's good. Last time I was up here was, uh, 1992, but I think the act is finally coming together.

Let's see. Election coming up, huh? You guys following this whole Gennifer Flowers thing? I think those petals been plucked. Arkansas is "The Natural State", but I doubt her carpets match her drapes.

No, don't get me wrong, I think Bill Clinton's got a real shot. He's looking for a slogan to punch up his campaign, something better than "that guy from Arkansas." So: "No new taxes, and no fat chicks". Hey, you too lady.

Anyhow, you know what makes me go Hmmm? In Mexico, C&amp;C music factor is like yes and yes music factory, cause their word for yes is pretty much our third letter of the alphabet. This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

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hahah...that is pretty good, deliver that with a dead pan, reading it off a yellow legal pad, might be pretty funny.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

If the audience doesn't know you, it's always best to open your act with 90 seconds of meta-comedy.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

[ QUOTE ]
If the audience doesn't know you, it's always best to open your act with 90 seconds of meta-comedy.

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have you ever done standup before?

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ive been trying to get a standup routine written, and I know there is a joke in this somewhere, and that is a stupid one, but I cant figure out how to make it funny.

You just need to establish the opportunity to use the bit. Try this:

"So, open-mic night, you know. Pretty crazy in here. You guys having a good time? Yeah. It's good. Last time I was up here was, uh, 1992, but I think the act is finally coming together.

Let's see. Election coming up, huh? You guys following this whole Gennifer Flowers thing? I think those petals been plucked. Arkansas is "The Natural State", but I doubt her carpets match her drapes.

No, don't get me wrong, I think Bill Clinton's got a real shot. He's looking for a slogan to punch up his campaign, something better than "that guy from Arkansas." So: "No new taxes, and no fat chicks". Hey, you too lady.

Anyhow, you know what makes me go Hmmm? In Mexico, C&amp;C music factor is like yes and yes music factory, cause their word for yes is pretty much our third letter of the alphabet. This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

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wtf you just wrote that for this post? that was awesome.