Re: Learning to communicate
 

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Sounds awful.

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You're right, having a girlfriend is an awful experience.
Thank you for you helpful insight.

Re: Learning to communicate
 

I should have put a smiley in there, I guess.

Believe me, I am taking this seriously, but someone was going to make that joke, and I thought it'd be slightly better coming from the OP.

Re: Learning to communicate
 

Then I should've used a smiley too. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: Learning to communicate
 

Kimbell,

I have the same problem whenever I'm explaining something that I'm excited about. I just have to keep reminding myself to slow down or remember to breathe when I talk. Or be like George Bush. Just pause and then say something.

Re: Learning to communicate
 

i think the key in this thread is to just smile a lot whenever you talk/post. That way even if you screw up what you were trying to say, people will still like it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Learning to communicate
 

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Here, I can take time, write a sentence, rewrite it, organize some paragraphs, etc., with very little pressure. When a real person is in front of me, however, I can [censored] up the smoothest logic or the funniest joke on the planet.

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Very simple solution! Calm down, be more mellow & easy going. Practice deep breathing excersices (google) and maybe some quick meditation in the morning to clear your mind and get you going with a fresh start for the day. The worst thing you can do is focus on messing up. Stop caring/worrying about it, and you will find yourself not messing up.

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I don't know, I don't drink. (not opposed to it, and will almost certainly drink in the future, but well, I also happen to be quite socially inept and I don't often find myself in situations where one would drink.)

[/ QUOTE ]Get out more, you're in a cycle. You don't feel comfortable about talking to others, which causes you to not go to social events & socialize, which in turn causes you to grow even more distant with your communication skills.

Get out there, and don't be afraid. It's like asking someone out for a date, lots of people stress like maniacs, when the worst thing that could happen is a "no". Don't think about your constant slip ups it only makes it worse. In your transition period to socialgod, if you find yourself slipping up, learn to laugh at yourself. The more you accept & aren't afraid of your mistakes, the less you'll make them, and eventually they'll disappear.

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Learning to communicate
 

OP, how old are you?

If 18+, explain the "don't drink, but plan on it in future."

I agree with whoever said get a girlfriend. It really does work wonders. Beyond that, whoever said mellow out in general was on the right track. Try some weed or something.

Are you any good at reading/presenting stuff outloud? I think it's a valid question for purposes of determining your situation. Like, say you are given a presentation to present in front of class/co-workers, where you are going to have ample time to prepare, memorize, & practice what you are about to say. Do words flow easier then?

Re: Learning to communicate
 

I've had people recommend this .

Re: Learning to communicate
 

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I've had people recommend this .

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This is good stuff.

Re: Learning to communicate
 

Here's the thing. If you're sufficiently smart and knowledgeable, there are a great deal of things that you'll never be able to explain to most people. And there are some things you won't be able to explain to anybody. Not only that, there a great deal of things you're knowledgeable about that people just don't care about. It sounds like some of your problem is not grasping that fully.

Also realize that things you learn online are very different to things you learn in the classroom, on the job, or from talking to friends. All of these things are tagged with rich syntax, a memory of the speaker's tone and intent, and a million other clues you can never get from reading text on a screen. These are the things that give you the mental order and confidence needed to discuss a topic intelligently.

A final problem may be not aligning your communication strategy with your intent. Smart, overly analytical people tend to do this a lot. Why do you talk to people? Your real reason, underneath everything, may be a desire for attention or recognition or connection - and discussing dry intellectual stuff (which just happens to be fresh in your mind) is usually a very poor way of achieving that.

These things may not necessarily apply to you but they're something to think about.