Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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I agree with Blarg. It seems that many parents push their kids to continue an activity long after the initial impulse is gone. It starts with the parent thinking they don't want their kid to be quitter. It continues with the parent thinking the kid has "potential" or they see considerable improvement and then they become overly invested. You see this with the stage moms and dads.


I didn't want to go off on a rant about this yesterday but I woke up in a funny mood this morning and think I will.

This is not directed at you, OP. I'm just tired of all the moms and dads and people in general that I see who place such emphasis on girls being beautiful and skinny. It's just like VR said, too many really pretty girls grow up in life thinking that's all they have to offer and also looking down their noses at the rest of us who aren't super beautiful and perfect. In my opinion our society is shallow and vain. I'm pretty sick of it. I blame everyone including myself. We all love to look at beautiful people and try to put our best foot forward, but why burden little kids with this? I think these beauty pageants send the wrong message to little girls.

I'm not one of those people who puts a lot of value in the concept of self-esteem, especially where adults are concerned. I think it's annoying and overplayed for the most part. But asking a little child who is not obese to lose weight so she can stand a chance in a beauty contest seems really sad and puts that little kid in a precarious position don't you think?

Ok, sorry, couldn't help myself [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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I didn't know they asked the kids to drop weight. I'd say no just on that account. Plus, I wouldn't want wierdos near my young daughter.

But, I'll have to disagree with you on some of your points K. Life is competitive. Why should she forsake a natural avantage to advance herself (with her beauty)? Money she wins could go toward her college, inventions, etc. If she can compete justly and respectibly, why stop her?

The notion that she will develop a weak value system is mostly up to the parents. Desire to excel at competition /= immorality. Even though the invested skill level is low for modelling next to sports competion, looks only get you so far.

An aside, I've come to the conclusion that there are no ugly women. Just lazy, plain, or plain & lazy ones. If more lazy woment (not just chubbers, but ones who don't optimize their aesthetic), were encouraged to invest in their beauty the world is a better place for them and others. Remember, if we don't know a person, and have nothing else to go on, aesthetics matter. I'd be much more inclined to chat up a plain woman that carries herself in a way that conveys interesting personality traits, than a potentially pretty one who appears to have low self esteem/bad hygene/un managed vices (too many twinkies).


Competition makes people put their best foot forward, especially if they have a good morals to guide them.

IMHO,

O. Salazar
<font color="white">
now for the white, as I address that sexy toed KS. I can tell you're a bit chubby but I'd still massage you feet and lick your toes, among other...ohhh nevermind, i'm done harassing KS </font>

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

This not competition, though, not in a meaningful sense. You compete when you have to do something to excel, not be born cute. You don't do anything in life to earn a cute face. You couldn't even choose not to have one. If anything, kiddie beauty pageants point out the grotesque inappropriatness of some competition.

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Competition makes people put their best foot forward, especially if they have a good morals to guide them.


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This a much too flat, naive statement. Where it falls between hopeful and obtuse, I couldn't say for sure.

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The notion that she will develop a weak value system is mostly up to the parents. Desire to excel at competition /= immorality.


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A kid doesn't live in isolation, especially not from herself. Parents are influences, but the kid is her own person too. And there are also other kids her age around, and other parents too. It's well within anyone's potential to develop the wrong values, especially when surrounded by them.

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Even though the invested skill level is low for modelling next to sports competion, looks only get you so far.


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Umm, it's a looks COMPETITION. How far it gets you is all the way. What the heck kind of virtue or skill do you think is being promulgated or encouraged here? Putting vaseline on your teeth?

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

America's Next Top Model

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

IMO, the cons far outweight the pros. But OP asked for pros, so here's what I can think of.

* Getting rid of stage fright should greatly prepare one for speaking in public (Miss South Carolina notwithstanding).

* Posture. My last job had a few really attractive girls who had no idea how much better they would look if they didn't slouch.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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America's Next Top Model

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Not relevant to a kiddie pageant. Besides, you really believe that show?

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

They do little speaking. Being in a speech or debate class or toastmasters or an acting class would be infinitely better preparation when it comes to speaking.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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But, I'll have to disagree with you on some of your points K. Life is competitive. Why should she forsake a natural avantage to advance herself (with her beauty)? Money she wins could go toward her college, inventions, etc. If she can compete justly and respectibly, why stop her?


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So little time to address all this! (I'm at work and can't write what I want to write)

First, you have a point. If she is a beauty and could flat out win the money then, hey, maybe she should go for it. If I had been a knockout when I was in h.s. and someone told me I could win money for strutting around on stage I'm sure I would have given it some thought. Ok, you have a decent point. But what if the girl is just average and she won't win the money? What if she's pretty but not as gorgeous and gregarious? What does she learn? She learns how to apply makeup and do her hair and dress nice? She learns to talk like a phony? Yeah I suppose that is not a bad thing for advancement in some careers.

And like you said, Orlando, if girls would try harder to be more beautiful then the rest of society would certainly appreciate it. It's painful having to see ugly people wandering around in the grocery store and you can't exactly ask them to cover up [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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I'd be much more inclined to chat up a plain woman that carries herself in a way that conveys interesting personality traits, than a potentially pretty one who appears to have low self esteem/bad hygene/un managed vices (too many twinkies).

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Come one now. Let's hope the majority of girls know how to have good hygene. Geez. So the question is how do you give a plain woman (or ugly woman because I disagree with you on that) confidence? I would suggest that comparing her to hot girls is not a way to give her confidence. I would think the pageants would have the opposite effect, make a plain girl feel even more worthless. I don't know, I'm just trying to visualize it. If you put me in a line with beautiful women I'm going to feel prettay prettay under-confident.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Any "competition" in which inborn advantage/disadvantage is almost impossible to overcome is not one we should encourage our kids to take part in.

There is no way a girl not born beautiful is going to win one of those. No amount of hard work, no amount of dedication will make up for what nature didn't give her.
What are we telling that kid?
"Sorry, Jenny was just born better than you.
Better luck next life."

And what are we telling the pretty girl?
"You are more worthy than the other girls because of your beauty.
That is all you need to get by in life".

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

The pedophiles will be forever grateful?

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Good point, bigpoppa. We are talking about winning as if it were the only option. How great is it to go to a competition like that and lose? Especially for someone in their formative years.

It's bad enough to lose when you can just work harder next time, but you can't work harder at your genetics. Multiple losses sounds very discouraging. I'm not sure how comfortable I would feel about my daughter's finding out in a public arena that looks are the most important thing, and in that regard, she can't cut it.