Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

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- "Digging for treasure in the wood"

Is this slang for spanking the monkey?

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no - it's slang for scratching your butt

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

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Ooh,

6. Plotting to steal porn
You kids that grew up with the internet honestly have no idea. I used to plot breaking into the pharmacy down the way just to get my hands on Playboy. That's how tired I was of masturbating to the dirty words in the dictionary and the boobs in the medical encyclopedia (hot chick though).

"If I throw a rock through the window, they won't have any fingerprints and I'll be gone before the cops come!"

As it was, a friend narced me for shoplifting a playboy and I ended up having several of the most awkward conversations of my life with my mom and dad, the pharmacist (whose store I had to sweep up behind for two days) and who explained that I was driving inflation, and my fifth grade teacher.

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Yeah, this was a big one for me. I also successfully stole multiple Victoria's Secret mags from my mom.

Making forts: As we all know, making forts used to be one of the coolest things ever. My forts tended to be pretty badass, complete with cubby holes, secret entrances, and a lookout.

Having fun at a party without alcohol/drugs: Man I miss these days. Boy/Girl parties were responsible for several makeout sessions with girls. Also, whatever happened to games such as Seven Minutes in Heaven, Truth of Dare, or Spin the Bottle? Those were the days. Which brings up another one...

Using the baseball system to describe your hookups: Remember when you used to be the pimp of the week at school because you got to "second base" with a cute girl? Nowadays, everything can be described as "I got head", "I banged her", or "[censored] that lesbian".

Finally...

Thinking a girl is beautiful based solely on the size of her chest: Remember when everyone though Natalie was the hottest girl is school, even though she had horrible acne? I do. Them tittays were no joke, though.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

Building awesome pillow and blanket forts.

Using stuffed animals as WWF opponents and my bed as the ring. I had a ~4' lion that was a pretty tough opponent.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

The person who mentioned summer hit it for me. Working in education, I'm exposed to concepts like "summer" and "spring break" and now all they mean is that the student works wear shorts.

I used to really enjoy that last day of school and hearing "School's out for summer" in my head.

Also running around the neighborhood playing guns.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

Getting thrown up in the air until you can touch the ceiling.

Falling asleep in the car and getting carried inside.

Spending days at a time barefoot.

Jumping from the couch to the coffee table to avoid the hot lava infested with special lava-loving alligators (we couldn't agree on whether it was hot lava or alligators, so we compromised).

Staying out trying to play some made up game until the last light of day.

Blowing things up with firecrackers.

Getting "shot" and dying in painful slow-motion agony.

Making the dzhhh-dzhhh-dzhhh machine gun sound.

Digging holes for no reason.

Wanting to die because the $6 Million Man was To Be Continued...

Bringing home small creatures and making habitats for them.

Looking forward to going to an amusement park for weeks, painfully marking the days.

Exploring the woods.

Micronauts!

Crying because my sister specifically disinvited me from her tea party.

Jumping our bikes/sleds -> trips the the emergency room.

Trying to stay up ALL NIGHT.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

Falling asleep in the car and getting carried inside.

I think "getting carried at all" is a pretty big signifier of "kid" for any guy who's not 5'4. When was the last time I got the piggy back ride? Bitches.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

bb-gun wars

walking for miles down the train tracks just for the hell of it

sneaking into the drive-in movies

smoking joints in the ball closet at school

LINCOLN LOGS!

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

By-tor, are your childhood voiced by Daniel Stern or Richard Drerfuss?

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

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Being able to play with Legos again is pretty much the sole reason I'd even consider having kids.

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Wow my brother says this all the time haha.

Re: Childhood crap that just doesn\'t happen anymore
 

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By-tor, are your childhood voiced by Daniel Stern or Richard Drerfuss?

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lol.