Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

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But do we really *need* this for a successful relationship? Or is it our balls yelling at us and telling us to go out and be promiscuous?

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We're physical creatures, we live through our bodies, physical intimacy is the most explicitly restricted behavior in monogamous relationships... yeah we need it, it's way more important than we're willing to admit, because our society is full of this BS puritan guilt and shame over lust, sexuality, etc. Whether we "should" or "shouldn't" is irrelevant... you might as well ask whether we "should" get angry when we get punched, or need to eat food.

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This is a good answer and probably how I feel if I really thought about it. By no means did I want to imply we should lock ourselves up with chastity belts. But, given this, should we enter into monogamous relationships at all?

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

my question is, you had to propose to her, how could you bring yourself to do that? you have mixed feelings about her and dont feel passionate about her, yet you are able to get down on 1 knee and ask her to marry you?

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

well at least you didn't have kids w/ her to save the relationship. i feel like lots of people do that.

also, i'm not sure why you proposed to her.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

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We're physical creatures, we live through our bodies, physical intimacy is the most explicitly restricted behavior in monogamous relationships... yeah we need it, it's way more important than we're willing to admit, because our society is full of this BS puritan guilt and shame over lust, sexuality, etc. Whether we "should" or "shouldn't" is irrelevant... you might as well ask whether we "should" get angry when we get punched, or need to eat food.

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This is a good answer and probably how I feel if I really thought about it. By no means did I want to imply we should lock ourselves up with chastity belts. But, given this, should we enter into monogamous relationships at all?

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I don't think monogamy and a healthy sexual life are mutually exclusive. If you have an unhealthy/utterly absent sex life in your relationship though, it probably isn't going to work in the long run. Monogamy is also pretty normal and healthy (or can be, at any rate) as long as you don't neglect the physical side of things. Physical intimacy can also produce/maintain emotional intimacy, not just the other way around. So I don't think monogamy is necessarily bad unless it leads to the denial/repression/neglect of physical needs/desires.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

Do you and the ex still talk? I assume she's pretty bitter about the whole thing. Does she know about the other girl? Did you have difficultly splitting up the mutual assets?

Speaking from personal experience, breaking up with a serious girlfiend/fiance can be one of the most difficult experiences of your life. Although you likely should've broken it off long before the proposal, it still takes balls to finally be honest with yourself. The safe, conservative option does not always equal the correct option in terms of your own happiness.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

Actually, your the pussy. Balls is not running away. Balls is staying in a loveless marriage, having 24/7 access to a smart, funny and hot chick and then cheating on her during your 15 year marriage. Then getting divorces, dumping the rugrats on here and dating your secretary.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

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Do you and the ex still talk? I assume she's pretty bitter about the whole thing. Does she know about the other girl? Did you have difficultly splitting up the mutual assets?

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We don't talk. She's probably very hurt and angry, but has taken it remarkably well. We've communicated over e-mail and txt a few times to straighten things out. Doesn't know about other girl. She basically left everything behind of our mutual assets. I told her that was silly, but I guess she just didn't want to move anything.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

these threads get retarded fast. our beliefs about relationships are a combo of our nature and social conditioning. its always the way things should be vs the way things are. guys who cheat on their wives are the biggest scum on earth, unless they are famous or very rich than its both predicatable and acceptable. women should be attracted to nice guys but they aren't etc etc etc.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

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these threads get retarded fast. our beliefs about relationships are a combo of our nature and social conditioning. its always the way things should be vs the way things are. guys who cheat on their wives are the biggest scum on earth, unless they are famous or very rich than its both predicatable and acceptable. women should be attracted to nice guys but they aren't etc etc etc.

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wow, qft and ftw.

Any ideas on how we can break out of the "should"s? Probably impossible as it would take like a hundred generations of social reconditioning, but can't we at least sponsor a national "It's OK to cheat on your spouse" day? Maybe if everyone got a taste we could shed some of the puritanical "should" shackles.

Re: Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)
 

A relevant strip from one of my favorite web comics: http://xkcd.com/310/