Re: post a joke
 

There are three woman that Joe is interested in. In order to pick one he asks them all the same question: If I gave you $5000 what would you do with it?
Blonde: I would spend it on myself so I can look good for you.
Redhead: I would buy things for you in order to make you happy.
Brunette: I would invest it and give you back $10000.

Which one did he choose?
<font color="white"> The one with the biggest breasts </font>

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How can you tell if a rooster has bird flu?

<font color="white"> It goes COCK-A-DOODLE-CHOO </font>

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what do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?

<font color="white"> eileen. </font>

what do you call a chinese woman with one arm and one leg?

<font color="white"> irene </font>

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Why shouldn't women be allowed to drive?

Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pileup.

Pileup who?

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[ QUOTE ]
Q: "What is pink and mows my lawn?"
A: "My N_______!"
Q: "Now why is he pink?"
A: "Well, I can paint my N______ in any colour I want, or what?"

***************

Q: What do you call a N______ in a Mercedes Benz?
A: A thief!
Q: What do you call a N______ with a gun?
A: Sir!

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mon guys, enough with the N*gger jokes, I have one in my family tree...


















In fact, that reminds me, he's still hanging there...better go take him down.

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Q: What do a native and sperm have in common?

A: One in a million work.

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I was a very happy person.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me ... it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was always flirting with me. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and whisper some dirty words to me, smiling. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her underwear and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."










And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?

Crib death.



[/ QUOTE ]

Winner so far. I'll be impressed if anyone posts a more offensive/funnier joke than this.

[/ QUOTE ]

How about... whats green and fcuks old grannies.....








Pneumonia....

Am I getting close?

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knock [censored] knockdiy knock yo