Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
You should probably go if you care about her at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: GF invites me to wake, what do I do?
 

1. What are the plans you already had for the day?
2. How long have you been dating?
3. Do you see yourself with her in 3 months?

it sounds like a pretty [censored] deal to me, but I can't tell you what to do without being in your shoes.

advanced play: find out what time the wake is. Don't go, call fifteen minutes after the wake starts and leave a voice mail expressing sympathy, condolences, and regret.

Re: GF invites me to wake, what do I do?
 

[ QUOTE ]
1. What are the plans you already had for the day?


[/ QUOTE ]

probably golf , or some thing with his friends ...LDO

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
whats my line?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
she is horrible at bluffing me

[/ QUOTE ]

OP, how solid is your read? I'm thinking you can call the flop and say you'll go if you think a semi-bluff push (offering to be a pallbearer and to make a speech) will get her to fold on the turn. Worst case, you can open-fold the river and pretend you got the flu.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

just go. easy time to meet people as you dont have to be funny or talk very much

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

this is kinda ridiculous. you need to break up with her. if any of my friends (let alone my gf) asked me to go to this, i would cancel my other plans without hesitation.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats my line?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
she is horrible at bluffing me

[/ QUOTE ]

OP, how solid is your read? I'm thinking you can call the flop and say you'll go if you think a semi-bluff push (offering to be a pallbearer and to make a speech) will get her to fold on the turn. Worst case, you can open-fold the river and pretend you got the flu.

[/ QUOTE ]

brilliant

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Make sure that you fill your Party Poker flask with some good bourbon and offer it to her dad. You will be a hero. Make sure to post a trip report.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

chair is right imo... also the fact that you don't want to go but think this is somehow a dilemma (and not a clear indication that you either don't care that much about her or are a jerk, or both) ... lol basically

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Is this your girl?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...f/FL_fig04.jpg

If so, avoid wake at all costs.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]


this is kinda ridiculous. you need to break up with her. if any of my friends (let alone my gf) asked me to go to this, i would cancel my other plans without hesitation.

[/ QUOTE ]

qft.

It's not that hard a thing. You go, pay your respects, stick around for 20 minutes and then you leave. I've been to wakes of co-workers parents and siblings, and I didn't know anyone there.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Here's your line: "I only sleep with female corpses. So I'll take a pass on this one. But how's your Grandma doing?"

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]

I guess OOT votes that I don't go and dump her huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. Did you not read the replies?

OOT votes that if you're serious or want to be serious with this girl, man up and go.

The reason people are saying "dump her" is because people feel that you even asking this question means you're not serious about this girl and have zero desire to be so. Personally, I just think you don't understand how important this kind of thing is to women.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats my line?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
she is horrible at bluffing me

[/ QUOTE ]

OP, how solid is your read? I'm thinking you can call the flop and say you'll go if you think a semi-bluff push (offering to be a pallbearer and to make a speech) will get her to fold on the turn. Worst case, you can open-fold the river and pretend you got the flu.

[/ QUOTE ]

brilliant

[/ QUOTE ]

this is not brilliant, every shmuck does this in some thread like this, it's tired.

don't go if you don't want to, case closed. you're young, why be with a chick anyway? you'll find someone else to put out.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
She gave me 1 day notice (its tomorrow).

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

She views you as her emotional support. Whether or not you see it that way doesn't matter. She isn't testing you. Life is testing you. Given the choice, are you a decent human being? Why would you add to her trauma?

It has nothing to do with your future plans for the relationship. You are in one with her now and she has a completely legit need for your support. Don't tell her what a sacrfice your making. Don't trivialize her pain. Just because they knew he was going to die doesnt mean it doesnt hurt. Just suck it up and go.

Re: GF invites me to wake, what do I do?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Doesn't matter what the excuse is, men will always look like dogs here if they don't go. It appears selfish and unsympathetic. If you are always afraid of awkward, unexpected family situations when it comes to dating, then you are likely unexperienced. Suck it up if you care. Otherwise don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

I said we aren't that serious. But I didn't mention she likes me alot more than I like her. I am not inexperienced at dating. How many people go to a wake not knowing a single person? I've never met these people, and I have to get up early to drive two hours to see a wake (i've actually never been to a wake or a funeral before)

[/ QUOTE ]

I can see how this may be causing some anxiety.

First of all, wakes are typically not stiff and sad like funerals. Wakes are a celebration of life. The last one I went to was when FFK's dad passed last year and it was very nice and healing. People weren't dressed in black and carrying tissues. Friends and acquaintances showed and shared touching/funny/meaningful stories about the deceased. The smile to tear ratio was very moving. IMO, this is the ideal way to embark on the mourning process.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats my line?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
she is horrible at bluffing me

[/ QUOTE ]

OP, how solid is your read? I'm thinking you can call the flop and say you'll go if you think a semi-bluff push (offering to be a pallbearer and to make a speech) will get her to fold on the turn. Worst case, you can open-fold the river and pretend you got the flu.

[/ QUOTE ]

brilliant

[/ QUOTE ]

this is not brilliant, every shmuck does this in some thread like this, it's tired.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your mother is tired.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
OP, how solid is your read? I'm thinking you can call the flop and say you'll go if you think a semi-bluff push (offering to be a pallbearer and to make a speech) will get her to fold on the turn. Worst case, you can open-fold the river and pretend you got the flu.


[/ QUOTE ]

Owl,

Wow, this is indeed brilliant. I never thought of using poker analogies like this in the forum before. You should do this more often in OOT. I'm sure everyone would appreciate it.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

adsman,

You have mis-read the board.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

I agree. The only reason to go would be to continue getting laid but, hey, there are many more fish in the sea. Also, if you go she might think that the relationship is more serious than you think/want it to be. Don't go!!!

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

You need to clarify a bit.

If she is a FRIEND, you help your friend out, male, female or something in between. That's what friends do.

If she's just a piece of ass, do what you want.

Simple enough.

MM MD

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

There's nothing like a funeral to advance a relationship sex. She's crying, you put your arms around her to console her; it's like three dates in one shot

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
She isn't testing you. Life is testing you. Given the choice, are you a decent human being? Why would you add to her trauma?

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
She gave me 1 day notice (its tomorrow). She told me to call her back because she had to go, we didn't finish talking about it

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a terrible breach of etiquette by the deceased. Save the Date cards should be sent at least eight weeks in advance of a wake. One should retain a suicide doctor if necessary for scheduling purposes.

OP, I suggest you break up with your gf so she can find someone who's not a douchebag.

Re: GF invites me to wake, what do I do?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Doesn't matter what the excuse is, men will always look like dogs here if they don't go. It appears selfish and unsympathetic. If you are always afraid of awkward, unexpected family situations when it comes to dating, then you are likely unexperienced. Suck it up if you care. Otherwise don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

I said we aren't that serious. But I didn't mention she likes me alot more than I like her. I am not inexperienced at dating. How many people go to a wake not knowing a single person? I've never met these people, and I have to get up early to drive two hours to see a wake (i've actually never been to a wake or a funeral before)

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say that you, personally, are inexperienced..but if experience teaches you anything, you should realize you need to be available emotionally to women.

It doesn't matter if the drive is 2 hours. No relationship is free, so quit being a [censored].

I vote that your "gf" dump you. For some reason, I doubt you would have posted anon to an internet forum if you had other prospects.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
"I wouldn't really feel comfortable, especially having this be the first time that I meet the rest of your family. I'm sorry."

[/ QUOTE ]

This only works if he hasn't already tried to get out of it by giving another excuse.

-McGee

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

She wants a threesome with you and dead grampa obv.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
It is uncomfortable, but you should go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Absolutely. It's a funeral; don't be shallow. This isn't about you, it's about your G/F and her family. Besides, you'll score points later on if the relationship leads to anything.

And if it's a grandmother, it's not like 100 people are going to be sobbing and devestated. You'll be able to meet people who weren't close but are there for support. It's not like it's a 12 year old kid that was run over by a car.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

I agree this sounds suspicious and could be a set up. She could even follow up with burial invitation. If so, wear a cross, garlic necklace, and just in case - a condom. Don't jump directly into the grave like that dude in "Salem's Lot" and stay outta enclosed tombs altogether. Recommend you and she watch "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" the night before. Most importantly, only attend burial during daylight hours.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Don't go. Meeting GF's family is awkward enough under normal conditions. It's inappropiate for her to ask you to meet her family at a wake, IMO. Hopefully she'll be able to see this.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Perhaps a good way to get into the families.. good graces. Go, meet them, and ask to hear stories about ol' gramps. Maybe he was a really cool guy. Maybe you can learn something about his life that you can apply to your own short existence on this planet.

Or you could waste the day playing video games/golf/poker while severly destroying your current relationship.

All else aside, this seems like the perfect time to meet the family. Being there by itself shows that you care for their daughter, it shows you're a stand up individual. And most importantly, you don't really have to make much small talk. A simple "Hello, sorry for you loss" and you're off the hook. You'll never get another chance like this again. (And if the people really want a distraction, they can just ask this new person about himself, and any mundane BS he spouts off will help distract them, which they'll be grateful for. Ego boosting for you, a distraction for them, everyone's a winner!)

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Break up with her to get the upper hand. If she comes back she won't pull any of this BS.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

kkf always posts serious advice in his own trolling threads, it's how you know it's his work.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She gave me 1 day notice (its tomorrow). She told me to call her back because she had to go, we didn't finish talking about it

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a terrible breach of etiquette by the deceased. Save the Date cards should be sent at least eight weeks in advance of a wake. One should retain a suicide doctor if necessary for scheduling purposes.

OP, I suggest you break up with your gf so she can find someone who's not a douchebag.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I sense a little sarcasm in this post.

Personally, this issue to me has nothing to do with the grandfather. It has to do with going to a wake, which ive never been to, to meet alot of people who I have never met and feel sad.

Maybe I am an [censored] and insensitive, but I don't think I am.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

I'm with ya Man. She should have given more notice.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Here's your line: "I only sleep with female corpses. So I'll take a pass on this one. But how's your Grandma doing?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I said this to her and she got this bitchy attitude. I guess she really doesn't like me =\

</level>

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Here's your line: "I only sleep with female corpses. So I'll take a pass on this one. But how's your Grandma doing?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I said this to her and she got this bitchy attitude. I guess she really doesn't like me =\

</level>

[/ QUOTE ]

Sarcasm this obvious != level

In fact, it may actually be a negative level.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So her grandfather died after alot of hospitalizations, and she definatley saw it coming and so did her family but she isn't taking it well. I have to drive awhile and meet her family, which i've never done, and I really don't want to go. We aren't very serious. Is it -ev to just say "I don't want to go." and be honest?

I don't think lying is a good line... and I wouldn't expect her to attend a wake for my family and I doubt I would even invite her unless she knew the family member.

need help =-0

[/ QUOTE ]

If you don't want to break up, go. If you do, then be honest, then break up with her in a couple of weeks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would I break up with her, because her grandfather died? That makes no sense. If she can understand my hesitation then there is no problem between us.

Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
 

Well, as you said, you two aren't too serious. If you wanted to help move along the relationship, this would be a great opportunity to. If you don't want to, then skipping out would be a great move. There's not that much to it, and that's why everyone thinks you're ready to bolt on this girl.

If you want to talk to her about why you have some apprehension about going, feel free to. It could help bring you two together. But don't do it with the idea that there's no chance you're going. Go in with an open mind and the awareness that she's going thru a lot more than some possible social awkwardness and you'll be okay. Probably. Or she'll think you're a totally selfish prick. It's hard for me to say, as I don't know how she feels about you. She obviously has some feelings for you, or she wouldn't want you there with her, as her emotional support.