Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Are you sure your mom hasn't gotten in deep with the bingo parlor?

[/ QUOTE ]

Awesome.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

I come from a small family (3 aunts, 3 cousins, thats it) I was a total f up as a kid. When I was 15 $100 went missing from my aunt connie's purse. I got the not so subtle stare down time to confess treatment. I didn't take the money. My aunt connie is a nice lady, 20 years later its the first thing that pops into my head when I hear her name.


You BETTER be right.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
Bring it up with the kid and if he denies it, give him a long Larry David staredown and go about your business.

[/ QUOTE ]

"okay..okay."

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

It's time to act like an uncle. Giving the kid the silent treatment for a week is so lame. And it'll stale the relationship between the two of you. The best thing that come out of this situation is that you teach him a healthy lesson, and you also show that you can be a cool uncle about it. If I were you I would take him aside and say somethin like 'I am missing $100. I dont think either your mum or dad took it, so unfortunately that just leaves you. I dont give a [censored] (throw in curse words to show your the cool uncle) about the money, I'm just a bit pissed that you'd steal from me. I'm not going to tell your parents, but I just want you to think about this'.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
It's time to act like an uncle. Giving the kid the silent treatment for a week is so lame. And it'll stale the relationship between the two of you. The best thing that come out of this situation is that you teach him a healthy lesson, and you also show that you can be a cool uncle about it. If I were you I would take him aside and say somethin like 'I am missing $100. I dont think either your mum or dad took it, so unfortunately that just leaves you. I dont give a [censored] (throw in curse words to show your the cool uncle) about the money, I'm just a bit pissed that you'd steal from me. I'm not going to tell your parents, but I just want you to think about this'.

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The kid is definitely old enough that his parents do not need to be involved. A 14 year old kid knows not to steal. Any problems or suspicions you have can be handled between you and your nephew. If I was in your position, I would only tell his parents if I really felt his theft was a serious problem. But if it's a crime of opportunity, just a case of "No one will notice a little money missing", let him know that behavior of that sort is wrong whether or not anyone notices. Tell him he gets one free pass, and next time you'll let his parents deal with him.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
and am treating him coldly which is VERY much different from the way it normally would be.

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Big mistake, you just tipped your hand. The little crafty bastard knows now that you suspect him, so you won't be able to surprise him with an out of left field comment that leaves his jaw hanging. He's probably upstairs now practicing his "surprised" faces for when you do this. He's also probably covering his tracks by throwing away the wrappers from all those baseball card packs that he bought.

Your best bet now is to be able to convince him that it would be much better to resolve this between the pair of you than to get his parents involved. I'd probably put money on him being able to pysche you out though.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
uh oh, $100 call the FBI!!

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At dinner when you are all round the table one evening, open your wallet/purse and mention 'i swore i should have an extra $100 in here' and just watch the kid's face. Try and pick something up.

Maybe cos it's family give them the benefit of the doubt this one time, but if more stuff goes missing take some action.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
It's time to act like an uncle. Giving the kid the silent treatment for a week is so lame. And it'll stale the relationship between the two of you.

[/ QUOTE ]

He started it!

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

here is what you do, at the dinner table wager $100 on a ridiculous bet where you are sure to lose and see if the kid takes on the offer. He can't resist so when he whips out the $100 you then you pop the question, SO HOW DID YOU GET THAT HUNDO HMMMM?

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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I put a piece of paper in my pocket with a note that says 'Put it back'.

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awesome

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He still won't though, so its not very effective.

It'd be more awesome if the kid took the money and replaced the note with one that said "No."

[/ QUOTE ]

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Kids' note: " No, and I want a hundred every time we visit or I tell my dad you tried to touch me."

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
then make not-so-obvious eye contact with the kid, and gauge his response.

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I agree with this. Your a live poker player right? You should know right away if he took it or not....

Also, I remember when I was 14, I stole a roll of dimes from my grandmas house. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!! LOL at this..my mom had me help her look through the garbage for the empty dimes wrapper, which I had indeed put in the trash. I also found it and put it into my pocket. I still remember what I bought with that $10. A giant sized special edition Fantastic Four comic and CANDY!!!

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Howard, you already said you aren't 100% sure so I wouldn't say anything to anyone about it, just chalk it up to experience.

Two summers ago we had a family outing at my house, all my wife's relatives. Late in the day her niece and husband showed up after most people left. They both have had coke problems but were supposedly straight at the time.

Well I had my poker cash, about $2000 in my top bureau draw. Sometime during their visit the niece went into the house to use the bathroom and was gone a long time.

After they left, I started thinking about my poker stash and her being in the house and I went to check to see if it was still there and it was gone. My wife was absolutley sure her niece took it and wanted to call her.

I nixed that and said we aren't sure and besides it's "my fault" for leaving the money where someone could take it and that we weren't doing anything. Well good thing because the next day I found the money in a different drawer.

So, I would just forget it. It's not your job anyway to teach this kid life's lessons.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Doesn't it seem way more likely that you got shorted or dropped the money somewhere along the way?

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

At dinner, tell them you had an operative witness the theft. Have everyone stand at the dinner table and put their right hand into the person's left pocket. Find the marked bill.

Make that person switch places with a homeless guy. Hilarity will ensue.

Leverage the homeless guy's street smarts and the thief's knowledge of financial markets to take down the Dukes.

Profit.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Doesn't it seem way more likely that you got shorted or dropped the money somewhere along the way?

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Agreed - unless you have reason to believe otherwise from the kid's history, doing anything besides saying "damn, I lost $100 bucks" and gaging his reaction is stupid.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

when i walked out the door saturday morning, i had $300 in my pocket. after much post michigan-loss drinking, i woke up sunday with $16.50 on my dresser, and no clue how my day's bankroll got so low...

i think i have a 14-year old running around here, too..

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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At dinner, tell them you had an operative witness the theft.

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Yeah, but then when Howard brings out his Real Doll and asks her to point out the culprit, things could get a bit awkward.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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This is pretty excellent advice I feel (apart from letting him keep it, like suzzer said, his reward is you dont tell his parents).

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Agreed. Excellent post by By-Tor. However, I think letting him keep the money is crucial. The act of generosity here will have a more profound impact than taking the money back. He will feel really guilty (assuming he is not a crappy person) and will NEVER forget about it. It also teaches the kid a lesson on forgiveness and generosity.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
Social retard? wtf, I'm more normal than most on here.


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Maybe, but that's not saying much.

If you're not sure that the kid took the money, you shouldn't mention the missing money to him or the rest of the family. Everyone will immediately assume that you suspect the kid, even if you don't come out and say it. If he didn't steal the money, it will severely damage your relationship with him.

I do like the "Put it back" note idea to a certain extent. It won't work unless the kid is an even bigger scumbag and comes back for seconds, though. Unless he actually returns the money (and I can just about guarantee that he won't), you'll have no idea whether or not he took the $100.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

HOWARD: <font color="green">Did the cage short me? Did I drop it somewhere? The answer to both is 'I don't think so' but that isn't good enough. My mind starts to create doubts.</font>

BY-TOR: <font color="blue">if close and you are 100% positive the cash is missing and you are 99% sure that he took it</font>

it does not appear that the conditions of by-tor's advice have been met.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

FFK, By-Tor:

"if he is honest again...let him keep the cash"

I'm with suzzer/Alobar. Completely disagree about letting him keep the money.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

no one's asked this question yet, but, what "pocket" are you talking about? your pants pocket? your jacket pocket? when/how do you suspect he would've been going through your pockets w/o you knowing it?

if it were me, I'd probably just search through the 14-y.o.'s stuff and see if I could find where he stashed it. or wait till everyone goes hottubbing or whatever and go through *his* pockets. you're more likely to be able to set your mind at ease if you can try to find it, yourself, then if you try to do some columbo mindtricks.

and like you say, you didn't rubberband it, so there's some chance of it falling out somewhere. a rubberband wouldn't've stopped him from taking it, but it would've stopped it from simply getting lost - and in this case it would've prevented some of the doubt in your mind, which is going to be hard to clear, anyway, unless you can get a confession from him (not likely) or unless you can just find it yourself (probably not hard to do if he actually took it).

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
FFK, By-Tor:

"if he is honest again...let him keep the cash"

I'm with suzzer/Alobar. Completely disagree about letting him keep the money.

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IAWED.

Maybe do something nice for him, but letting him keep the money is a really bad idea.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

letting him keep the money is probably the worst possible thing you could do.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Mmmmmmmh ok yeah on reflection, don't let him keep the money. Positive reinforcement FTL.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
no one's asked this question yet, but, what "pocket" are you talking about? your pants pocket? your jacket pocket? when/how do you suspect he would've been going through your pockets w/o you knowing it?

if it were me, I'd probably just search through the 14-y.o.'s stuff and see if I could find where he stashed it. or wait till everyone goes hottubbing or whatever and go through *his* pockets. you're more likely to be able to set your mind at ease if you can try to find it, yourself, then if you try to do some columbo mindtricks.

and like you say, you didn't rubberband it, so there's some chance of it falling out somewhere. a rubberband wouldn't've stopped him from taking it, but it would've stopped it from simply getting lost - and in this case it would've prevented some of the doubt in your mind, which is going to be hard to clear, anyway, unless you can get a confession from him (not likely) or unless you can just find it yourself (probably not hard to do if he actually took it).

[/ QUOTE ]

going through his stuff is lame imo

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Am I the only one who read the thread title and thought he meant a hooker stole 100 bucks?

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Am I the only one who read the thread title and thought he meant a hooker stole 100 bucks?

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Hooker, 14 year old boy, what's the difference?
OP got screwed and he's out 100.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Good point

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Am I the only one who read the thread title and thought he meant a hooker stole 100 bucks?

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Got Company- Hooker.

$100 missing- Bitch took it

Here's what I've done- Picture of hooker chopped up.


Pretty much what I expected. Either that or some delightful dinner theatre Clue-style shenanigans.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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going through his stuff is lame imo

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maybe so. got any better ideas?

the alternative is simply forget about it, but it doesn't sound like the OP is going to be able to do that. there are variations on the "make an implied accusation" method and hope for a confession or clear evidence of guilt (though as has been noted, if the kids turns red that could as easily mean "why do I always get blamed" as "I'm guilty"), but I don't think these are likely to yield anything other than a lot of awkwardness which the OP is trying to avoid, anyway.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Just let it slide, the kid will deny it, there is no way to actually prove it, it is just going to create awful tension around the holidays. Just keep the money hidden when he is around.

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This is what I'm doing. I've let the entire thing slide because I think it's best. I'm treating my nephew as if nothing happened but we are going to the mall soon and normally I'd buy him something but I won't this time and I'm not going to let my mother spend the amount she usually would on him. Also, his d-day is Friday. I was going to put $100 in the card but now he's getting a fiver.

To the poster who wanted to know what my brother would do:

He'd try to be calm but eventually go insane. I can't risk it.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
HOWARD: <font color="green">Did the cage short me? Did I drop it somewhere? The answer to both is 'I don't think so' but that isn't good enough. My mind starts to create doubts.</font>

BY-TOR: <font color="blue">if close and you are 100% positive the cash is missing and you are 99% sure that he took it</font>

it does not appear that the conditions of by-tor's advice have been met.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just so and it's why I'm not saying anything. Being 99% certain isn't good enough.

Re: Which pocket? I left my pants draped over my BR chair. Nephew is staying in the next room over and could easily slip into my room while I'm in the bathroom.

Anyway, I've thought about it some more and I'm not even going to stop my mom from buying him stuff. I'm chalking it up to experience and some sort of very long delayed Karma pay-back.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
This is what I'm doing. I've let the entire thing slide because I think it's best. I'm treating my nephew as if nothing happened but we are going to the mall soon and normally I'd buy him something but I won't this time and I'm not going to let my mother spend the amount she usually would on him. Also, his d-day is Friday. I was going to put $100 in the card but now he's getting a fiver.


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So you're not sure if he stole the money, but you're going to passive-aggressively punish him as if he did? So if he didn't take the money, he'll be completely perplexed as to what he did to make you suddenly treat him so much differently than usual. Good plan. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Edit: Looks like you've already changed your mind.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

I have a child who is almost 14. If she steals $100 from my brother, or if he strongly suspected that she stole $100 from him, I would expect him to tell me about it. It would suck to be told at Thanksgiving, but raising children is difficult - - as are relationships between family members and brothers.

I think it is wrong to withhold information from family members about their children because of a fear that the disclosure will create a dramatic, tense situation.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Social retard? wtf, I'm more normal than most on here.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hardly mutually exclusive statements.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Just let it slide, the kid will deny it, there is no way to actually prove it, it is just going to create awful tension around the holidays. Just keep the money hidden when he is around.

---------------------------

This is what I'm doing.

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[ QUOTE ]
normally I'd buy him something but I won't this time and I'm not going to let my mother spend the amount she usually would on him. Also, his d-day is Friday. I was going to put $100 in the card but now he's getting a fiver.

[/ QUOTE ]


WTF? How is any of this even close to 'letting it slide'?
Letting it slide means letting it slide.

If you want to give him some cold-shoulder type treatment and think that's best (which I think is a bad way to go but whatever) then go ahead and do that. But you aren't even coming close to the 'letting it slide' suggestion that you somehow think you are actually agreeing with.


Also - there still seems to be the very real possibility that you were shorted at the cage or had mis-counted how much you had won or something like that.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

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Maybe do something nice for him, but letting him keep the money is a really bad idea.

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If Howard finds out for certain that his nephew stole the money, the only "nice" thing he should do for him is to not rat him out to his father (if the kid admits that the took the money and apologizes, that is). Anything more than that is gravy for the kid.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Just let it slide, the kid will deny it, there is no way to actually prove it, it is just going to create awful tension around the holidays. Just keep the money hidden when he is around.

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This is what I'm doing.

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[ QUOTE ]
normally I'd buy him something but I won't this time and I'm not going to let my mother spend the amount she usually would on him. Also, his d-day is Friday. I was going to put $100 in the card but now he's getting a fiver.

[/ QUOTE ]


WTF? How is any of this even close to 'letting it slide'?
Letting it slide means letting it slide.

If you want to give him some cold-shoulder type treatment and think that's best (which I think is a bad way to go but whatever) then go ahead and do that. But you aren't even coming close to the 'letting it slide' suggestion that you somehow think you are actually agreeing with.


Also - there still seems to be the very real possibility that you were shorted at the cage or had mis-counted how much you had won or something like that.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right and as I've mentioned above I'm going to totally let it slide.

Re the necessity of telling my brother even at this time: He's on the patio eating a salad, my sister is sunning herself at the pool and mom is looking forward to going to the mall. Thanksgiving dinner is at 3:00 tomorrow. I can't bring myself to mess this up.

Re: Got company. $100 missing. Here\'s what I\'ve done.
 

Howard,

It is a nice day today, isn't it?