Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

Mastermind behind counterfeit batting cage token syndicate.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Its from a film or TV show, can't quite put my finger on which one though.


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it is actually a true story.

Melch

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It's actually not a true story, but many people think it is. Check Snopes.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I was tagged doing 60 in a 55 on I 80 once. Enraged at this miscarriage of justice, the NTSB (or whomever) raised the speed limit on interstates to 65 just 6 weeks later.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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I hijacked a friends email account who overreacted and contacted the FBI because AOL wouldn't trace the incoming call without an order from the feds. Oops.

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What did he use the e-mail account for?

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Just personal email that I thought was funny and I should, of course...um...'augment' with some additional, more comical, stuff. I didn't think it would be a big deal and would just blow over. It didn't.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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a couple of years ago i purchased some rare cigars that were worth alot of money and had them insured from fire among other things.

i smoked the cigars and after i finished i tried to sue the insurance company because my cigars caught on fire and were burned. they refused to pay and i took them to court.

the judge ruled that i was entitled to $15,000 compensation from the insurance company because despite the fact that i had smoked my own cigars, they were in fact insured against fire. the insurance company paid the check immediately.

shortly after cashing the check, the insurance company had 2 police officers come and arrest me for 24 counts of arson. i was convicted of intentionally burning insured property and was sentenced to a 24 month sentence but was let out after 6 months on parole.

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this can't be true, but it's a brilliant story!

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

They sell fire insurance for something that you set on fire?


Fake

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

In college are house had a party about 150 people there. It got busted and guess who purchased the beer? ME!!!! 7 kegs worth. Yea i had the choice of turning my self in and getting cut a break or taking about 100 counts of serving to minors. This wasnt a hard choice either 1200$ in fines or 120,000$+ in fines. Lesson is never buy kegs for big parties with little kids.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

Counterfeit(sp?) money. I made $10 bills using the photoshop-microsoft word-print out on both sides-put in the dryer to make soft-technique.

Then I gave them to a couple kids in Spanish class. He tried to buy nachos at the school cafeteria and it originally passed, until the lunch supervisor or something caught the bill, and then the kid came and used another fake one the next day.

He rats me out. We only get suspended for 3 days, because if it was the standard 5 we would have missed finals. The kid I gave it to and his friend end up getting a misdemeanor charge and are on probation until their 18, for knowingly spending it. I get off with just the suspension.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I thought she was 18.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Counterfeit(sp?) money. I made $10 bills using the photoshop-microsoft word-print out on both sides-put in the dryer to make soft-technique.

Then I gave them to a couple kids in Spanish class. He tried to buy nachos at the school cafeteria and it originally passed, until the lunch supervisor or something caught the bill, and then the kid came and used another fake one the next day.

He rats me out. We only get suspended for 3 days, because if it was the standard 5 we would have missed finals. The kid I gave it to and his friend end up getting a misdemeanor charge and are on probation until their 18, for knowingly spending it. I get off with just the suspension.

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C'mon, this is so incredibly stupid you have to be a gimmick account? Right?

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

Making fake IDs.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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C'mon, this is so incredibly stupid you have to be a gimmick account? Right?

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Nope

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Counterfeit(sp?) money. I made $10 bills using the photoshop-microsoft word-print out on both sides-put in the dryer to make soft-technique.

Then I gave them to a couple kids in Spanish class. He tried to buy nachos at the school cafeteria and it originally passed, until the lunch supervisor or something caught the bill, and then the kid came and used another fake one the next day.

He rats me out. We only get suspended for 3 days, because if it was the standard 5 we would have missed finals. The kid I gave it to and his friend end up getting a misdemeanor charge and are on probation until their 18, for knowingly spending it. I get off with just the suspension.

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C'mon, this is so incredibly stupid you have to be a gimmick account? Right?

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No, no! I belive him! This is the "home casino" guy after all - anything is possible!

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Counterfeit(sp?) money. I made $10 bills using the photoshop-microsoft word-print out on both sides-put in the dryer to make soft-technique.

Then I gave them to a couple kids in Spanish class. He tried to buy nachos at the school cafeteria and it originally passed, until the lunch supervisor or something caught the bill, and then the kid came and used another fake one the next day.

He rats me out. We only get suspended for 3 days, because if it was the standard 5 we would have missed finals. The kid I gave it to and his friend end up getting a misdemeanor charge and are on probation until their 18, for knowingly spending it. I get off with just the suspension.

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you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?


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I quit counterfeiting when I realized people didn't think they were real bills when I tried to pass them along.

Now my desires are focused to starting a deli.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I stole some girls virginity once

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?


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I quit counterfeiting when I realized people didn't think they were real bills when I tried to pass them along.

Now my desires are focused to starting a deli.

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Is that a euphymism for you're having a sandwich for lunch? Or are you serious? That's pretty cool. What kinda deli? What made you think of this?

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

When I was 14, I got my first computer. It came with a scanner so I, being the smarty that I am, decided to Print of 20 dollar bills and go to kmart with them.

me and a buddy of mine printed off the bills (btw, it's hard to get them so it's even front and back). We did this the night before the 'job'. We laid in my room thinking of what we were gonna buy with all these twenties.

Well, we had the money ready to go the next morning but as we're walking to kmart we realize that we didn't cut the money close enough. So we go inside the store and use real money to buy a pair of scissors. Then we go outside and sit on a hill right next to kmart and cut the money so it looks better.

We weren't sure what we were gonna buy. My friend suggested this box of basketball cards that was like 34 bucks. Now this money felt like paper, and it really didn't look right either, iuno what we were thinking. There were 2 checkout lanes open (a young kid and an old lady) We chose the young kid for some reason. My buddy is behind me in line.

I put the box of cards on the belt thingy and get ready for the moment of truth. He says "34.something" and I hand him 2 fake twenties. I had just gotten paid from my [censored] bus boy job at some lil cafeteria so i had prob 80 bucks in my wallet of real cash. I decide to hand him 2 fake instead of 1 fake and 1 real. Not really sure if it woulda mattered. The kid looks at the money and then shows another clerk. At this point I know i'm [censored]. My friend had already realized that and had backed up and went to another line and bought tictacs and left the store.

So there I am, a 14 year old kid paying for basketball cards with fake 20's. The kid goes "this is fake"... thinking on my feet I go "what, i just got these from the bank!"

So i whip out my wallet and flash my 4 real twenties to him. I said "here, are these fake?" and he looks at all of them and says no. I go, "here" and I gave him 2 real twenties. I ask for the 2 fake ones back and he said that he has to keep them.

After I bitch out my friend for leaving me there, we go home and split up the basketball cards. To this day I haven't received his half of the money, even tho he got half the cards.

Not really sure what we were thinking, but I'm lucky I didn't get into any kind of trouble.

ahhhh lesson learned.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?
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I quit counterfeiting when I realized people didn't think they were real bills when I tried to pass them along.

Now my desires are focused to starting a deli. [ QUOTE ]
Is that a euphymism for you're having a sandwich for lunch? Or are you serious? That's pretty cool. What kinda deli? What made you think of this?

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I have a new-found love for bagels with blueberry cream cheese. I figure I can get my deli in the big time by sponsoring the Frisbee World Championships. Business will be booming. Then I'll have a huge chain, someday take over Panda Express and I will take over China and put them into forced labor and my deli's and have people who can actually speak Enlglish at the Panda Express.
Thats my plan

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?
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I quit counterfeiting when I realized people didn't think they were real bills when I tried to pass them along.

Now my desires are focused to starting a deli. [ QUOTE ]
Is that a euphymism for you're having a sandwich for lunch? Or are you serious? That's pretty cool. What kinda deli? What made you think of this?

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I have a new-found love for bagels with blueberry cream cheese. I figure I can get my deli in the big time by sponsoring the Frisbee World Championships. Business will be booming. Then I'll have a huge chain, someday take over Panda Express and I will take over China and put them into forced labor and my deli's and have people who can actually speak Enlglish at the Panda Express.
Thats my plan

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Maybe you should just stick to [censored] banana peels for now.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

Petty theft
underage drinking
posession of a controlled substance
speeding & other traffic violations
Driving while intoxicated
Statutory rape (I was 19 she was 17 and 10 months)
assault
fraud (cheating in H.S.?)
vandalism
arson (when I was 12)
Illegal gambling
reciept of stolen property

That is all I can think of right now.

p.s. I have never even been close to being arrested

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Maybe you should just stick to [censored] banana peels for now.

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i had forgotten this. no offense, tworooks, but i don't think i'll buy any food products from you.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Biggest crime you've ever committed?

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http://img320.imageshack.us/img320/8...tricide5pe.gif

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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C'mon, this is so incredibly stupid you have to be a gimmick account? Right?

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tworooks: SuperGenius

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

i put a1 sauce on steak once.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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i put a1 sauce on steak once.

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Was this before or after you tore that little "do not remove" tag off a pillow.

DO NOT DENY IT

LIAR

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Biggest crime you've ever committed?

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http://img320.imageshack.us/img320/8...tricide5pe.gif

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Now you're forcing it. Stop now.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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i put a1 sauce on steak once.

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Was this before or after you tore that little "do not remove" tag off a pillow.

DO NOT DENY IT

LIAR

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[img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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Biggest crime you've ever committed?

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http://img320.imageshack.us/img320/8...tricide5pe.gif

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your best yet

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

Worst. Plan. Ever.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I once killed a drifter to get an erection. Even wrote a song about it.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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I once killed a drifter to get an erection. Even wrote a song about it.

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this account is hilarious. I love this movie.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I coordinated a systematic pattern of theft from Strawberries Records and Tapes while I worked there. I would estimate that over the course of about 6 months we stole 400 or so CD's, some for personal use, most for sale.

This had been going on at the store for quite a while, the method had in fact been handed down to me by a prior employee. I in turn passed it down to subsequent employees, who were the ones that got arrested. I heard that the manager of the store, who was a great guy, was fired because of all this (he was not involved), sued, and won a bunch of money for wrongful termination.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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For some reason they have security checks on people getting off planes as well as people getting on them.

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Umm, that's called Customs.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

i fought a cop once. i lost. badly. also, mace is stronger than jagermiester. its like those asthma commercials.."when your eyes are melting, nothing else matters"

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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i put a1 sauce on steak once.

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I put ketchup on my steak...I'm so much more street than you [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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i put a1 sauce on steak once.

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I put ketchup on my steak...I'm so much more street than you [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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i lied anyway, i'm practially an angel.
...if it weren't for all the lies. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

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Don't take your guns to town, son, leave your guns at home.

Re: Biggest crime you\'ve ever committed?
 

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I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

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You have an excuse...

Your daddy left home when you were three and didn't leave much for Ma and you except that ol' guitar and an empty bottle of booze.