Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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Regardless of the motivation, I don't think it's that simple to assume she wouldn't be interested in a LTR.

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I think she may want a LTR, but my contention is that if she has several guys to choose from she's not gonna go for the guy who asks for a LTR after 3 days.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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We ran through all 6 episodes and then I make a move on her and get her into bed. {snip}
So on Tuesday I find out she's been seeing another guy. Started seeing him about a week before she saw me, got together at least 2-3 times during the last week for Starbucks/watching movies/general hanging out. {snip}
And I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing two guys if she's not in a relationship with either one. I understand it's not my business, although if she's getting serious with him I'd like to know so I'm not wasting my time. {snip}
I think I may be a couple days too late though.
FWIW, I would be interested in a serious relationship with this girl, not just a booty call. {snip}
The thing is I would hate to be in a situation where she prefers me, but since this guy may have been first to push for a more serious relationship, she settles for him. I feel like I need to make it clear I'm interested in seeing her more and maybe getting more serious.

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This girl sounds like she is a playa (maybe even a total sloot).

Please read and re-read WiSeIVIaN's reply, and Fast Food Knight 's replies. Each is spot on.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Thanks everyone for the advice. Yes I should be happy I got some NSA sex and I'll be keeping that in mind in case I don't hear from her again. My mind was really not in the right place with this girl, and if nothing else some of these posts have helped fix that. Anyway as of right now it looks like the unanimous decision is to wait at least several days, not sure yet if I'll go with the try one more time and then give up camp or just wait indefinitely for her to contact me. But I've got a few days to consider it, and really I wouldn't be too surprised if I hear from her before then, although the chances of that happening are lower than I would like.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

d10,

Another alternative is to create a new profile and send her a wink.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Online relationships are total dogsh*t. I'm convinced that these things will never work other than for random booty calls and awkward moments of denial afterwards. Find another way to meet someone if you want a LTR.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

If you do see/call/text her again, then casually mention that you're not really into exclusive relationships and you're not the jealous type.

That way, she'll know she can bone you and her cast of thousands at the same time.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

I'm not gonna lie to you- chicks who like to hook up w/multiple guys at the same time are usually needy/attention whores/slutty and not at all the kinds of girls you (or at least I) would want to be in a relationship with.
The only time I (and others I know) will date multiple girls is if I don't like any of them very much. If you really like them, you put them first and stop f-ing the other chicks on the side who might trainwreck you.
This girl sounds like trouble.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

I don't have much new to add. I don't think you should call her at all. All of us have done it. We get flaked on and start to wonder what is wrong with us. Then you wanna try again to be sure it's not you and then she flakes some more. Funk dat ish.

The last time you spoke she was supposed to get in touch with you and did not. Don't reward her with contact after she flaked on you.

It's time to find a new girl who will treat you like a piece of meat!

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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in practical terms... just txt her at like 2:30 am on friday or saturday when shes at her horniest and loneliest. She'll respond.

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In that situation she will likely be too busy [censored] guy #2 to answer.

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youre a pessimist and txt messages are practically free

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

I'm confused as to what you actually think of this chick. Like are you actually interested in her that much? Or are you simply open to being interested in her?

I'd keep her on your radar...throw out some bait at some point like a funny story via text or mention you're doing something with friends and she's welcome to roll.

Dan is also right when he says a booty call type text at some clearly booty call hour isn't a bad idea if that's really what you want with her.

Yugoslav

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

update?

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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Dan is also right when he says a booty call type text at some clearly booty call hour isn't a bad idea if that's really what you want with her.

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This like never works for me. I usually get an angry text the next morning like, "did you really just ask for that last night?"

Obv I need better skillz.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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update?

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Called her friday afternoon, made plans to get together today (sunday). Thought VR might be right regarding the fact that my last text probably came off as a bit hostile because she seemed happy to hear from me. But she flakes today, something about being hungover from last night, she made no effort to set another date, and just in general it sounded like a lame excuse. So I'm done with her unless she gets back in touch with me.

Spent the night instead getting wasted with a buddy who happened to get dumped today. It was a big drunken emofest. Talked to some other chicks that I'm not interested in, but nice distractions.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Predictable, [censored] her and the usual [censored]. Find another girl.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

judging by her behaviour patterns, she probably got a sex change operation. Look closer next time before sticking it in.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

I think I'd just kind of let it go. I mean be friendly with her if you see her, maybe drop her an email every once in a while etc.

That way she keeps you fresh in her mind and if things don't work out with the other guy she'll still think positvly about you.

Edit - I replied before I saw she blew you off again. I wouldn't contact her again. If she seeks you out think it over.

GL

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

That's 3 strikes

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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...if things don't work out with the other guy...

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Oh yeah forgot to mention, I think the other guy is not an issue. Could be wrong, but at this point it doesn't even really matter.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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That's 3 strikes

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Where's the third? I only counted 2. 2 is good enough though.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

If she calls/texts, tell her that you don't really want to see her again unless it's just for NSA sex, then hang up.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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That's 3 strikes

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Where's the third? I only counted 2. 2 is good enough though.

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Eh, I thought she blew you off twice last week but it looks more like 1.5. Regardless, this girl is trouble. Don't burn any bridges though, there's a decent chance you'll get to bang her again a month from now after she's become bored with whatever random dude she's banging. But obviously don't have any illusions about this girl having relationship potential ever again.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

d10 - why do you now think that the other guy is not an issue? what happened to make you think that?

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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d10 - why do you now think that the other guy is not an issue? what happened to make you think that?

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I don't feel like going back through it, but didn't a bunch of people already ax him how he knew about this other guy and he never answered? And now he somehow knows the guy is out of the picture?

Tell you what, if I ever meet a broad off the internets and we start going out seriously, I'm gonna make goddamn sure she takes her profile down from that site. I've heard enough stories from chick friends of mine about the nonstop attention they get from guys (albeit mostly weirdos) that letting her continue to receive messages and winks (gay) and stuff like that would be like dropping her off at a singles bar and trusting that nothing is going to happen.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Yeah, I was curious about that too and he never did answer that.

He 'learns' that she has another BF. No idea what that means and how he came about this knowledge in the first place seems like kind of relevant info.

Now he suddenly comes back with, "Meh, it's not an issue anymore."

Don't need every single little detail to dish out some advice of course. But dodging some of the big stuff about the whole story is going to skew the results.


Tuq - I met my GF via the internet-dating wink-wink thing.
I since have taken my profile down but I still get "we've found a match for you" e-mails to my old address. They aren't wink-wink's. They just find someone with same age/location and maybe an interest or something and try to get you back to the site.

My GF didn't even have her profile up there when she first contacted me. She dug my profile and contacted me and we met, etc etc.

So having one's profile up or not really doesn't mean THAT much imo.
If one really wanted to they could set up a new profile on the same or different site and keep on getting all the attention.

Are you going to tell her to stop IM'ing with her friends because you can't tell if she's chatting with some other dude 'with potential' or not?

The internet makes it easy to anonymously meet people and I just don't think that insisting someone take their profile down is the way to go about things. You either get to a point where you are starting to trust them or you don't.

If they did NOT take their profile down and left it right up there for everyone to see AFTER we've been going out for a few weeks and were starting to get a little serious than I would certainly ask why she still leaves it up there.
Maybe we're saying the same thing in different ways but what I'm thinking of doesn't feel the same as "making damn sure they take it down."

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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So having one's profile up or not really doesn't mean THAT much imo.

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In the example you cited, a woman (your girlfriend) contacted a guy (you). You must have had a pretty hot profile, MicroBob. Anyway, from everything I've read about online dating, that's pretty unusual, since it appears that all a chick has to do is post a profile with a halfway decent picture of herself and she gets absolutely mauled. Here are the two best RL examples I have:

- an ex-roommate posted a profile on match.com several years ago. She had dinner dates nearly every night of the week, on at least a couple of occasions she had two dates in the same night. I felt for the poor bastards because she was a psycho who was obsessed with a married journeyman minor league baseball player and she would often tell us that she wasn't interested in half of the guys but "I'm getting a free meal out of it". Ugh.

- an ex-girlfriend posted her profile after she dumped me. She too confirmed the nonstop contact she received from guys, basically it was to the point where she had to pick and choose who she responded to because there were too many to juggle.

So based off of these two examples yeah, I wouldn't want the girl I'm seeing to have a public profile on a dating site, particularly if she is the type that craves attention (well they all do, I mean more than normal).

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Tup,

MicroBob is a stud. He even got unsolicited IMs from his coworker's 12 year old daughter.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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I don't feel like going back through it, but didn't a bunch of people already ax him how he knew about this other guy and he never answered? And now he somehow knows the guy is out of the picture?


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I'm guessing that d10 has been around long enough to know that he'll get flamed incessantly if he were to reveal this information.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Hopeless,

The more he ducks the question, the more we'll speculate that he is obtaining this information via nefarious means. So he might as well give it up - even if it means totally making up something non-creepy.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Tuq - "- an ex-roommate posted a profile on match.com several years ago. She had dinner dates nearly every night of the week, on at least a couple of occasions she had two dates in the same night. I felt for the poor bastards because she was a psycho who was obsessed with a married journeyman minor league baseball player and she would often tell us that she wasn't interested in half of the guys but "I'm getting a free meal out of it". Ugh."

Wow does that sound familiar. Was this player on a AAA team?

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

NicksDad,

It was [stat page link removed by me - PM if you want it]. I'll never forget the name, it was burned into my memory by her talking about him all the time.

For some reason chicks really have it for baseball players, more so than other sports it seems. This guy was a classic playa - he knew exactly what to say to her to string her along and let her think she had a chance, like saying he was going to dump his wife (with whom he had a kid). She would read aloud to us some of the letters that he wrote her, we would try not to bust out laughing as he played her like a fiddle and she thought he was sincere.

Some time after she moved out, she randomly showed up one night and made a point about telling us that she "ran into him" - in Vegas. The creepy part was, you could tell by the way she told the story that she specifically made that trip because she knew he would be there and basically stalked him. Cree-pee.

EDIT: removed the guy's baseball stat page link in case it causes him personal problems, but IIRC when they met he told her he was separated.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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something about being hungover from last night

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isn't this code for "still sore from the guy who [censored] me raw last night?"

or is that too cynical?

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

I'm a 5'6", mostly balding, pudgy guy.
"Stud" I am not.

My profile was generally long and rambling and mostly stupid and funny. I was purposefully trying to make no sense.

I got lots of responses from various gals telling me that my profile was one of the best they had read.
Obviously it also helped me get responses from the gals that I sent winks to as well.

Tuq is correct that they typically get more than they feel like responding to and often-times will have had experiences with one or two guys who are somewhat creepy and have a high likelihood of meeting Chris Hansen in the future so I think these girls have good reason to be a tad skittish.

So being silly as I was and getting responses even from girls who practically NEVER respond ain't such a bad talent.

Even being lame and ordinary and saying, "I'm an easy-going guy who likes hanging out with good friends" is not going to help you out very much.

Anyway, in my profile I specifically remember saying how much I liked the new Vanilla Coke, mentioning that my best friend looks like Bruce Springsteen and then waxing on about how I like the color-scheme on bowling shoes.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

MicroBob,

That's pretty sweet. If I could think up an interesting profile like that I'd probably give it a flier too. Anything to differentiate me from the slobs and weirdos that my ex said she routinely came across. Plus the chick contacting you gives you Upper Hand, one that I'm sure you haven't surrendered.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Can you paste the old profile so I can ummmm.............. not use it on a dating site

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

Arrrgh, now I feel like I'm taking over d10's gal-problem thread.
Partly his fault for not responding to the previous Q's though.

tuq - The times when my 'game' is best is when I'm super-caffeinated or drunk or just feeling silly.
When with a good friend as sort of a 'wing-man' I could get in this mode.
Wing-man would laugh at how insane I am in PUA-mode while the girl would think "this guy's kind of insane but he's making me laugh so I'm not completely uninterested."

I guess the profile-writing is something like that.
But I'm really talkative and just plain weird/hyper sometimes so YMMV.

A lot of the stuff doesn't even need to be that original. Just be dumb.
Surf around other girl's/guy's profiles to find some good ones and get an idea of where the bar is set.
This means looking through some of the potentially interesting profiles of the gals whose pics aren't that great.

Once I caught on a bit more as to how the 'game' was played my profile improved...and you can always refine/edit it as you go of course.

I don't have my old profile anymore but I really never thought it was THAT great actually but it certainly got decent enough results.
But when it comes to cleverness in writing I'm certainly no El Diablo.
Some of the guys around here should be able to put together REALLY killer profiles that would be WAY better than my effort.

Obviously the key is to not take yourself very seriously. And anything that you do take yourself seriously about has to be something really silly such as the awesomeness of Vanilla Coke or how upsetting it is that nobody makes music like the Go Go's anymore (and the newish Avril Lavigne song does NOT freaking count!!)

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

The general idea I was using was probably not unlike the sillyness and generally frenetic pace in the famous internet-classic Hugh Gallagher's college-essay.

Mine was all truthful though and did not use nearly the kind of flowery language he did. But the general 'randomness' is the same.

This was his college-essay that actually did get him accepted.

http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/essay.htm


You can also just say random, probably un-true silly stuff about how your first-date might go:
"When we go to a bar there's a decent chance we will end up in a weird but fun conversation with 7 German tourists who speak very little english. Then I'll point out some guy across the way who I think looks like Cliff Claven from Cheers. You might disagree and then tell me that just because a guy has a moustache doesn't mean he looks like Cliff Claven and that you actually think he looks more like Jeff Foxworthy. I will eventually concede that he probably looks more like Jeff Foxworthy but this is only because I am being polite because we just met. I will still think he looks like Cliff Claven."

BTW, I borrowed the 7 German tourists and Cliff and Jeff look-alikes from previous dates or pick-ups of mine.

I really don't think I'm that good at this stuff and I feel really low on the cleverness scale compared with many 2+2'ers.
You guys should be able to do better than me. But even something like what I just randomly wrote in a profile should be stupid enough to get you a few winks.

Re: d10 makes a thread about a girl
 

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I don't feel like going back through it, but didn't a bunch of people already ax him how he knew about this other guy and he never answered? And now he somehow knows the guy is out of the picture?


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I'm guessing that d10 has been around long enough to know that he'll get flamed incessantly if he were to reveal this information.

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I found out about the guy in the first place through his own myspace profile, I met the girl on myspace, this dude was putting enough comments on her page and of the type that got me thinking "Who the hell is this guy?" so I looked at his profile to find out and he's got blogs about it all. I didn't mention this cause I didn't want to mention myspace, since I've posted links to my profile in the past and I'm trying to minimize the chances of turning this thread into chuddo II, and I don't think it was very important, or even all that stalkerish really. Still don't want a trainwreck but since I don't plan on seeing this girl anymore anyway I guess it would just be more of an uncomfortable situation than a trainwreck.

I'm thinking the guy is a nonissue now because (1) I thought he would be earlier after reading some of the stuff here and straightening my mind up, his blogs were a whole bunch of gushy crap about how much he likes this girl and if she didn't seem to be responding so well to that I wouldn't have thought this guy was an issue in the first place and (2) she was talking about some guy's birthday party she had to go to on saturday, that she wasn't looking forward to but she felt she had to go anyway, and I'm pretty sure it's the same guy she's talking about. That's just generally the vibe I'm getting, I know it's not much to go off of and like I said I could be wrong, but I don't care either way now.