Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.


[/ QUOTE ]

You misunderstood. The comments I made were general and about human nature, and not directed to bogey at all.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



[/ QUOTE ]

Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

[ QUOTE ]
Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


[/ QUOTE ]

Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

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I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are not alone.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



[/ QUOTE ]

Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

[ QUOTE ]
Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


[/ QUOTE ]

Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

[ QUOTE ]
I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are not alone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is all reminiscent of OP's third point, which goes to prove it right:

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3. Other people are always problematic. That's not to say that I've evolved a Sartrian view of the Other, but the flawed nature of communication is the source of most daily stress. No matter how precisely I explain myself, the explanation is dependent on the receiver of the message.


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Great post! I turned 35 last year and know what you're going through.

[ QUOTE ]
4. My family doesn't know me and that's okay. Eight years separate my closest sibling and me, with 14 years between me and my oldest sibling. We have little in common other than bloodline. I was in college while they were starting families. I was in grad school when our father died. They had their built-in support systems and I did not. I began my career, got married, bought a house, changed jobs several times, and even though I live one block away from my sister, not one person in my family knows my interests, skills, or even what I do for a living. Last Thanksgiving, one of my sisters asked how my "little job" was going. Fine, I guess, if you consider managing a $2 billion product line little.

[/ QUOTE ]

Meh. Family is overrated. I can say the exact same thing. My sister, brother, and mother don't know me at all. And it's not the big a deal.

[ QUOTE ]
5. Work ain't all that. I was a maniac in my 20's, working insane hours, eager to impress, rarely taking time off. Now I'm a believer in maxing out vacation and sick time. My wife and I are playing hooky tomorrow to go hiking, have a nice lunch, and maybe head to the local art museum in the afternoon. I take my birthday off every year now, and you should too. For the most part, we're all cogs in the wheel. Nothing of what the majority of us do amounts to much. What matters is our own experiences. Bag in sick and enjoy life!

[/ QUOTE ]Completely agree. Work sucks. Make your money and go home.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

NHLNut, Most of my long posts take a while because I want to articulate my thoughts as clearly as possible. However, some of them go quick if I'm just rifling out the words.


Okay, onto my question. This could probably be a thread of its own, but this thread should serve as well.

All right all you old people*, I have a question. You all talk about how the person you were at 21 is so different than who you are now (Fish, lookin at you in particular, but others please respond)...

I like going on vacations once or twice a year that probably run me $400-600. I thoroughly enjoy them for the relaxation and the travel aspects. I am not at all a partier (I don't even drink alcohol). In some ways, I feel like it is an amazing thing that I should do while I have the free and clear opportunity. At the same time, I'm a college student with $20,000 of debt (and growing to ~25k by the time I graduate).

I was just wondering if you guys think that I will regret having taken these vacations that may make it tougher on me in the next couple years financially, or if you think that it is generally a good idea since I so thoroughly enjoy it?

(FWIW, I have about $11,000 cash to my name and my parents 'may' be helping out with my loan debt....so it isn't like these vacations strap me for cash at the moment).


*I hope by now I've expressed that one of my greatest respects is for my elders and that I value life experience wayyyy more than your average person, so I just mean this in jest. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]

All right all you old people*,

I like going on vacations once or twice a year that probably run me $400-600. I thoroughly enjoy them for the relaxation and the travel aspects.

I was just wondering if you guys think that I will regret having taken these vacations that may make it tougher on me in the next couple years financially, or if you think that it is generally a good idea since I so thoroughly enjoy it?

(FWIW, I have about $11,000 cash to my name and my parents 'may' be helping out with my loan debt....so it isn't like these vacations strap me for cash at the moment).


*I hope by now I've expressed that one of my greatest respects is for my elders and that I value life experience wayyyy more than your average person, so I just mean this in jest. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

This old person thinks you should take more vacations. Your style of travel is frugal, you are in fine financial shape, the few extra dollars a year will hardly make a difference on your after graduation debt level. Go!

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

A few thousand is trivial over the course of a lifetime, but fun memories are pretty good at the time and to look back on later. Don't mess yourself up long term for fun, but if having a little fun means you later have to have a tight belt for a while, it's not the worst thing in the world. Heck,it's even kind of poetic.

Might be harder to get the parents to help you with your debt when it's not school-related though. Be sure they know you appreciate what they're doing and you're not just taking it as a license to blow cash.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]


This old person thinks you should take more vacations. Your style of travel is frugal, you are in fine financial shape, the few extra dollars a year will hardly make a difference on your after graduation debt level. Go!

[/ QUOTE ]


I agree. Take the vacations Solo and go have some fun in your life. You will never regret it.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Thanks gents and lady. I assumed that was the general sentiment and it's a big reason I can get over my frugality and say "screw it, I'm goin."

I'm not taking tons of wasteful trips or anything, but I mean my mom loves Vegas and so do I. This upcoming May will be the 3rd time in a little over 2 years that we've gone together. I teeter on spending the cash because it will "in theory" put me in that tight belt spot later on, but in the end I think of how people tend to say they wished they'd done more when they were younger.

Blarg, I have great parents. While my mother can't help me financially, my father and stepmother can. They know I'm responsible with my money and I'm pretty sure they would never consider me to be someone to blow money. They have tried to sort of leave me mostly independent, which is probably PART of the reason they're not helping me with money stuff too much. That said, I don't think that me vacationing will affect their view of how I spend money. They both know I'm pretty cheap because I won't even let my stepmother buy me new clothes unless they're on sale. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I definitely appreciate the feedback hyde, Blarg and katy.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Old People, Elders. You're makin me feel real good here! Now I am going to have to go out and get some of that hair coloring stuff to take the grey out of my beard! [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I would encourage taking vacations because as you get older and have more responsabilities it is harder to do some of those things. Well, actually it was always hard for me. It is one of the things I wish I had done more of when I was younger. But I was too busy working, going to school, working, getting married, working, having a kids, working getting divorced, working more and paying child support, getting married, working more and going to school again, having more kids and working even more. All right you get the idea.

As to how much I am different now than I was at 21 goes... When I was younger I was playing in bands, having fun partying all the while working my ass off still. Life was more about just me then about caring about other people. Now, ,y life is more about other people. everyone else seems to come before me and while I do not really mind that it does wear on a person sometimes. I am far more laid back then I ever was when I was young. I drink a hell of a lot less. I find myself saying things and doing things that make me realize that even though I never thought it would happen I turned into my Dad!

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!

Seriously though, I'm glad to hear what you're saying. In some ways it makes me feel like I'm ahead of the curve. I'm sure there are plenty of ways that I'm not, but it's nice to hear that the things I respect and appreciate are things that many of you didn't necessarily enjoy as much as you would now with you had. I don't know.

I think it's fascinating what you say about how your life is more about other people now. That is the type of thing that I wish I could say was absolutely true with me, but I don't think it is right now if I'm being honest. I bend over backwards and sometimes get taken advantage of trying to help and care for others. But, in reality, except for the closest people, I think it would be erroneous of me to say that I always "put others first." Certainly something I hope to improve on in the future (that and the general concept of being nice instead of mocking sometimes).

Tired rant over.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You sound like a sad & lonely person with a chip on your shoulder.

[/ QUOTE ]

? Who me or Kilgore?

[/ QUOTE ]

Kilgore

[/ QUOTE ]

Care to share with us the reason you feel this way?

Don't take my question above as a challenge, as I'm not looking to get into a beef with you about it, but I take away the opposite sentiments from his post, and I'd really like to hear why you feel as you do.

I'll be 61 soon, and every day I seem to encounter more instances that support the old saying.....

.....Youth is wasted on the young.

[/ QUOTE ]

Bitterness and regret are wasted on the old.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you ever think that what you see as "bitterness & regret" in my post might not be that at all?

Trying to explain this is somewhat like expecting someone who is proficient in algebra to fully understand quantum physics without the training.

Let me try to be a bit more clear.......

The more that I have learned as I've made my way through this world, it has become clearer to me that the less I know.

Acknowledging reality and the disappointments that come with it is not bitterness.....It is clarity.

What one does with that clarity is an entirely different story.

One of the true sorrow in life is NOT learning from one's mistakes, as we are bound to continue to repeat them.

I have learned at least one great lesson, courtesy of my wonderful wife......

...Life is about making memories.

Think about it....then talk to me.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!

Seriously though, I'm glad to hear what you're saying. In some ways it makes me feel like I'm ahead of the curve. I'm sure there are plenty of ways that I'm not, but it's nice to hear that the things I respect and appreciate are things that many of you didn't necessarily enjoy as much as you would now with you had. I don't know.

I think it's fascinating what you say about how your life is more about other people now. That is the type of thing that I wish I could say was absolutely true with me, but I don't think it is right now if I'm being honest. I bend over backwards and sometimes get taken advantage of trying to help and care for others. But, in reality, except for the closest people, I think it would be erroneous of me to say that I always "put others first." Certainly something I hope to improve on in the future (that and the general concept of being nice instead of mocking sometimes).

Tired rant over.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll throw my 2 cents in here.....

I think what fish is saying is that as he grows older that he realizes how important it is in life to have more consideration for others than for oneself.

When we're young, most of us are full of piss & vinegar, and can't get out of the blocks fast enough to make our way in the "new" world.

We readily engage in whatever 'rat-race' that happens to be in our reality, because that is our only perspective.

Hey...it is what it is, but it don't make it right!

[img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

[/ QUOTE ]

In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
Haha, no play for Mr. Gray!


[/ QUOTE ]

I hope you had a good laugh with that. What happened to that whole respect your elders thing! Damn Kids. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Solo, I have not doubt you are "ahead of the curve" with a lot of things. One thing I guess I would add would be that I think it is OK to be young and do things that young people do, like party and be a bit wild. Some of that is part of being young and only needing to really answer to yourself. Ya, a person may have to answer to mom and dad, I am talking about a wife or kids to answer to.

I guess that is what I am talking about too as far as others before me as I got older. I am really talking about other people I am responsible for. I used to only have to answer to me if I screwed up. Now it effects my family (wife and kids). Here is an example. I got into a bit of trouble a few years ago. Nothing big or really horrible but it meant that the sherrif had to come to my house and ask me to come down to the station to talk. I remember the look in my boys eyes after I got home. He was 8 at the time and really frightened. Later, I had to promise him that I would never ever do anything to make him worry like that again. I want to clairfy this this was a hunting thing and it was really just the fish cops I was in trouble with, not real cops. It was also over something I didn't even do myself but got sucked into a friends mess.

Anyway, that is really what I mean but putting others first. Kids need shoes so they get new shoes and I do not get something I want and would have bought if the kids didn't need shoes. That sort of thing.

I do also care more about other in general as well but that really wasn't what I was getting at. I have always cared about my fellow man and all of that but it wasn't really what I was shooting for.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

[/ QUOTE ]

In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

[/ QUOTE ]

The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

[ QUOTE ]
You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOO Really?

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.




[/ QUOTE ]

Yikes,

Didn't think I'd strike such a nerve here. Grunching, but Brad, you couldn't be more wrong about how I approach my job. I'm engaged while I'm here, but the second I leave I'm able to switch it off.

Re: family, I do have a chip on the shoulder about that, but my siblings have large families of their own now and that's their priority. Perhaps I didn't state it well enough, but I'm okay with this. I enjoy seeing them when I do, but I just don't expect them to give a hoot about my own endeavors. It's not a big deal, it's just how it is.

I'm very close with my wife's family, far moreso than my own. We hang out just about every other week. Her dad and I go shooting or do projects around the house or smoke some cigars. Her brother just joined the Boston police force, so he, too likes to join us at the gun club and for lunch afterward. I just think it's curious that I'm closer with them (they live 50 miles away) than I am to my own family (who live closer).

I'll read through the other replies before adding more.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Okay, made it through the thread.

"The back 9" to me signifies a milestone in my life. It's neither good nor bad, as I haven't even teed the ball up on number 10 yet, to continue with the analogy. In using the term, I'm recognizing that a part of my life is over, change is afoot, and I feel ready to embrace it. That's really what my OP was about.

The cliche that age is just a number has some truth in it, but birthdays are occasions to reflect and to readjust the ole perspective. That's what I've been working on. The Big Questions are interesting me now, not because I think I know all the answers, but because investigating them is an end in itself.

That just reminded me of a scene from Lost in Translation (random). The Scarlett Johannson character is visiting Kyoto and happens upon a pond in some garden. Stepping stones are laid out somewhat haphazardly across the water. She crosses the pond using the stones. Some are close together, but others require her to jump to reach them. They're not in a straight line. The journey across the pond is the point. The destination is less important.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

[/ QUOTE ]

In case you can't read, two different people asked me to expand on how I interpreted his post. So I did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brad,

You were bound to get an inflammatory response or two, as (quite frankly) there is a ton of assumption and value judgement in your writing here.

FWIW, that's not a problem with me, which is why I asked you to clarify.

Now....IMO, here's the real issue:

What are you going to do with the feedback that you've gotten in this string?

If you dig your heels in and simply defend your position, you have learned nothing from the exchange, and you're the worse off for it.

If you read what others have written and ASK them to explain more of why they think the way that they do, you have a shot at expanding your universe.

It's your choice....

You may think my statement above to be arrogant......so be it if you do.

[/ QUOTE ]

The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

[ QUOTE ]
You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOO Really?

[/ QUOTE ]


Wow....

There are few times when I am caught virtually speechless....

I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

[/ QUOTE ]

What 'situation' might that be?

[ QUOTE ]
All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

[/ QUOTE ]

What 'situation' might that be?

[ QUOTE ]
All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

[/ QUOTE ]

The "situation" that I was speaking about was the fact that other posters climbed right up your arse (understandable, given the tenor of your response, IMO).

Brad,

Yes, there's a lot (IMO) that you're not picking up on here. Let me try another it another way.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I will say this only one more time........

You need to re-read this whole string with an open mind, and you need to look within yourself as to why you've said what you've said.

Then perhaps you can begin to comprehend why some others (and I am NOT one of them) have been less than kind in responding to what you've written.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

[/ QUOTE ]

What 'situation' might that be?

[ QUOTE ]
All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

[/ QUOTE ]

The "situation" that I was speaking about was the fact that other posters climbed right up your arse (understandable, given the tenor of your response, IMO).

Brad,

Yes, there's a lot (IMO) that you're not picking up on here. Let me try another it another way.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I will say this only one more time........

You need to re-read this whole string with an open mind, and you need to look within yourself as to why you've said what you've said.

Then perhaps you can begin to comprehend why some others (and I am NOT one of them) have been less than kind in responding to what you've written.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't post in this forum very much...only cruise thru occasionally but I only expressed an opinion about Kilgore's post. Right, wrong, or otherwise...just an opinion. Nothing more & nothing less.

Have I offended you in some way? You keep insinuating that I should be gaining something from reading your posts...like some sort of enlightenment or something?

As for the "other posters climbed right up your arse" comment..I didn't really think anything of it. Who cares if they don't agree with me. Do you see me whining about it? It is an internet message board afterall.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

[ QUOTE ]
You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOO Really?

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing your opinion. Afterall it's a discussion forum. However I think calling someone a "condescending prick" on his birthday is kind of harsh [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] wouldn't you agree? And there was nothing in his post to even indicate he was condescending. It was just inference on your part. I also think Myrtle saying that people "climbed up your arse" is a little much. If someone said that to me it would make me mad. I don't even think it's true.

Anyway, I don't want to discourage people from offering their opinions in this forum. That's what it's here for. Just keep it civil (no calling anyone a prick [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) and explain what you mean is all that I ask. Thanks.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The OP posted something & I gave a one line opinion...my opinion...and you & Katie both ask me why. So I elaborated. Now you & a couple others pulled out your self righteous soapbox & climbed up on it. I simply expressed my opinion on KT's post. Opinion are like excuses, everybody's got one.

[ QUOTE ]
You may think my statement above to be arrogant....

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOO Really?

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing your opinion. Afterall it's a discussion forum. However I think calling someone a "condescending prick" on his birthday is kind of harsh [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] wouldn't you agree? And there was nothing in his post to even indicate he was condescending. It was just inference on your part. I also think Myrtle saying that people "climbed up your arse" is a little much. If someone said that to me it would make me mad. I don't even think it's true.

Anyway, I don't want to discourage people from offering their opinions in this forum. That's what it's here for. Just keep it civil (no calling anyone a prick [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) and explain what you mean is all that I ask. Thanks.

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Katie, I was in no way calling KT a prick. I don't even know the man. I was simply using it for emphasis to the post.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

My mistake then. I'm relieved. Sorry that I scolded you for calling the man a prick. I feel foolish now [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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You sound like a sad & lonely person with a chip on your shoulder.

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? Who me or Kilgore?

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Kilgore

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Care to share with us the reason you feel this way?

Don't take my question above as a challenge, as I'm not looking to get into a beef with you about it, but I take away the opposite sentiments from his post, and I'd really like to hear why you feel as you do.

I'll be 61 soon, and every day I seem to encounter more instances that support the old saying.....

.....Youth is wasted on the young.

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Bitterness and regret are wasted on the old.

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Did you ever think that what you see as "bitterness & regret" in my post might not be that at all?

Trying to explain this is somewhat like expecting someone who is proficient in algebra to fully understand quantum physics without the training.

Let me try to be a bit more clear.......

The more that I have learned as I've made my way through this world, it has become clearer to me that the less I know.

Acknowledging reality and the disappointments that come with it is not bitterness.....It is clarity.

What one does with that clarity is an entirely different story.

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This is very good.

Seeing the limitations in things, including yourself, doesn't mean you're mandating them or ruling out possibilities. It's just means that you're starting to make sense and have a more coherent worldview. You may draw the lines of the possible further out or closer in, but realizing their existence and importance is foundational, not a surrender. It gives you a platform from which you can choose better goals and make a better, less trivial life. And maybe not just for yourself alone.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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My mistake then. I'm relieved. Sorry that I scolded you for calling the man a prick. I feel foolish now [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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No need to apologize.....was I supposed to feel scolded? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] You need to work on that. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Well Dan, hope you enjoyed your day off.

The only thing I would say about your post is that at 35 you are definitely not starting the back nine. Maybe you feel that way now but you're not. I'm 58 and I feel like maybe just now I'm starting the back nine.

I think you will find that the years you are approaching between your age and my age will be the best years of your life.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Myrtle and Fish, thanks for the replies.

I definitely better understand what you were talking about now. It is the sort of thing that really seems common sense, but I'm guessing that I just have no real clue because I'm not in the situation where I have to buy someone else the shoes. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

KT, I think you had a great OP. It may have spurned some wild tangent discussion (mine included), but it really is, in my opinion, a testament to how intriguing your post is. We get posts like this occasionally across the forums, but they always seem to offer something new and valuable.

I hope that you're enjoying it all (and you seem to be) and I also hope that it turns out you're really only on hole number 7 or so right now. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

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Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

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Excuse me for butting in here but what you are missing is that you are being an ahole, or at least that its the way it is coming across. When you put things into a message like "NOOOOOOOOO Really" it puts the picture of an ahole right next to you. Doesn't really matter if that is what you are trying to do or not, that is the way it seems to to others.

Everyone else is trying really hard to be nice about things and not call you names (because we are civilized here in the Lounge) but I think that is what is going on.

This reminds me so much of the confrontation I had with a guy a few months ago. He thought he was being treated a certain way because he was a minority and the only reason he was having a problem was because he was being an ahole.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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I thought I was being understanding of your situation with my response, not pulling you up by the short hairs.

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What 'situation' might that be?

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All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

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Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

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The "situation" that I was speaking about was the fact that other posters climbed right up your arse (understandable, given the tenor of your response, IMO).

Brad,

Yes, there's a lot (IMO) that you're not picking up on here. Let me try another it another way.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I will say this only one more time........

You need to re-read this whole string with an open mind, and you need to look within yourself as to why you've said what you've said.

Then perhaps you can begin to comprehend why some others (and I am NOT one of them) have been less than kind in responding to what you've written.

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I don't post in this forum very much...only cruise thru occasionally but I only expressed an opinion about Kilgore's post. Right, wrong, or otherwise...just an opinion. Nothing more & nothing less.

Have I offended you in some way? You keep insinuating that I should be gaining something from reading your posts...like some sort of enlightenment or something?

As for the "other posters climbed right up your arse" comment..I didn't really think anything of it. Who cares if they don't agree with me. Do you see me whining about it? It is an internet message board afterall.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have NOT offended me in any way at all.....

But, as the Bard said.....

"Methinks thou doth protest too much"

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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All I can say is that given your response, you've got a long way to go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there something I'm not picking up on here??

[/ QUOTE ]

Excuse me for butting in here but what you are missing is that you are being an ahole, or at least that its the way it is coming across. When you put things into a message like "NOOOOOOOOO Really" it puts the picture of an ahole right next to you. Doesn't really matter if that is what you are trying to do or not, that is the way it seems to to others.

Everyone else is trying really hard to be nice about things and not call you names (because we are civilized here in the Lounge) but I think that is what is going on.

This reminds me so much of the confrontation I had with a guy a few months ago. He thought he was being treated a certain way because he was a minority and the only reason he was having a problem was because he was being an ahole.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not being an ahole as you say. For the umpteeth time, that was my take on the post. I originally tried to make it a one line response but Katy & Mrytle wanted to know more. Voila!!! I wrote more. Not intended to be attcking or calloused...simply an observation. Is there an echo in here?

I used that "NOOOOOOOOO Really" line because Myrtle was being arrogant just like he said he was. I was just agreeing with him.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

I was sort of dreading checking this thread. I posted it after work on Tuesday and regretted it instantly. In retrospect, I could have spent more time elaborating at the very least.

Yesterday was indeed a good day. It was sunny and warmish here, with a light breeze. That made for some good birdwatching on the hike. My wife ended up going to work to fix a minor catastrophe, so I invited my mom to join me for the hike and lunch.

My favorite hiking spot didn't offer many unique birds to look at, but the winter flocks are forming and foraging en masse. A gregarious bunch of cedar waxwings was fun to watch, as these noisy little birds had themselves a feast at some kind of berry tree. The berries looked almost too big for them to swallow, but they crammed the stuff down. We startled and were startled by some ground fowl, one of which was a handsome male pheasant. That got us thinking of lunch.

We settled on a smallish mom&pop place in a rural town. The food was simple and plentiful (the corned beef was difficult to contain between slices of rye) and the conversation was nice. Mom was having some computer trouble at home, so I offered to lend a hand. We shared a pot of tea with her husband when we got back (he was playing golf earlier in the day). Mom presented me with a hardbound copy of Peterson's Field Guide as a gift.

Dinner with the Warden at our local haunt was delicious. A couple of cocktails on a school night, a Celtics win (they're playing impressive basketball), and a viewing of the fun Top Fuzz flick capped off a good day.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Wonderful post, KT.

I'm a year behind you, I have a few observations from around the same milestone marker as you are at (I'm 34) I wonder if you find any of them to be true to your life?

1. Everything worthwhile takes work/time; the trick is the picking and choosing stuff that's most worth your time and actually working on it. That actually applies as much to interpersonal relationships as it does to poker.

2. I'm more self-aware/able to compensate better than when I was younger. When I'm tired/cranky, I know I to hold my tongue a little more or try to be more patient. I don't have to win every argument anymore and I know better when to (and better able to) take a break to refocus at work or playing cards, etc.

3. Time & doing what you want to do with your time should be the goal, not $$$. BUT, oftentimes $$$ enables you to have time/do what you want to do with your time. If you look at who makes the most $$$ as a competition with someone else or as a way to prove something, I think most folks end up finding it to be a pretty hollow pursuit in of itself. In the end, you'll always be the only one holding the bag that is the result of the choices you make in your life. It may be filled with $$, but you may have lost out on a lot of other cool/great/neat experiences if money is all you ever focused on.

4. You don't have to eat as much as you think you do. In general I think we just eat too much these days. A couple years ago, I started a self-experiment where I just ate about half as much as I normally did and I ate when I wasn't hungry (I'm less picky about food when I'm not hungry) There was definitely an adjustment period, but now I basically eat half what I used to eat and it's plenty (and I eat way better) I'm overall much happier for a variety of reasons resulting from this continued experiment.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

#4 is an interesting point. We get enormously habituated to things and it's pretty easy never to question it. Like, why should we eat at certain times of day whether we're hungry or not, why is a coke in the morning shocking but not so much after lunch, and why must breakfast always be some starchy thing with syrup, some sugary cereal or eggs? Lots of Asians for instance start off the day with a bowl of low-calorie soup with meat and vegetables in it -- extremely healthy and really warms up/kick-starts the body. But we can easily get so that the least questioning of our habits startles and discomfits us to an absurd degree.

Ironically, this is an area where oldth (oldth?) can have an edge on youth. After being an adult for a while, you realize that you don't have to do a lot of things you thought you had to, nor is doing the opposite necessarily interesting or any kind of statement. You don't have to conform or unconform, and can more easily start to do things simply because they make more sense. Eating habits can be tough to change or see anything wrong with, no matter how spartan or indulgent. They just stick, hard.

But actually having a number of lighter meals is an example of something well worth considering. They make one much less likely to suffer from that post-lunch crash that comes from waiting so long to eat and then stuffing yourself -- often with high carb stuff that makes you hungry for at least a little nibble of something a surprisingly short while later anyway. And eating something at whatever time of day simply because it is good for you makes a lot more sense than eating what you're "supposed" to eat just because as far as you know that's the way everybody else is doing it.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Brad.

The people are offended in the same way you would be offended if I called you a hick racist because of your location. I know nothing about you, but I pass a crude judgement on something you wrote that could be taken in several contexts, and I don't care if I am right or wrong.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

I took a liking to ollie's #4 as well (not that the rest aren't equally valuable). Blarg, I think that I sometimes forget this, even though I am often aware of it. Your example of the Asian breakfast starting with soup of meats and vegetables is something that I think "Oooooh, sounds good" when you say it. But then, I probably won't try it out anytime soon either. I definitely struggle with what I want to do with my eating habits. If I sit down and make a conscious decision, I can have will power over anything food related. I just haven't figured out what I want to do yet.

KT, I really hope the derailments didn't/doesn't discourage you too much. It doesn't take away from the meaning of your post, and I think a lot of people relate to it and appreciate what you're saying. But what do I know, I'm just a youth round these parts.

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

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KT, I really hope the derailments didn't/doesn't discourage you too much. It doesn't take away from the meaning of your post, and I think a lot of people relate to it and appreciate what you're saying. But what do I know, I'm just a youth round these parts.

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Yep, I agree and apologize for jumping on the derailment. The OP was good and I enjoyed it! Thank You!

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

[ QUOTE ]
I was sort of dreading checking this thread. I posted it after work on Tuesday and regretted it instantly. In retrospect, I could have spent more time elaborating at the very least.

Yesterday was indeed a good day. It was sunny and warmish here, with a light breeze. That made for some good birdwatching on the hike. My wife ended up going to work to fix a minor catastrophe, so I invited my mom to join me for the hike and lunch.

My favorite hiking spot didn't offer many unique birds to look at, but the winter flocks are forming and foraging en masse. A gregarious bunch of cedar waxwings was fun to watch, as these noisy little birds had themselves a feast at some kind of berry tree. The berries looked almost too big for them to swallow, but they crammed the stuff down. We startled and were startled by some ground fowl, one of which was a handsome male pheasant. That got us thinking of lunch.

We settled on a smallish mom&pop place in a rural town. The food was simple and plentiful (the corned beef was difficult to contain between slices of rye) and the conversation was nice. Mom was having some computer trouble at home, so I offered to lend a hand. We shared a pot of tea with her husband when we got back (he was playing golf earlier in the day). Mom presented me with a hardbound copy of Peterson's Field Guide as a gift.

Dinner with the Warden at our local haunt was delicious. A couple of cocktails on a school night, a Celtics win (they're playing impressive basketball), and a viewing of the fun Top Fuzz flick capped off a good day.

[/ QUOTE ]

KT,

My kind of day! Sounds thoroughly enjoyable.

Now......Don't wait for your birthday to come again before you repeat it!!

Stay well......

Myrt

Re: Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9
 

Goddammit what a depressing thread title. I turned 34.5 today. So I have six months left before I make the turn. Thanks, KT. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]