Two Plus Two Newer Archives - Advice please - Working girls under the table

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Hello, for the past several years my buddies from my regular home game and I have been wanting to play a SNG tourney with a twist: we hire two working girls to spend the night under the table, going from player to player, doing their thing from their knees. At this point we are ready to put this together, so I am trying to work out the details. Any advice on the following consideratoins would be appreciated:

1) Price. I have no idea what this will cost per working girl, we are hoping to not spend more than about $2,000 total for the services, but this might not be realistic. Just don't want to get burned in negotiations

2) blind structure. We want to play a freeze out tournament but also want to make sure that each player of 10 gets to enjoy the service at least once, and the final few should have an opportunity for seconds... I was thinking a flat initial blind structure for about the first hour, as 2 girls will need to provide service to 5 guys each, and if you give each guy 10-15 minutes, that works about to about an hour total for one round. Blinds would have to go up quite fast after that to meet our budget for the girls, who we expect to pay by the hour. But that's as far as I've really worked it out at this point.

I realize we could just let knocked out players stay and enjoy their investment, but that takes the fun out of it and really defeats the whole purpose. If you get knocked out, you leave, right there. Gambool.

3) Optimal buy in amount? We need to give people motivation to actually take risks and win pots, so the money at the end has to outweigh the immediate returns being provided from under the table. $1,000 each, on top of the pro rated share of the cost of the guests? Pay 50-30-20% to 1st - 3rd?

4) Any other angles we could try. My dad had an idea where you'd have a bounty on each player, and if you knock a player out while he is being serviced, he gets the obvious physical discomfort from having to leave right away, but also has to give up his bounty. If he wins or his knocked out while 'dry', he would keep his bounty. If we concurrently outlaw looking under the table, this could get interesting, as it would be in your favor to conceal that you are one of the lucky ones at a given time, in order to prevent people from taking shots at you. Imagine trying to bluff the strength of your hand AND your status under the table at the same time.

Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

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sure this is a level, but to answer seriously

1) You never say how many guys, but I assume it's one table of 9. Your run of the mill call girl on craigslist or eros will run you about 250 for a BJ, altho, I would think you could easily get a volume discount here and probably pay 100-150 per pop as it were. If she's a crack ho or ugly street walker than even better and you could get it for 40 bucks a (ahem) head. But let's assume you care about some semblence of appearances despite the fact that the women are out of sight. 125X9=1125 which is way under your budget, but I think your main problem is finding escorts willing to service a group of men as many wont feel safe. Your best bet is to check the yellow pages for an escort service.

2) Forget being a nice host- I say you should get serviced before the guests arrive and watch how friggin nitty and tight everyone is until they pop their nut. Raise every hand and go nuts accumulating chips from players who dont want to get involced in fear of busting before they get their knob polished.

3) sounds fine, I think you should add that the winner gets sloppy seconds

4) forget bounties, just make sure everyone wears galoshes