Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Oh, I agree entirely. Even if I had an exceptionally grounded 8 year old, I wouldn't want her to do this. It sounds kind of awful to say this, but she's not going to be in the environment I want her to be in, and she's not likely to meet people with the values I want to foster.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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I'd check out some of the posts bye Belok in here:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=6#Post11595726

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Yeah Belok's posts were a little disturbing. I would definitely read the thread Wookie linked before making a decision.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Hopefully she can find a sport or two that she likes. Much better in every way. This beauty pagent thing is the last thing I would have my attractive 8 year-old doing.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

For those who wonder, she plays softball and soccer, and sometimes cheerleader.

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I'd check out some of the posts bye Belok in here:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=6#Post11595726

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You guys were right, Belok's posts in that thread do pack a wallop.

My daughter does have a slender build, but she probably would still need to lose a few lbs if she wanted to "compete". What's the freaking point of that?

I'm off work the next couple of days. She and I will be having a long talk about this topic.

And I'll ask her why she thinks that most US-Americans can't find the US on a map.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

She'd need to lose weight?!?

I didn't realise it was taken so seriously by organisers, I thought it would be akin to doing a school play or similar.

If i were in your place, I wouldn't even entertain the idea and I'd explain why to her.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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Parents can also see things long-term that are no more than a passing notion(which seems life and death at the time) to their kids. They can then push their kids and the kids can wind up very unhappy while telling their parents they're happy, because they can sense it's something they want to hear. So you get a kid being the parent to their nutty real parents.

Do you want your kid to chance facing that responsibility? I can't picture myself as a kid being strong enough to disappoint my mom if she had her ego invested in me.

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I agree with Blarg. It seems that many parents push their kids to continue an activity long after the initial impulse is gone. It starts with the parent thinking they don't want their kid to be quitter. It continues with the parent thinking the kid has "potential" or they see considerable improvement and then they become overly invested. You see this with the stage moms and dads.


I didn't want to go off on a rant about this yesterday but I woke up in a funny mood this morning and think I will.

This is not directed at you, OP. I'm just tired of all the moms and dads and people in general that I see who place such emphasis on girls being beautiful and skinny. It's just like VR said, too many really pretty girls grow up in life thinking that's all they have to offer and also looking down their noses at the rest of us who aren't super beautiful and perfect. In my opinion our society is shallow and vain. I'm pretty sick of it. I blame everyone including myself. We all love to look at beautiful people and try to put our best foot forward, but why burden little kids with this? I think these beauty pageants send the wrong message to little girls.

I'm not one of those people who puts a lot of value in the concept of self-esteem, especially where adults are concerned. I think it's annoying and overplayed for the most part. But asking a little child who is not obese to lose weight so she can stand a chance in a beauty contest seems really sad and puts that little kid in a precarious position don't you think?

Ok, sorry, couldn't help myself [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Well, Katy, there's another side to that coin. It's not only that beautiful girls will grow up and become dumb bimbos who dream only of becoming trophy wives. The fact of the matter is that beautiful women (and men) fare better in the workplace, whether we'd like to admit it or not. I see this phenomenon almost every day. I'm a grad student in a med center. It is incredibly easy to spot the med students versus the grad students, even when the former are not wearing stethoscopes. The med students are consistently better dressed and better looking, both the men and the women. Is this sad? I dunno, but it seems to be the way the world works. I also don't think that this selection process starts out only once people are out of college. How many ugly high school football quarterbacks do you know? The stereotype is that they're heartthrobs, and that's not solely based on their status.

It's a cold, cruel fact of life that more doors will generally be open for you are good looking than if you're not. That's not to say you can't get there if you're ugly, but you often have an uphill battle. I think there can be a balance struck with getting your kids to take care of their bodies and their appearances without making their looks everything they have in life.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

Health and looks are somewhat related, but not all that much.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

IMO there is absolutely no upside to this. All it will do is expose her to some of the least meaningful elements of American culture. If she wins she'll just learn to be manipulativ eiwht her looks. If she stays in the business she'll grow up surrounded by a bunch of shallow models and creepy adults.

Re: Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants
 

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It's a cold, cruel fact of life that more doors will generally be open for you are good looking than if you're not. That's not to say you can't get there if you're ugly, but you often have an uphill battle. I think there can be a balance struck with getting your kids to take care of their bodies and their appearances without making their looks everything they have in life.

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I agree with much of what you wrote. Yes doors open for the good looking people. Without question. Who doesn't like a bright clever good-looking person? Hell we all do. I do. I admire them.

It's just something that BigPoppa and VR said that really rang true. "Too many pretty girls grow up thinkiing that's all they have to offer." And if they aren't beautiful or if their nose is weird or their eyes are too close together then what? Then they feel like crap. They feel they are worthless or sub-par for sure. It's really sad. And when they get to college they start thinking about major plastic surgery.

These forums point out a really strange phenomenon. Pretty girls who need continuing affirmation that they are indeed pretty (and from total strangers too). Now why is that? If you are a beautiful girl why on earth do you need to post your pic to hear how beautiful you are? Don't you know that you are? If you're a beautiful little girl then why do you need to enter a beauty pageant? Don't your parents know you are beautiful? Must you be the MOST beautiful? Or is it that the parents get off on hearing how gorgeous and talented their little girl is.