Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

-grunch-

It seems like you have a good mix of interests and you get something out of your work.

My advice:

Don't rush to the next thing. Or, at least, take time to enjoy the journey. We go on vacation in August, and my wife insists that we don't 'wish away' the rest of the summer by looking ahead to August.

Don't hesitate to try any positive thing that piques your interest. I think life IS about experiences and a full life is one full of different experiences. The last thing you want to do is to look back and say, Dammit, why didn't I do this or that.

Do work you enjoy and that rewards you, but don't get so emotionally involved with it that it affects your other facets of life. When I'm off work, I'm OFF work- I rarely think about it and I refuse to let it bleed into my family life or recreation.

My dad recently told me that he gets up every day and says 'this is MY day.' Even if it's a crappy day, you own it and you should try to make the most out of it.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

What really [censored] with my head, is the fact that unless I havent found my talent, there will be nothing in life, that I can say "Im the best at XXXXX", and this makes me not want to pursue any avenue where I can pretty much predict that I will never be world class. An example is golf, I love playing it, but everytime i practice etc, I think "wtf am I doing, what a waste of time, Im never going to be pro what is the point?".

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
What really [censored] with my head, is the fact that unless I havent found my talent, there will be nothing in life, that I can say "Im the best at XXXXX", and this makes me not want to pursue any avenue where I can pretty much predict that I will never be world class. An example is golf, I love playing it, but everytime i practice etc, I think "wtf am I doing, what a waste of time, Im never going to be pro what is the point?".

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It is impossible to be the best in the world at something. The people who we can agree are the best at something probably number under a hundred. For all intents and purposes, that's zero.

I have been very good at a couple of things (of minimal use in the real world, but for the record I've been #1 in a handful of computer games), and it's impossible to stay there. Nobody has done it for more than a few months, except perhaps one or two in specific games.

Trying to be #1 is pointless. Being the best you can is all that matters, so long as you derive enjoyment from the process or from being as good as you can be. Of course, it helps if that also makes you successful, but you're smart and will find a way to do that.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What really [censored] with my head, is the fact that unless I havent found my talent, there will be nothing in life, that I can say "Im the best at XXXXX", and this makes me not want to pursue any avenue where I can pretty much predict that I will never be world class. An example is golf, I love playing it, but everytime i practice etc, I think "wtf am I doing, what a waste of time, Im never going to be pro what is the point?".

[/ QUOTE ]
It is impossible to be the best in the world at something. The people who we can agree are the best at something probably number under a hundred. For all intents and purposes, that's zero.

I have been very good at a couple of things (of minimal use in the real world, but for the record I've been #1 in a handful of computer games), and it's impossible to stay there. Nobody has done it for more than a few months, except perhaps one or two in specific games.

Trying to be #1 is pointless. Being the best you can is all that matters, so long as you derive enjoyment from the process or from being as good as you can be. Of course, it helps if that also makes you successful, but you're smart and will find a way to do that.

[/ QUOTE ]

One counter to this point is just finding some totally obscure and pointless niche...like being the world expert on 12th century Turkish history or something. Academics do this -finding something ridiculously specialized and then devoting all your time and energy to being the best- all the time.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

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GW, When you write these posts it always sounds like you don't know/understand what you're all about. Some of that is figuring out what doesn't concern you and what you can ignore. Once you figure that out everything is easier.

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I agree with this. However, I empathize with Gildwulf quite a bit. Identifying what it is that you want/what you're about is a pretty nontrivial task. I'm in the midst of some upheaval on that front. For a long time, like many nerds I harbored a desire to try and become a professor. It's become clear to me over the last year or two that I lack the requisite love and monomania to make the sacrifices that that will demand. I've yet to figure out what's going to come next, and I don't really have an idea about what I'd want, at least in that realm. (EDIT: In other words, stay out of grad school, kids.)

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

Life is like poker. You only get a certain amount of time to act so just pick the best line and keep playing. Change if results haven't been so good, but at 22 your sample size is small, relax.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am struggling right now with what I'm sure anyone who is a rational and intelligent person struggles with at sometime in their life. Yeti touched on this in another thread about happiness but I want to take it a step further. Basically, it is dealing with the frustating consquences of this basic truth: that we are all (either subconsciously or consciously) trying to find meaning in our lives when existing is inherently meaningless and filled with arbitrary and essentially trivial day-to-day activities.

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I guess my first comment is that I don't necessarily agree with your premise. I don't think everyone is consciously or subconsciously searching for meaning. Some people simply "are" and experience, and are content that way.

The concept is different yet similar to the idea in this poem-let by DH Lawrence:

"Self Pity"
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

We could write a similar poem:

"Search For Meaning"
I never saw a wild thing
search for meaning.
A giant tortoise might live 3 human lifetimes
and yet never once ask itself why it was here.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

i think this is called the human condition. i don't think you will find any answers, only distractions. people just keep distracting themselves until they die.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

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Trying to be #1 is pointless. Being the best you can is all that matters

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Trying to be #1 with the intention of being #1 is pointless for most people. Trying to be #1 with the idea that it's the best vector to be the best you can be makes all kinds of sense.

Re: Dealing with the \'and then?\' problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
GW, When you write these posts it always sounds like you don't know/understand what you're all about. Some of that is figuring out what doesn't concern you and what you can ignore. Once you figure that out everything is easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this. However, I empathize with Gildwulf quite a bit. Identifying what it is that you want/what you're about is a pretty nontrivial task. I'm in the midst of some upheaval on that front. For a long time, like many nerds I harbored a desire to try and become a professor. It's become clear to me over the last year or two that I lack the requisite love and monomania to make the sacrifices that that will demand. I've yet to figure out what's going to come next, and I don't really have an idea about what I'd want, at least in that realm. (EDIT: In other words, stay out of grad school, kids.)

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Yeah, but only a very very small percent of people are going to be lucky enough to have that thing that they pursue and that they really love. Everyone else seems stuck just jumping from one thing or another. I mean, maybe you find out that you love fixing cars or writing novels, but most likely you are never going to find a true calling.