Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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I have a lot to say to this post, so I'll respond later when I have more time. However, she made you get a Bar Mitzvah so that you would be considered a jew. If you don't have a bar mitzvah you are not jewish.

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just wanted to say this is incorrect. i have no idea where you are getting this from.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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I haven't been to a Synagogue, but Church was pretty boring to me when I was a kid. But going back there in my old age has always been comforting.

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At least its in a language you understand.

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You mean latin?

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

I think when your mom said she wanted to give you a sense of "community," she meant some insight into your background/religion in case you were ever curious about it, or, for that matter, if you ever wanted to rebel against it. It's just standard Jewish-mom behavior, and if she became interested in the substance of Judaism during her conversion, her over-zealousness doesn't seem surprising to me.

Are you sure her version of "half-kosher" involves occasionally eating pork? Because that is indeed weird. The people I know who half-observe Kashrut law are usually pretty consistent in terms of the types of animals they will and won't eat, but less picky than strict-Kosher people about where they eat it and things like that.

In any event, it sounds like you have major issues with your mom.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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She was part of a group of subversive synagoguers that got our rabbi ousted for marrying a lesbian couple under a chuppah.

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Conservative Jews are not nearly as homophobic as conservative Christrains, right? or is it about equal- or even more so?

Most Jews I know are gay (homosexual)!- so I guess this is what warps my perspective.

Edit: I know about 2 (live in 99 % white christian area)

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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I think when your mom said she wanted to give you a sense of "community," she meant some insight into your background/religion in case you were ever curious about it, or, for that matter, if you ever wanted to rebel against it. It's just standard Jewish-mom behavior, and if she became interested in the substance of Judaism during her conversion, her over-zealousness doesn't seem surprising to me.

Are you sure her version of "half-kosher" involves occasionally eating pork? Because that is indeed weird. The people I know who half-observe Kashrut law are usually pretty consistent in terms of the types of animals they will and won't eat, but less picky than strict-Kosher people about where they eat it and things like that.

In any event, it sounds like you have major issues with your mom.

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I'll admit I have issues with her, but nothing major (the things listed in this thread are, in the scheme of things,not a big deal). We get along very well on a day to day basis, and I'm not really looking to mend any burnt bridges because there aren't any that need to be mended. I love my mom deeply and not much could change that.

Yes, I have witnessed her eat pork after giving the excuse, "I'll just have a little."

You could be right about the sense of community thing. Again, I don't have much beef with the roots of Judaism itself, but the manner and environment it was presented to me in was souring.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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She was part of a group of subversive synagoguers that got our rabbi ousted for marrying a lesbian couple under a chuppah.

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Conservative Jews are not nearly as homophobic as conservative Christrains, right? or is it about equal- or even more so?

Most Jews I know are gay (homosexual)!- so I guess this is what warps my perspective.

Edit: I know about 2 (live in 99 % white christian area)

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I'm not sure. She also has strong personal problems with one of the women, so I'm sure that played some role in her motives. Still, that was not an isolated incident and has shown other signs of homophobia.

EDIT: Misread your statement. Yes, conservative Christians are generally faaaar more homophobic than cons Jews.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

I suggest you read Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches: The Riddles of Culture, by Marvin Harris. This is an anthropological look at various culture's customs and taboos. It gives a logical explanation as to how the dietary laws came to being. More importantly, it explains why maintaining those laws is still logical even though the original reasons no longer exist.

Another book you may find helpful is Jews, God and History, by Max I. Dimont. This may help you put your culture's various rituals and traditions in perspective. And hopefully give you an idea as to how important they are.

As far as your mother keeping kosher, I imagine it's pretty hard for a convert to do. On the other hand, I have Jewish and Muslim friends that get nauseous just talking about eating pork.

Lastly, (this is not a rhetorical or smart ass question) how do you think your mother should have raised you in regards to your Jewish heritage?

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

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Are you sure her version of "half-kosher" involves occasionally eating pork? Because that is indeed weird.

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I imagine this is more like the people that say they are vegetarian but still eat chicken and fish. They like the idea and philosophy of it all, but can't quite bring themselves to go all the way throught it.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

I'm not sure anyone can truly explain dietary restiction laws in any sensible manner. There are many theories, most of them self-serving, and I even have a few ideas of my own that I've adopted from various places about why the laws exist, but even I'll admit my ideas fit into my own ideology and may bear no resemblence to reality.

Re: My Mom and Judaism
 

It's funny how similar OP's situation is to mine. This seems to be a very common experience with us ex-Jews, and since I was talking with my mother about this about a week ago, I figure I will share my experience another time. I'm tired now.