Two Plus Two Newer Archives - Inspired by Toss:My Las Vegas TR-WSOP last year

Trip Report Part 2:

So I sit in my chair, corona in hand, eyes fixated on the skinny blonde who has the ability to do splits while spinning on her head. Color me enamored. After she returns to normal standing position I make it rain like Adam Pac-Man Jones sans c-notes and handguns. She comes over and I ask her for a dance. She explains that she has to go to another stage first but she will come right over after. Fantastic. After waiting in sheer excitement for a couple minutes I realize that I need to go freshen up for my fly young lady. I head to the bathroom. The Spearmint Rhino has a bathroom that offers so many colognes it rivals most high end Neiman Marcus stores. I splash on a little Burberry simply because I hear Jay Z rap about it in his songs. So of course it clearly must be money. Toss the bathroom guy a 5 spot and go about my way. I sit down in my seat to find my dear friend Assani chatting it up with a fine young Asian tart, when all of a sudden my hot young buxom blonde sits down in my lap. One could say I was delighted to have her in my lap, but I will say mildly happy. I decide to run with the 3 songs for 100 because it was all I knew about at the time. She said ok and off we went.

Once again I must preface that I had never been to a Las Vegas strip club. In the small amount of time that I was indeed in the Rhino I did learn that just about anything goes here. You can touch just about anywhere except what the panties cover (beat). Regardless, up until this point I was used to the no touching rule so I highly doubted I would be touching Chandiss at all.

We got to the low roller room and I immediately didn’t like it. It was crowded, really crowded in fact. If the low roller room was a hotel, this one had zippo vacancy my friends. And as much as I like looking at naked ladies, I don’t like looking at naked ladies grinding on dudes other then me so I wasn’t really to happy. Regardless, Chandiss seemed to remove the room and it seemed like just the two of us. It was a good dance. We talked. She asked what I did, where I was from. I lied and said I was from Vegas. I dunno it just sounded better. Better to be a local then a dumb tourist in town for the WSOP. She told me she was from Denver and other stupid crap I don’t remember. I was just concentrating on the important stuff. Chandiss seemed very sexy to me, and I ended up getting another set of 3 from her. Slowly but surely, I was very much becoming a big fan of Chandiss and the overall vibe that is the Rhino. As the last dance ended I politely told Chandiss to hit me up later and I will prolly get another dance from her. She explained that she had to go to stage again, but she planned on coming to see me anyway right after. Wow, how about that. Color my pants and me happy. I was no longer mildly impressed to say the least.

I return to find my seat and no Assani or Asian girl. Well ok, this is awkward. All alone at the strip club with no one to talk to. It turns out it wasn’t that awkward at all. I just ordered another Corona and checked out the goods until Chandiss came back. Dirty old man in making I am.

A couple minutes later Chandiss again sat down in my lap. Hooray naked blondes! I pondered with her where my dear friend Assani was. She asked me if he was a poker player like me, which I exclaimed indeed he be. She of course told me he must be in the VIP room. VIP room? What is the VIP room you speak of??? 200 for the ½ hour 400 for the hour and you have to buy drinks. VIP, well I’m sold. Let’s do it. So off to the ½ hour room we went. I offered an hour, but she said the ½ room offered more privacy.

The ½ hour room was better. You walk through these glass doors, meet the big bouncer who has the ability to kick your ass. They log your time and you go sit. Each stripper and idiot has a little cubicle. Its not totally secluded, but it’s much better then the $100 dollar room. The drinks were ridiculously over priced. Something like $12 dollars a drink. Chandiss ordered water and that [censored] was still $12 bucks. The sick part about it was the bar, which sold me the same drinks for like 50% cheaper, was less then two seconds away. I guess you have that 50% markup with the waitress. I didn’t care, I had a naked lady and she was about gaaaarind baby. Let’s get it on.

Well, after that talking/drinking, I felt more comfortable with Chandiss and I was running my hands all over her body. She would periodically take my hands and have me grope her chest. And about 3 times we full on French kissed. It was very nice. To be honest it was the most intimate strip club experience I’ve ever had. She told me that I smelled good and that my hands smelled like soap and that I had no idea how many dirty guys she came in contact with. Whatever, I just kissed you. Ship, holla. At the point I realized how much a strip club can turn me a college educated intelligent young adult into a 14-year-old high school freshman. Whatever I don’t care.

At the end of the hour I decided to go find Assani. He indeed was back in his seat alone drinking another corona. He asked if we could leave and I said sure. He then politely boasted to me that he got that hot Asian girls number. As I was giving Chandiss a hug good bye, I realized I could not let my poker-playing friend out do me, so with a bulge in my pants and an empty wallet, I swallowed my dignity and asked for her digits…She gave them to me. Ship, holla. She then went on to tell me that I should definitely call her tomorrow cause she had to work Thursday. We could get lunch or something. She said this at least three times as we were leaving. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I left. At this point in my WSOP trip, I was up $1200 in profits ($2,000poker-$800rhino=$1,200) and one strippers digits. I was one happy camper.

As we drove home we exchanged details of the night. Turns out Assani really hit it off with this Asian girl. Her name was Vivian. He was gonna give her a call in a couple days he said. He didn’t want to seem too interested. As we were getting out of the car I asked him why he was by himself when I came out. He replied oh, I didn’t want to spend anymore money. So I asked him what he told the strippers when they came up to him to ask for dances…

“I have no money.”

I will write part 3 tomorrow or so, maybe even later tonight. Who knows. Off to subway!