Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

When you bust someone, (Preferably in a tourney, but it works in cash too - particularly if they're not gonna rebuy.) and they start trashing you, a la 'I can't believe you called with A9, you fish!' or whatever. The best reply, in a normal, quietish voice, and not directed at the offender....

"I hear dead people."

Guarenteed to get the whole table laughing at the guy.

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

Haha, that's fabulous. Here on the coast, we don't have the luxury of a cardroom in every building, so we have to allow players to get away with a lot more.

A friend who dealt at a now-blowed-up casino says his old brush used to say this about players who caused problems: "If they don't want to play poker, fk 'em, deal around them."

And, y'know, dealing somebody out for a hand REALLY works. I've only done it twice, because it's so completely against our rules, and I get a lot of crap from above (with all sorts of slippery slope arguments about why we can't do that with notoriously problem players getting out of line again)... but I tell ya, denying an addict his fix is a wonderful way to simply, efficiently, and quietly calm a situation. That is, if the room backs the dealers making that judgment. It works a lot better than, "don't do that, or I'll tell you not to do that again." Our players know we're powerless and that the floor is unwilling to kick them out.

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

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If my sister had a dick she'd be my brother.

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Love it!! I'll have to remember that one. Even if used against me, I'd love it. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates a good whiticism and I can see the morons complainng to management. Stupid people don't like it when their stupidity is made obvious.

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

If my sister had a dick she'd be my brother.

[/ QUOTE ]

Love it!! I'll have to remember that one. Even if used against me, I'd love it.

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I always heard it as "If my Aunt had balls, she'd be my Uncle."

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

If my sister had a dick she'd be my brother.

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Love it!! I'll have to remember that one. Even if used against me, I'd love it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always heard it as "If my Aunt had balls, she'd be my Uncle."

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Yes, thank you.

Saw a t-shirt the other day that read "I am that man from Nantucket."

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

Here's one the players can use:

To the whiny guy at the table who's been complaining about how he can't get any cards, he can't win a hand, the flop never hits him, he's losing so much money etc, etc...


'I'll get you a phone so you can call someone who cares.'

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

[ QUOTE ]
Here's one the players can use:

To the whiny guy at the table who's been complaining about how he can't get any cards, he can't win a hand, the flop never hits him, he's losing so much money etc, etc...


'I'll get you a phone so you can call someone who cares.'

[/ QUOTE ]

Howard in the old days of pay phones we'd toss the guy a dime and tell him to call someone who cares. With inflation the joke has now become too expensive. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Jimbo

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

Totally random here....

BEST dealer I have EVER had was at the Borgat in AC. I don't remember his name...someone may know it. Black guy with a messed up thumb...he makes jokes about it a lot.

Anyway, EXCELLENT dealer, follows the action to perfection and his personality has to net him TONS in tokes. Every time I have him as a dealer he gets tips for his jokes as well as his dealing.

Someone help me out with his name...

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

[ QUOTE ]
Anyway, right after that and right before I had the floor come over to explain it to him, he said one of those "I've been playing longer than you've been alive" type of comments, which I ignored. Five minutes too late, I thought: "I'd have thought in all that time you'd have learned to behave like an adult."

The table also didn't like this guy, so I think that'd have helped a lot (or at least gotten me a talking-to by my boss), so I gotta remember it for the future. Anyone have other situations/comments they've seen or would like to? How well did it work to actually diffuse the situation?

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I think you're just screwed here. From your other posts I think you deal on the Gulf Coast? Old southern white guys just don't respond well to "whippersnappers" telling them what to do, right or wrong. I don't think I've ever seen this situation work out well from a player perspective since the old guys who blow this kind of smoke are always donators. From a dealer perspective, I suppose getting the guy 86'd might work if the players don't get pissed about you running off a donator.

Hopefully the players carry the dipstick's toke weight when you run into this BS through no fault of your own. I know the BR and NO regulars do at 2/5 and above.

Re: Funny and/or Effective Quips to Problem Players
 

Forever ago I made a similar post in the Psychology forum, requesting smartass comebacks to table coaches. I got some decent responses but the thread got hijacked, so I summed up the decent responses in another thread. Took some digging but I found it in the archives:

Shutting up the table coach summary