Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

poin-
whats left to say man. If there is anything I or anyone else can do, let us know. We are with you and your wife in thoughts and prayers.
much love
BW

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

I just found this from Pokey's thread in SSNL, since I don't read OOT much.

I'm so sorry, man. I have no useful advice to give you, and I'm not a religious man, but my thoughts and sympathies go out to you.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

I replied via pm before reading the responses. I just want to say that seeing everyone's responses here has been wonderful. You learn a lot about the people that you saw around the boards in this thread.

Last night, I was in a coffee shop and I happened to talk to some guy that walked in there. He was a non-baptised Sihk and we had a pretty cool conversation for maybe 5 - 10 min. He was a very sincere, very friendly man.

When he left, he introduced himself as Gian (a Punjabi name). He explained, "Gian: It means knowledge (of which I have none)."

I don't know, I'm pretty pissed at people sometimes, but I really love them too. There's a lot of beauty in this thread.

There's no life without pain, but there are definitely degrees of pain, and I've never gone through anything like that. I'm really sorry.

I'm not sure what the official term is, but I'll say that there's a man named Ram Dass who is a spiritual guide for a lot of people. A lot of people come to him and say that their mourning and they want to know what to do to alleviate the grief. His response to this is that you should "just keep grieving".

He's learned a lot through suffering, and these things need to take their natural course. When it's "over" (I think, meaning that you return to something close to your previous life) I'm sure you'll know.

Ram Dass suffered a stroke that left him I think paralyzed. He's in a wheelchair now, he can't drive a sports car or do tai chi, like he used to. He was a very very spiritual, very wise man at the time of his stoke, and even he, for a brief time, lost faith in God. This is someone who deals with the pain and fear of dying people quite regularly.

So I guess what I'm getting at here is that if you lose faith at this time, you're not a failure. I don't even think that it's something that you should fixate on if it starts to slip, unless you personally feel the need to do that.

---

lol, on a more mundane level, if you decide to get hammered do your best to stay away from people that you may feel embarassed about the next day. General rule of thumb: guy friends = good, mother in law = bad. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Take care, you're in my thoughts.
--Dave.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

Long time lurker here with two young kids who just had to post. Your story has moved me more than anything I have ever read. I am truly sorry for your loss.

The eloquence of your OP is breathtaking and heartbreaking but it also shows you do have the strength to make it through this. I cannot begin to imagine that I would be able to cope with a fraction of your pain.

To you and your wife - my thoughts are with you.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

I read this thread yesterday and didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. I still don't. It's clear that you love your son very much. I'm sorry for your loss and wish only the best for you and your wife.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

[ QUOTE ]
This post made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss.


[/ QUOTE ]

I am in awe of the strength that posting this must have taken. I truly hope that you find a way to deal with this tragic loss.

I would like to post more, but I am lost for words.

Sorry.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

Man, I am so sorry. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

Tough one dude. I've been there.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

My condolences to both your wife and you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with everyone. It hopefully will make everyone take time to reflect on what is truly important in life.

Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
 

Thankyou so much for posting. We all know how much of a terribly sad time this must be in your life. You have made me realise what women (and men) go through when they suffer miscarriage - something I never understood. You've touched everyone that reads these forums.

My sincerest condolences.