Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

that is the saddest thing i've ever read [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

less sad posts... more hot cousin posts.... honestly what kind of skanky ho jus starts grabbin her cousins dick

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

you can ALWAYS get a loan and a job.Also I confess I wrote one of the earlier confessions when I was drunk and it's a lie.AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

who's the cousin one... last name payne

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Why in God's name would you NOT SIGN YOUR NAME to the "drunken redneck brawl" story?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

quite sad indeed, you'll get back on top

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Whoever wrote that last one, PLEASE get some help. Talk to someone, anyone about what you're feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your girlfriend/family/friends, call an anonymous hotline.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Money is not worth killing yourself over. Talk to someone you trust and get help.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
Today I almost committed suicide.
I'm still broke and in the red in my checking account, and I have no idea what i'm going to do
with my money situation, since given my situation I hardly doubt I can get a loan from an
institution, and I won't ask for this kind of money from friends/family, neither of which probably have a few thousand just sitting around. I'll probably go through with this soon.

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't know how seriously to take these things. However, for [censored] sake, you've listed nothing tangible that comes anywhere near needing to kill yourself. You've got friends, family, and a girlfriend. Get over the minor embarassment of admitting you need help and say something to them. Obviously your depression is the major factor here, and once you deal with that everything else will be fine. Half the country is a few thousand dollars in debt, and probably 10-20% should be or are in therapy.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Today I almost committed suicide.
I'm still broke and in the red in my checking account, and I have no idea what i'm going to do
with my money situation, since given my situation I hardly doubt I can get a loan from an
institution, and I won't ask for this kind of money from friends/family, neither of which probably have a few thousand just sitting around. I'll probably go through with this soon.

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't know how seriously to take these things. However, for [censored] sake, you've listed nothing tangible that comes anywhere near needing to kill yourself..

[/ QUOTE ]

So what is something worth killing yourself over? Alot of very succesful people commit suicide everyday. It's a mental health issue and can affect anyone,it does not discriminate.

Note:Im pretty sure this is my first ever serious post.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Whoever wrote that last one, PLEASE get some help. Talk to someone, anyone about what you're feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your girlfriend/family/friends, call an anonymous hotline.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Today I almost committed suicide.
I'm still broke and in the red in my checking account, and I have no idea what i'm going to do
with my money situation, since given my situation I hardly doubt I can get a loan from an
institution, and I won't ask for this kind of money from friends/family, neither of which probably have a few thousand just sitting around. I'll probably go through with this soon.

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't know how seriously to take these things. However, for [censored] sake, you've listed nothing tangible that comes anywhere near needing to kill yourself. You've got friends, family, and a girlfriend. Get over the minor embarassment of admitting you need help and say something to them. Obviously your depression is the major factor here, and once you deal with that everything else will be fine. Half the country is a few thousand dollars in debt, and probably 10-20% should be or are in therapy.

[/ QUOTE ]

killing yourself is not a rational decision, don't treat it as such. depression this bad needs to be treated as a disease, not with why can't you just get over it attitude. you'll never understand how this guy feels or his thought processes... well, at least hopefully.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

The good news is that wasn't the last one. The bad news is that they were all out of apple pie

[ QUOTE ]

Two part story...

My parents divorced when I was about 10-11. My dad got married a year or two afterwards, but my parents remained on good terms. The divorce was done without any legal custody battle and with no hassles. My parents just figured it was for the best. One day, when I'm like 13, my dad comes over to our apartment. He's dropping by to give me a stick of RAM or something. Anyway, he stays for coffee, all three of us talk and stuff. I have no idea how this next part happened, but it did. My dad and mom are both in the bathroom (which is tiny, we lived in a 2 1/2). I'm in the room that the bathroom door is. I'm playing guitar at the computer, and I hear something. Goes like, 'uh, uh, uh.' They're being really quiet, but I still can't [censored] believe it. I hear someone humping up against the bathroom door. Yeah, my parents are having sex in the bathroom next to me. I leave the house and go outside, I'm in disbelief.

Part two.

I don't speak to either of my parents about the incident, I don't even mention why I went out, neither does my mother (I come home at like 11pm, fairly early, even for a 13 year old). About a week later, my mom is asleep in the other room, and I'm horny as hell. But the internet is out. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do (back then, wanking wasn't good enough for me). So I find that the spot between the two couch pillows is quite tight and comfortable. I start pumping my couch, and just as I'm about to blow my load when I hear my mom about to open the door. I pull a cover over myself but she catches sight of my buttcheecks and looks at me weird.

So I say, 'What? I should've done it in the bathroom, right?'

She looks at me, grabs her coat, and comes back at 11pm. We've never spoken about it since.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

My stepdad, the acupuncturist, treats people for this. You should probably try that. PS: haaaaaawwwww haaaaaaaawww

[ QUOTE ]
This is really long. I tried to keep it short but it all just came pouring out. I've never told this to anyone. Not even girlfriends, or psychiatrists.

Cliffs Notes:
I wet the bed 1-2 times a week. It used to be worse. I hate myself because of it. I've tried everything. I was ostracized in high school. I've peed all over girls. Surprisingly, once people find out about it they're usually very understanding and nice to me.

I was an incredibly difficult toddler to potty train. I understood the basic principles involved, and really wanted the independence that came with toilet use, but the problem was that I could never seem to identify the feeling that meant that I needed to go, and would constantly be taken by surprise. With a lot of practice, I learned to identify these feelings, and by Kindergarten, I was out of daytime diapers. During the day, I would occasionally (1/week or se) feel an "unusual warmth" down there, but I could usually stop myself before completely voiding and run to the nearest toilet. If I really let loose (1/month or so), my parents kept a change of pants/undies at the nurses office for me. I also had problems with the bowel side of things, and usually couldn't tell until a teacher/parent/babysitter alerted me to the fact that I smelled like a waste treatment plant. As embarrassing as this could be at times, I was just happy to be under enough control to get by at a "normal" school (the district wanted me placed in a "special" program, even though I was reading at a 4th grade level and doing basic algebra).

Nighttime, however, was another story altogether. I wet the bed every single night, even though my parents (one of whom is an MD) tried everything they could think of. I wasn't allowed any caffeine, ever. I couldn't drink anything after dinner. I had to pee right before I went to bed. When none of that worked they tried a few other things. They set an alarm to wake me up in the middle of the night. When I started sleeping through that, they would set an alarm for themselves and one of them would wake me up and take me to the bathroom. They tried bedwetting alarms, most of which would either fall off during the night or not be loud enough to wake me (I was an incredibly deep sleeper). Mostly my parents & doctors took a "wait & see" attitude. After all, it wasn't that unusual for a 6-year-old to wet the bed regularly (although the daytime incidents were a concern).

Well, it didn't really get better, and as I got older it started to affect my social life more and more. My family was very close with another in town, and that was the only house I ever "slept over" at, mostly due to my own embarrassment. I never went on overnight field trips, to camp, etc. The good news was that I had the daytime urination under control by age 8 or 9 (although a little brown would still leak out here and there) and by age 12 I was only bedwetting on 70-80% of nights. The general consensus was still "wait and see". I guess frequent bedwetting is not all that uncommon for those as old as 15, although when it's happening to you it feels like you're the only one in the world.

When I was 12, I became a day student at a boarding school, and had a mandatory 3-day, 2-night orientation. These were the most harrowing nights of my life. I was already an outcast because I was a complete social retard, and knew that my time at this school would be a living hell if they knew I wet the bed. I brought some meds with me to take for it but I had very little confidence in them b/c they'd never seemed to make a difference. Well, I got through the first night because I was so nervous I never really dropped into sleep, but on the 2nd night I was so tired I conked out and, sure enough, let loose some stinky pee. Thankfully my 2 roommates took a very "big brother" approach, and actually treated me a lot nicer after that night (although I'm pretty sure word got around somehow).

When I was around 15, the frequency was down to around 20-30%, and this gave me a false sense of confidence, which, combined with my desire to "fit in" by participating in overnight activities, led to a few embarrassing incidents:

-I completely soaked a tent I was sharing with 2 other guys during our yearly "campout weekend".
-I fell asleep in a school van during a long drive and soaked the seat I was in. Pretty sure the girl I was sitting next to (who was a smoking hot senior) noticed, although she didn't say anything, and later on took a very "motherly" sort of interest in me, always asking if I was doing OK, cleaning my nails for me, etc.
-The worst one by far also happened to be on the same night I first got play from a girl. I was 16 and was staying over at school for something, and I finally told this girl that I liked her (I'd had a huge crush on since 8th grade). We had one of those "oh my God I've had the biggest crush on you too" moments, and we made out for 2 or 3 hours after dinner, on the bleachers at the football field, looking out at the sunset. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. At the curfew bell, she told me to wait up for her. After the security check, she snuck into my room with a pint-sized water bottle full of vodka (rule #1 of nocturnal enuresis: DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL AFTER 5 PM). We made out for an hour or so while listening to Underworld, and I got my fingers wet, although that was as far as it went. We fell asleep in my bed, and I couldn't believe how perfect life was. I woke up before dawn, drenched in cold, clammy piss, and she was gone. I never even so much as made eye contact with her again.
-I completely drenched a mattress in a monastery in Europe (not going to say what country b/c 2p2ers know I've been there). Again, it was drink-induced. Thankfully, we were leaving early the next morning, so I avoided the impending exorcism.

Now I'm in college, and I managed to get my own dorm room by telling the Dorm Parent why I needed it. I still wet the bed 1 or 2 times a week, and after going through so much humiliation as a high-schooler I've decided to keep it a total secret. I got a plastic mattress cover, and I set my alarm super early so that if I wet the bed I can put my sheets in the washer before anyone is awake to notice. So far, it's working. I'm such a social disaster that I've only had a girl over once, and convinced her to leave afterwards b/c I'm "just weird about sleeping in the same bed with people". She never came back, btw. My problem has gradually gotten better every year, and I just hope that I'll be at a somewhat normal bedwetting level by the time I graduate. If not, I'll probably kill myself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

jesus christ man sleep in a diaper or something

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

depends ftw, ldo

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
killing yourself is not a rational decision, don't treat it as such.

[/ QUOTE ]

I realize it's not rational, but no one can help him until he tells someone. It sounds like he's got enough people close to him that all he needs to do is work the courage up once to tell one of them, and everything will get much easier.

Maybe you disagree, but I'm not above motivating him to seek help by kicking him in the ass or using a little guilt. He goes into detail about planning this out to make sure his dogs and girlfriend aren't harmed, but he should think about how much pain he's going to dump on his family and girlfriend if he does this. That alone should be enough reason to seek help.

If people on this forum won't even make fun of you, think how understanding your family will be.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Dupe account FTW:

Last year, I fell in love with a girl who basically led me on for several months before publicly trashing and dumping me. Not knowing how to cope with it, I went to a frat party to drink away my sorrows, and met this random girl. SHe was a butterface, but I didn't really even care, I took her upstairs to a random guy's room at the house and got a hummer. Didn't give it another thought.

Then the next night I get a call from a random number, find out this girl stayed around and asked everyone she could find who I was (I never told her my name), and got my phone number randomly. As if this wasn't scary enough, she told me on the phone that "she was obsessed with me, couldn't stop thinking about me." Now, any normal person would immediately get away, but as I'm [censored] up, I decided to hit it again.

I get to her dorm room and she starts grabbing at my crotch IN FRONT OF HER ROOMMATES, so I naturally offer to take her to my apartment. It's too far though, so I just take her downstairs to one of the secluded music practice rooms and [censored] her on a piano bench. Anyone could've walked in on us, don't know why I did this.

So I don't call her for a week and don't answer her repeated calls. The next weekend I decide I want some more nookie, and since she's still calling, I answer and say I had a busy week and sorry for not getting back to her. I invite her over to my apartment, get her naked on my bed, and was going to go down on her but then I got a whiff and was completely revolted by the stench. Smelled like salty sewage. Should've been a cue, but the lights were off and I just wanted to SIIHP. So I started to, but then I felt some extra wetness getting onto my balls, more than should have been there from my experience. So I stop what I'm doing, and look down, and there's this dark liquid everywhere, all over the sheets, all over me, everything. I turn on the lights and she's bleeding like hell, this isn't something I ripped, it's her goddamn period. I'm not squeemish, I've [censored] girls in their period before, but I have never seen this much blood get all over the bed and me before. Absolutely disgusting. I get red in the face and tell her to GTFO of my room, she smiles and says "you wouldn't do that to me, we're in love, I love you." I kicked her out of my apartment without giving her time to get her clothes all the way back on, I'm sure she had to walk all the way back to her dormroom in bloody panties (it's only a mile walk so not too bad). I never talked to her again. Had to throw out my sheets, stained so bad by the blood that it wouldn't come out.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[censored] i forgot how cool this thread was

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

just spent a half day at work reading all this.


btw www.grouphug.us is more or less the same principle ?

anyway, very good read [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]

btw www.grouphug.us is more or less the same principle ?

anyway, very good read [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
i want to be a break dancer but dont have the physical strength.i want to die.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol.


[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

expert bumpz

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
just spent a half day at work reading all this.


btw www.grouphug.us is more or less the same principle ?

anyway, very good read [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

i pretend to take my birth control every day in front of my boyfriend.. i hide it under my tongue and take it out when hes not looking. im so blessed to be pregnant - he doesnt know yet.


so sick...

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
hahaha. Now that is how to make a fake one well.

I think the star wars one has about the same probabilty of being fake as this one, big in other words. But this is so hot.

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] slider

[/ QUOTE ]

Looks like the lover has just revealed himself

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

i just read this thread all the way through.
OMG - bring this thread back to life!

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Swinger's Life Monthly Magazine...

[ QUOTE ]
I guess this doesn't /really/ have to be anonymous since I didn't do anything bad, but I thought BBV would find it humorous

I grew up in typical whitebread middle-class suburbia. When I was about 13 or so I had a job lined up babysitting at a neighbor's house. Somehow I told a friend of mine that I was babysitting there and he told me to look in the closet in their guest bedroom because they had porn. I didn't believe it, but after I put the kid to bed I went in there and sure enough the entire closet was just packed full of swinger magazines, porn, dildos, lube, etc. Nothing terribly hardcore in the great scheme of things (though closet swingers in suburbia has some humor value I suppose) but I was 13, this was like heaven.

So I literally pull out like 40 porn magazines and am sitting in the middle of them all wanking it when suddenly I hear the garage door go up. Parents are home like 2 hours early. I totally flip out and just start shoving stuff under the bed, back in the closet. Meanwhile kid wakes up because of the garage door and starts SCREAMING. Before I can even get my belt buckled or all the porn put away the kid's dad is standing at the door of the guest bedroom. Kid screaming. My pants half on. Closet open with all their porn magazines literally thrown in in a pile (I think I thought somehow I was going to go back and clean them up before they found out.) Dead [censored] silence - we just stare at each other. I freak out and tell him i have to go to the bathroom and run in there and shut the door and start crying because I think that they probably think I was basically wacking off and ignoring their screaming kid and they were going to tell my parents I was looking at porn. I sit in there for about 20 minutes before the dad finally knocks on the door and asks me if I'm all right and tells me he'll take me home.

They never mention a word about it. They never call me back to babysit again. 6 months later they move away.

In retrospect, it was certainly more horrifying for them to wonder if their babysitter had told his parents that they were degenerate swingers and wonder if all the neighbors knew (I didn't obviously) but when you're 13 and beating it to porn and an adult catches you it pretty much feels like the end of the world.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMFAO

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

good job adanthar
this is the best thread ever on BBV.
better than the something awful version, 'coz its us.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

<3 this thread

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

grimstarr?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
i just read this thread all the way through.
OMG - bring this thread back to life!

[/ QUOTE ]

I have alot of stories, but it is mostly mean things I did in HS to other people for really no apparent reason and the ridiculously massive amounts of cheating I did. No cool girl stories, so would that be interesting to read? I want to entertain the people who made me life all day at work today (i did feel kinda bad for the kid who killed the pregnant lady, if i was her husband u mite be dead right now)

ps. that grouphug site is fun to read as well

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

BUMP

best thread ever. more stories please.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I don't remember the password for that email account and don't have time right now anyway, but if anyone wants to start a sequel to this thread with the same rules, feel free (respected posters only please, I'd rather not have any unexpected dramabombs.)

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
I see why this guy wants to be anonymous, though

[ QUOTE ]
I have a [censored] load,some or maybe even all of them suck ass, but oh well. You can choose to post
whichever ones, if any at all.

Lets see, where to start...

When I was a kid I used to sneak into my brothers room when he was at work and watch his pornos on
VHS and bang out some knuckle children on his bed.
I would make sure to memorize to a tee where the vid started and when I was done with my session I
would rewind back to the original spot.

I use to also sneak into his room, steal his weed and replace it with oregano, numerous times a
week. One time he bought a large quantity and it was like mother [censored] christmas! I even stole
some and would sell it to my friends.


Back around '96,'97 I had friend who I hung out with who had a pretty hot girlfriend, but for some
reason he loved banging fat chicks. We would go out to clubs and he would just hit on fat whores.
Now mind you I've been known to go harpooning once or a dozen times myself, but if I had a gf as
hot as his was,I wouldn't even think about any other skanks. Anyways he finds this one corpulent
cow that he wants to hook up with at the club. He gets her number and what not and asks me if I
want to go with him cuz she has a roommate (who by the way is an obese butterball as well). Both
those chicks are pigs, both literally and sexually. So we go there on a friday night, they had just
got back from the bar and were trashed. So we walk in and see the one porker my friend is going
to hook up with but the other one that i'm supposed to hook with is no where to be seen. So her fat
friend is sitting there giggling like the chunky little troll she is, when we hear a noise coming
from th
e bedroom. I'm like "wtf". She goes into the room and I here laughing and whispering and 10
minutes later I see some drunk ass dude stumbling out of the bedroom with the missing roommate
behind, pushing him along and trying to kick him out as if it wasn't planned for him to be there [censored]
her fat, greasy ass. So this [censored] beached Orca whale is now thinking i'm going to [censored] her
after she's [censored] some dude in the bedroom as I walk in their house! LMFAO! So she plants her
gigantic frame on the couch and basically falls asleep while my friend is getting a hand job by jabba
the [censored] on the other couch next to me. Thankfully they went to the bedroom to finish, while miss
piggy lie snoring on the couch and me watching late night infomercials.


The first time I had sex was a nightmare. I was 18, she was a 27 year old dead head hippie chick
who lived above my friend. Not the the hottest chick but she had big old titties and I was eager
to get laid. So we get all drunk one night and end up playing strip dice (we didn't have cards) So
eventually I end up in her room we are messing around and I really don't know how to proceed so I
think to myself "well in the pornos the guy always eats the chicks puss out before they bang so I
should do that"

Bad idea.

I start to go down south and near her hatchet wound when i see a giant afro and worse yet, this
stench starts to hit me. I mean it smells like the old 59 cent soft tacos from Taco Bell.
Basically it reeks of hot garbage. I'm like, "well i gotta do what i gotta do I guess" when she stops me
(thankfully) from chowing down on her gash. She flat out tells me, "You can't, I haven't showered
yet today". Okay so now i'm really freaked out,all i wanna do is end my virginity and blow my
load.

I try my best to ignore what just happened but I can't even cum i'm so freaked and grossed out.
Basically i don't end up blowing my load, and just like a mutual aggreement that we end for the
night. She's like, "oh i came what a beautiful thing" Those were her exact words but I think she was
full of [censored] cuz i was really grossed out by the whole sewer snatch thing. Anyways I wake up the
next morning and start walking home, I don't even notice anything till i get out side and see
blood on my fingers. I'm like "wtf how did I cut my self" It's all over my hands and they smell awful.
Then i look down and notice blood on my t-shirt, I'm like "god damn i must of really been drunk i
didn't even feel myself get cut last night"
I get home and start to clean my self up and change when I look down and see it- blood,
everywhere, all over my [censored] and balls, everywhere. I'm really bugging out thinking I cut my dick somehow
but then i realize that this dirty whore had her period all over me while i was [censored] and that's
why she didn't let me eat her [censored]. I swear my finger stunk like period scum for a week. I dont'
know why but i gotta a bunch of nasty pussy eating stories, another time I ate out some spanish
stripper whore (who was also a prostiute) while getting a lapdance at a strip joint.

Anyways, maybe these sucks balls but i'm bored today. I know of more [censored] but this is getting
entirely too long.

Be safe and beware of stinky pussy and fat whores.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

best one yet???

[/ QUOTE ]

I cant even breathe after reading this one. brilliant

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
This man can't even get email to work

[ QUOTE ]
just tried e-mailing and the address doesn't work. so basically all of these have been adanthar so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the best one.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

bump

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I dont know if this is really that bad. In college I lived in the frat house one year. Sometimes I would keep leftover food in the fridge if me and my roomates fridge was full.

If I didnt collect the food within 24 hours and it was gone I felt it was no big deal. Brothers get drunk and its a public fridge.

However, for a month our mini fridge was down and i had to keep my food in the public one and it kept getting eaten. When your in college, buying meals twice can add up.

So I had a friend help me make brownies but we put laxative in them. Of course the jerks who ate my food got sick.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Prenup, yo?
[ QUOTE ]
The answer to all those questions OOT asks itself daily

[ QUOTE ]
When I was 23 (4 years ago) I went to the gym quite a bit. My lifting partner and I were pretty buff at that point and looked good (BEEFCAAAAAAKE!). We made fun of everyone else at the gym on a daily basis between ourselves and were horribly mean because we viewed them as inferior. One of the girls that came to the gym had terrible looking frizzy, curly hair, overweight by like 30 pounds, never talked to anyone, and was a rumored lesbian. She looked to be about 21 or 22. We made fun of her constantly. One day as I was leaving the gym I saw her in front of me walking to her car, she got into a brand new Range Rover as I walked to my old Honda. I suddenly saw the light. The next time I saw her at the gym I started talking to her and found out who her stepdad was through conversation. I found out that he bought and sold shopping malls and owned a very well known company in my city. I asked another person at the gym if he knew who she was and he laughed and mentioned how ugly she was and I laughed along with him. Then he told me her family was probably worth in excess of $100 million. I stopped laughing. I grew up poor (750 sq. ft house for 5 kids and parents) and I didn't want to be poor anymore. I launched an all out romantic attack on her, we started going out, she still may have been a lesbain but I didn't care, we eventually moved in together, I still couldn't look at her without cringing, and 2 years later we got married. This woman is now my wife.

Beat: I probably married a lesbian
Brag: Her parents bought us a $600,000 house in a country club subdivision that he owns for our wedding present and I work for her dad managing part of his real estate portfolio. I'm on salary at $240,000 a year. Her trust fund pays her $8800/month until she's 30 and she will receive a $10 million lump sum on her 30th birthday. He's 73 now and not doing well, the inheritance will be sick since he didn't have any kids on his own due to completely immersing himself in his business his entire life. I love the money, my wife can't cook and she's ugly, but I'm rich.
Variance: I married someone that I hate and can't look.

My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same thing, swallow your pride and marry the first time for money and the second time for love.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

K... Love the thread but I'm tired of hearing depressing stories, time for a funny one (all my closest friends know this story):

Right out of high school I had an interview for Nintendo to be a product tester. So I'm running late to my interview obv and driving in an area very unfamiliar to me. I'm about 5 minutes away from the Nintendo campus and I really REALLY have to take a dump like never before in my life. The feeling didn't just creep up on me, it completely blitzed my bowels. Anyway, I'm trying hard to find a gas station, or some place where I can pull over quick and use a bathroom. Nothing but residential areas in upper-middle class suburbia. 2 minutes into my bowels totally pwning my (_o_), I absolutely can't take it and I have no idea how close I am to the Nintendo campus. So, I pull into a quiet, yet somewhat nice neighborhood and quickly park my car. No bushes around so I run into some dudes really nice backyard and take a gigantic crap on their back lawn. I find the nearest leaf and wipe my ass and head off to the interview.

Anyway, I finally get to my interview and I interview with the head of product development for Nintendo for about an hour and a half. To make the interview that more challenging to stay focused, the guy had one glass eye and the other one was cross eye. He would look down take notes, look up and both eyes would be messed up. We're talking much worse than that South Park teacher with saggy ( . ) ( . ). I couldn't tell which eye was the good one and which eye was the bad one. About 10 minutes into the interview, I told myself, eff it, I'm gonna focus on the right eye. Nicest guy in the world and we hit it off quite well. So well, he offered me the job on the spot. As I was walking out with him on the way out, I took a closer look and I realized I was looking at the fake eye the entire time. I'm not sure if that's bad or good but what an uncomfortable day that was.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

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change IRuleYouHard's title to vampire?

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Vagina Vampire

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

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K... Love the thread but I'm tired of hearing depressing stories, time for a funny one (all my closest friends know this story):

Right out of high school I had an interview for Nintendo to be a product tester. So I'm running late to my interview obv and driving in an area very unfamiliar to me. I'm about 5 minutes away from the Nintendo campus and I really REALLY have to take a dump like never before in my life. The feeling didn't just creep up on me, it completely blitzed my bowels. Anyway, I'm trying hard to find a gas station, or some place where I can pull over quick and use a bathroom. Nothing but residential areas in upper-middle class suburbia. 2 minutes into my bowels totally pwning my (_o_), I absolutely can't take it and I have no idea how close I am to the Nintendo campus. So, I pull into a quiet, yet somewhat nice neighborhood and quickly park my car. No bushes around so I run into some dudes really nice backyard and take a gigantic crap on their back lawn. I find the nearest leaf and wipe my ass and head off to the interview.

Anyway, I finally get to my interview and I interview with the head of product development for Nintendo for about an hour and a half. To make the interview that more challenging to stay focused, the guy had one glass eye and the other one was cross eye. He would look down take notes, look up and both eyes would be messed up. We're talking much worse than that South Park teacher with saggy ( . ) ( . ). I couldn't tell which eye was the good one and which eye was the bad one. About 10 minutes into the interview, I told myself, eff it, I'm gonna focus on the right eye. Nicest guy in the world and we hit it off quite well. So well, he offered me the job on the spot. As I was walking out with him on the way out, I took a closer look and I realized I was looking at the fake eye the entire time. I'm not sure if that's bad or good but what an uncomfortable day that was.

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Worst confession ever???