Re: Do you want to have children?
 

KKF,

Your feelings are pretty typical. I never get excited excited about other people's kids, but I always look forward to spending time with my kids.

Words cannot adequately convey the feelings you get when your child runs up to you, gives you a big hug and kiss and says, "I love you daddy." The sacrifices are worth it.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

Any real benefit from having children is internal, and personal. Simply looking at it from an EV standpoint is missing the point entirely. Creating and raising a new life to enjoy the world's beauty and contribute to society sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

It is the closest you'll ever get to understanding the link between us as people, and would give (me) true purpose in life. I've known my entire life that I want children. I'd like to have me own, as well adopt.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

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While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids

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See, I want to have kids, but statements like this actually make me think about changing my mind. First of all, I find it hard to believe that someone would never question a decision that big. And second, if having kids really does [censored] with your mind so much that you can't even longingly consider what might have been, then maybe I don't want them after all. Does this make sense to anyone?

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This makes perfect sense, if you don't have kids. I know it gets a little cliche' after awhile, but you just can't possibly understand it until you have kids of your own. That's just the way it is.

Yes, there were times when I longed for the day the kids would be on their own and Mary and I would have our free time together. But I never once longed for the past, the days when we didn't have kids. Do you understand the difference? Probably not.

That said, now that my son is off to college, what I long for more than anything is to turn back the clock and make them young again. I am not looking forward to the empty nest, even if I may have occasionally wanted it in the past. Make sense? I doubt it. You gotta live through it to understand.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

Am I the only one who likes many other people´s kids, but doesn´t want to have kids himself? I´m regularly taking care of my nephew when my sister is busy. He´s 5 years old and we get along great. I pretty much feel like an older brother reading him books, explaining stuff to him, letting him climb on trees or playing foosball which he is pretty good at for his age.

But when his parents are around and he´s tired he often gets all crazy crying and throwing things around and I don´t think I´d be able to endure this stuff 24/7 without suffering a nervous breakdown.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I just picture having kids and rushing in the morning, dropping them off at some daycare that charges $1000 a month for probably [censored] care, having my disposable income cut by a tonne, etc as some huge negatives. Without kids I could easily retire at 45, but with kids I'd probably have to work until 55 because of the costs. I don't know of one parent who isn't totally stressed out or continously complaining about how busy it is....doesn't sound that great to me.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids

[/ QUOTE ]
See, I want to have kids, but statements like this actually make me think about changing my mind. First of all, I find it hard to believe that someone would never question a decision that big. And second, if having kids really does [censored] with your mind so much that you can't even longingly consider what might have been, then maybe I don't want them after all. Does this make sense to anyone?

[/ QUOTE ]
This makes perfect sense, if you don't have kids. I know it gets a little cliche' after awhile, but you just can't possibly understand it until you have kids of your own. That's just the way it is.

Yes, there were times when I longed for the day the kids would be on their own and Mary and I would have our free time together. But I never once longed for the past, the days when we didn't have kids. Do you understand the difference? Probably not.

That said, now that my son is off to college, what I long for more than anything is to turn back the clock and make them young again. I am not looking forward to the empty nest, even if I may have occasionally wanted it in the past. Make sense? I doubt it. You gotta live through it to understand.

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Henry was right. It's a cult.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

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Henry was right. It's a cult.

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Ok, I can live with that based on certain definitions of "cult"

You say it like it's a bad thing. Please explain.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

having a child expands exponentially your abilities to love. Some people just aren't cut out for loving another more than themselves. You don't really know which category you fit 'til you're hit with it, and hopefully you rise to the occasion. Some people don't.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

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Henry was right. It's a cult.

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Ok, I can live with that based on certain definitions of "cult"

You say it like it's a bad thing. Please explain.

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It's a bad thing because it's seriously making me question whether or not I want to have children. Having children apparently causes large changes in the mind, which is terrifying because I like my mind the way it is, thank you very much. You see the changes as warm and mature and an essential part of life, but from outside it looks like becoming one of the pod people.

Re: Do you want to have children?
 

I'm laughing at the all pro-kids peeps posting long responses.
If they like the little crumbsuckers so much, why don't they get off the intra-webs and go do some parenting?