On not contacting Girls...

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
she sounds like a big ball of crap that you dont want in a girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is depressing. She wants to hang with ex's who buy her sexy underwear, goes to his hotel, and then calls him as soon as she gets home.

Sounds like she f*cked him, is thinking of it, or wants to. Sounds like the last thing she is thinking about is britspin. Whatever level this went to, the whole of it is not cool. Not cool.

[Barry_G]

Quick Recap:

1)[ QUOTE ]
a guy she once had a very brief thing with. She's also met this guy earlier in the day because he wanted to buy her a present because she helped him with some work. The present is expensive underwear.

[/ QUOTE ]
So, He didn't just buy her some underwear but they actually went shopping together to get the panties. This is totally [censored] inappropriate on her and his part. She should have never accepted.
2)[ QUOTE ]
I'm not invited because it's their gang...

[/ QUOTE ]
Ok, no problem having friends outside the relationship (but not ones she has [censored] before)
3)[ QUOTE ]
We started out as [censored] buddies,my last girlfriend was her sister.

[/ QUOTE ]
Now you want to date your [censored] buddie, who is your last girfriends sister who just got cheated on by her husband. Wow, great choice there.
4)[ QUOTE ]
In the end, I said that if she wanted to keep it open fine, but I would see other people too, and she chose to make it exclusive, but it's partly why I'm finding it hard to trust her right now.

[/ QUOTE ]
So she really wanted to keep it open but gave in when she thought you might not go for what she really wanted to be.. [censored] buddies.
5) [ QUOTE ]
I texted her with a very relaxed "call me when you get in" message.

[/ QUOTE ]
I hate this [censored]. Do not be passive-aggressive. If you don't like what happened say you don't like it.
6) [ QUOTE ]
Apparently they'd met for a drink at his hotel- didn't go get underwear. He propositioned her suggests they go to his room, she says she said no- she's going out with me. They apparently continue drinking.

[/ QUOTE ]
Your girlfriend shouldn't be meeting former lovers at their hotel for drinks. Disrespected once again.
He tries to get her back up to room. No problem, i mean that was the point of inviting her to hotel for drinks anyway, right. Or was it for panty shopping, i forget.
Guys are going to hit on your girl, many more times than you ever realise. If not your with an unattractive,uninteresting girl.
7) [ QUOTE ]
After Dinner he goes back to hotel, she goes with other gets home, calls the guy on the phone and talk sto him about it all.

[/ QUOTE ]
What? That conversation should have occured at the hotel over drinks if anywhere.

Whew! thats just a lot of baggage. We have a girl fresh out of a broken relationship that doesn't respect some pretty standard boundaries. Do you think if the situation was reversed that she would put up with that. I think not. She already wanted an open relationship, but not so open that you could also see other people. Sit down talk to this girl. Give her time to decide what she wants. [censored] other girls while she decides. I don't think this has 1 chance out of 20 of working out the way you want. Sorry.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Wait wait wait,

He didn't buy her underwear, but they were going to go underwear shopping?

Please clarify.

[/ QUOTE ]

Apparently they just met for a drink instead, which is when he tried to [censored] her. I can't figure out the timescales though. This is one of the things I need to work out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell your girl to get her story straight.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Just tell her "hey look, you know I trust you, but this is a really bad idea. Please please just tell this Jakethebake guy you're not interested."

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Victorvdb]

If she wanted it to be a one-sided open relationship, there is no point in continuing. She'll be flirting / looking for / random assorted activities that include, but not exclusive to, meeting guys in hotel lobbies for drinks, pantyshopping etc and that's gonna drive you crazy. Why did you, or you two, decide this should be more than a fuckbuddy relationship anyway? Sounds like you had a good setup, but had to ruin it by getting notions of standard relationships involved.

Next time I'd advise against potentially adulterous sisters of exgirlfriends. I hope she / they are not from a family with 10 daughters?

[Dominic]

update?

[britspin]

[ QUOTE ]
update?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not happy. She assures me nothings happened and she loves me, we're meeting for drinks later tonight to discuss.

Any tips?

[irvman21]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think this is automatic breakup stuff but I think its time to define exactly how you expect to be treated

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience when you have to define the way you expect to be treated you are in a world of trouble

[/ QUOTE ]

Well said. You shouldn't need to teach someone how to have respect for you.

[Peter Harris]

man, i didn't think [censored] like this happened in England.

Thanks man, you've made me feel better about my comparatively little pickle. No freudian slip there.

Downgrade her back to [censored] buddy and find a new one. Your table selection needs work [yes, touch of pot and kettle there]

Pete

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
update?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not happy. She assures me nothings happened and she loves me, we're meeting for drinks later tonight to discuss.

Any tips?

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell her why you're unhappy in a calm, non-accusitory way. Explain why you think her behaviour is inappropriate for someone in a relationship. Remember, this is not about "but you should trust me." You do trust her, right? It's about not being put in "tester" spots like this to see if you DO trust her.

No one who cares about their significant other would do this. It's just plain wrong.

But instead about arguing about the past with her, make it very clear that you would be very unhappy if a similiar situation arose again. And tell her how much you care about her.

If she's still giving you grief...sorry, Dude...your relationship is toast.