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#81
07-27-2007, 11:15 AM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
[ QUOTE ]
anyway, got blown by a girl who had never given head before. she bit on my dick. it hurt real bad. then it bled. a lot. [/ QUOTE ] Should have popped a viagra. Holy unstoppablesprayofbloodaments! 
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#82
07-27-2007, 11:29 AM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] my worst experience is when i meet a random townie girl in a bar in new haven (SHE introduced herself to ME btw, this is important for the story)... she was pretty [censored] stupid and i now have a policy against stupid girls but i didn't then and she was sort of cute (not cute enough but i was wasted). we're dancing, start making out in bar, etc. i'm pretty drunk and so is she, so her friend drives us back to her place and i have no idea where it is. anyway fast forward to we're in bed, i basically [censored] her, go to town on her, etc... she gets off. then does the standard roll over i guess talk for a couple minutes before going at it again (read: MY turn to get off) when she says "you know i've only slept with a girl once and i didn't really like it." so i'm like uhhhh ok but now you do? anyway she tells me a bit about it blah blah blah and then just goes to sleep. so i'm like ok wtf this is horrible and awkward. after like an hour of lying awake praying she doesn't wake up too, i go to sleep too and then wake up at 5am when she gets up to go sleep on the couch. i wake up again at like 8am, sneak out of the house through the back window, figure out where the [censored] i am, and walk the 6 miles or so back to campus with a retardedly bad hangover. [/ QUOTE ] I hooked up with this lesbian girl 4 yeara go, but we didn't have any condoms, so I just went down on her. Afterwards, she tried to get away without worshipping my [censored]. nonono nice try honey. Be aggressive. B E aggressive. [/ QUOTE ] wp sir, vwp
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#83
07-27-2007, 11:57 AM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
[quote}I really need to quit [censored] ugly broads, but Ive got low standards and can only think straight after Ive gotten off.
[/ QUOTE ] hahhahahhahah, me to the muthhhher fuuuuuckin T
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#84
07-27-2007, 12:03 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
anything involving a girl puking is bad, if she pukes before the hook up... well then I guess u knew what u were gettin into
the mom keyboard story was hilarious btw
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#85
07-27-2007, 12:25 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
wow, these are all so bad... I was gonna post mine, but Ill better keep it brief.
-first gf -not using condoms for 2 weeks or so -gf stops pill, now must use condom -first [censored] with condom I realize : _after_ finishing in doggystyle pos. that the condom is half gone. Really torn in two, just that we couldnt find the other part. Half of it was still firmly on my schlong, and the rest was just gone. -next day I get a call that she found the rest of it -her next period was late for almost a week and she called me every day telling me about it / worrying -gets period -I dump her and decide that pr0n is much better happy end
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#86
07-27-2007, 12:31 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
rough head is pretty good most of the time
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#87
07-27-2007, 12:51 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
Back in college I took this girl home. We were both pretty hammered from drinking and other substances. We started mashing in my car on the driver's seat. She was wearing a skirt and jumped right on top of my one-eyed friend. Crappy thing is that I put it in her butt instead. When I pulled out, crap fell all over my lap and I had to drive home with chit and stank smell in my car. It smelled so bad that I had to vomit, hands smelled like crap so I couldn't touch my mouth to stop the vomit- so I just threw up on my lap. Then I go back to my apt and all my friends were in the living room and I see that I had poo and throw up on my lap.
College Rocks!!
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#89
07-27-2007, 01:07 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
[ QUOTE ]
Back in college I took this girl home. We were both pretty hammered from drinking and other substances. We started mashing in my car on the driver's seat. She was wearing a skirt and jumped right on top of my one-eyed friend. Crappy thing is that I put it in her butt instead. When I pulled out, crap fell all over my lap and I had to drive home with chit and stank smell in my car. It smelled so bad that I had to vomit, hands smelled like crap so I couldn't touch my mouth to stop the vomit- so I just threw up on my lap. Then I go back to my apt and all my friends were in the living room and I see that I had poo and throw up on my lap. College Rocks!! [/ QUOTE ] [*]this rly happend
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#90
07-27-2007, 01:09 PM
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Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had
[ QUOTE ]
Back in college I took this girl home. We were both pretty hammered from drinking and other substances. We started mashing in my car on the driver's seat. She was wearing a skirt and jumped right on top of my one-eyed friend. Crappy thing is that I put it in her butt instead. When I pulled out, crap fell all over my lap and I had to drive home with chit and stank smell in my car. It smelled so bad that I had to vomit, hands smelled like crap so I couldn't touch my mouth to stop the vomit- so I just threw up on my lap. Then I go back to my apt and all my friends were in the living room and I see that I had poo and throw up on my lap. College Rocks!! [/ QUOTE ] dont cars have windows???
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