Do you tell ?

[oddjob]

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I agree with Mike Gallo. Stay out of it.

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Yeah. How is any of this any of your business at all? You didn't even hear it first hand. No good will come from interfering in this scenario.

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i'm sorry? you don't think telling your friend that his buddy and girl hooked up isn't your business? or that your friend is making this claim at least?

are you saying that you wouldn't want your friends to tell your if your boyfriend might be fooling around on your, OR that one of your friends is claiming to be sleeping with him?

you sound like a [censored] friend.

[Leaky Eye]

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I agree with Mike Gallo. Stay out of it.

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Yeah. How is any of this any of your business at all? You didn't even hear it first hand. No good will come from interfering in this scenario.

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GG is involved. If he says nothing everyone thinks Mike is a chump for having a gf whoring it up with Jack, or at least for having a friend claiming to stick it to his gf. GG "not interfering" is letting this happen. He needs to man up and help Mike out here.

DD I have a close friend who went and married a total bitch who treated him like ass. I told him what everyone else saw repeatedly. Too bad he didn't listen and only saw the light after he got hitched.

[bernie]

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DD I have a close friend who went and married a total bitch who treated him like ass. I told him what everyone else saw repeatedly. Too bad he didn't listen and only saw the light after he got hitched.

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Sometimes it does work out.

I was in this situation and this was the reason I refused to be the best man. That was a fun conversation, let me tell ya. It wasn't an easy talk to say the least. But eventually she came around and is now pretty pleasant and cool to hang out with. Took a couple years after being married.

Do I regret the decision? Not at all. At the time it was the right decision. We're all pretty good buds now.

I will agree that this is an exception to the norm. Usually the A-Hole, whether it be the guy or girl, usually doesn't change this drastically.

b

[Fast Food Knight]

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Before I married my first wife, apparently all of my really close friends thought she was a colossal bitch and treated me terribly. I had some misgivings but was pretty much blind to the situation. Oh how I wish one of my friends would have risked me getting mad at him so he could give me an outside perspective.

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That's the thing. 99% of the time, people are going to do whatever they want to do. I've had numerous heart-to-hearts with friends about how I hate their significant other and think they're making a huge mistake. Not once has it ever made a difference other than making things really awkward or ending the friendship. I was in a horrible relationship and turned a deaf and infuriated ear to my friends were just trying to help.

If it was some random guy who banged the girl, it would be a different scenario, and I would recommend telling him. But it's between two friends and a girl that has been passed between them publicly once already. If OP truly wants to remain friends with both, then getting involved is only going to be dragging himself and more drama into an already dramatic situation.

[oddjob]

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Before I married my first wife, apparently all of my really close friends thought she was a colossal bitch and treated me terribly. I had some misgivings but was pretty much blind to the situation. Oh how I wish one of my friends would have risked me getting mad at him so he could give me an outside perspective.

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That's the thing. 99% of the time, people are going to do whatever they want to do. I've had numerous heart-to-hearts with friends about how I hate their significant other and think they're making a huge mistake. Not once has it ever made a difference other than making things really awkward or ending the friendship. I was in a horrible relationship and turned a deaf and infuriated ear to my friends were just trying to help.

If it was some random guy who banged the girl, it would be a different scenario, and I would recommend telling him. But it's between two friends and a girl that has been passed between them publicly once already. If OP truly wants to remain friends with both, then getting involved is only going to be dragging himself and more drama into an already dramatic situation.

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wtf would he remain friends with a douchebag that would do this?

[Fast Food Knight]

Another thing is that it's not like this guy is completely in the dark. He freaking caught them in very suspicious scenario. He has all the evidence he needs to know what's going on.

[KotOD]

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If Mike was a really good bud and really liked the chick, I might say something about Jill. I just wouldn't include Jack in the equation.

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Have fun with this line.

[DrewDevil]

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Before I married my first wife, apparently all of my really close friends thought she was a colossal bitch and treated me terribly. I had some misgivings but was pretty much blind to the situation. Oh how I wish one of my friends would have risked me getting mad at him so he could give me an outside perspective.

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That's the thing. 99% of the time, people are going to do whatever they want to do. I've had numerous heart-to-hearts with friends about how I hate their significant other and think they're making a huge mistake. Not once has it ever made a difference other than making things really awkward or ending the friendship. I was in a horrible relationship and turned a deaf and infuriated ear to my friends were just trying to help.

If it was some random guy who banged the girl, it would be a different scenario, and I would recommend telling him. But it's between two friends and a girl that has been passed between them publicly once already. If OP truly wants to remain friends with both, then getting involved is only going to be dragging himself and more drama into an already dramatic situation.

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Certainly there is danger in telling a close friend that the person they are currently sleeping with is a bitch/douche/azzhole/whatever. Certainly you can damage or destroy a friendship by trying to save this person some real heartache down the line.

But isn't that what true friendship is supposed to be? Wouldn't you be willing to give up your friendship with a close friend if you could save them from terrible heartache?

The issue is bigger than just whether it harms your friendship.

[Fast Food Knight]

I think what I'm trying to say is that in theory, telling him sounds like a great idea and the obvious right thing to do. In reality, it never works out the way it should, friendships are broken, unfair judgments are made, and resentment sets in. I have never once gotten involved in a situation like this that I later wished I had just stayed out of.

[oddjob]

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I think what I'm trying to say is that in theory, telling him sounds like a great idea and the obvious right thing to do. In reality, it never works out the way it should, friendships are broken, unfair judgments are made, and resentment sets in. I have never once gotten involved in a situation like this that I later wished I had just stayed out of.

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what's worse is not telling, and him finding out you knew. this is happening within a circle of my friends.

friend's wife leaves him. ex is screwing buddy. a bunch of others knew (i did not, and if i did, i would have told him, a bunch knew cause 3 of them live with him) he doesnt' find out for a month.

he cannot trust any of those guys. he's a great guy, and they lost his friendship. he's done so much for a number of them. screw that. not one of the had the balls to tell him. that's messed up.

it's not even so much that they were screwing. it was that everyone knew for a month or so, and not one of them told him.