favorite Seinfeld line

[chicken10der]

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"I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it."

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you're welcome [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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i think your best options are to either go for more accuracy or more humility when fixing people's quotes

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All of you [censored] it up. No humility needed here.

[TheMainEvent]

KRAMER: Let's just say that I don't have to worry about working for a while. A LONG while.

JERRY: That's funny because I haven't seen you working for a while. A LONG while.

[po-Jay-to]

10der-
sent you a PM

[neverforgetlol]

jerry: what does the whip do anyway?
kramer: well when someone doesn't vote his way, he whips them. "you better vote this way or else... (whip sound)"

[pmdvert18]

George in the third person = "George likes spicy chicken"

[JeffO]

Jerry:"Let go of that marble rye you old bag"

[LionelHutz00]

Kramer: Jerry, these are load bearing walls!

[fiskebent]

SERENITY NOW!

[James Boston]

This is a little more than a single line, but in my opinion, one of the best dialogues to take place between Jerry and George. It's from "The Race."



DUNCAN: But there's no way you could have beaten me by that much. I already beaten you in Junior High School three times.

JERRY: I didn't hit puberty til the 9th grade. That's what gave me my speed. Besides, if I got a head start why didn't Mr. Bevilacqua stop the race?

(George enters)

DUNCAN: That's what I've always wondered about.

JERRY: Well, I . . . [sees George]

GEORGE: Oh, my God, No, oh my God, . . . Jerry!

JERRY: I'm sorry, uh,

GEORGE: George, George Costanza!

JERRY: Oh, George Costanza , Kennedy High.

GEORGE: Yes yes yes This is unbelievable.

DUNCAN: Hi, George

GEORGE: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, don't tell me, don't tell me. It starts with a . . . Duncan Meyers. Oh, wow, this is something. I haven't seen you guys in what, twenty years?

JERRY: This is Lois.

LOIS: Hello.

GEORGE: So what have you been doing with yourself?

JERRY: I'm I'm a comedian.

GEORGE: Ah ha, well, I really wouldn't know about that. I don't watch much TV. I like to read. So what do you do, a lot of that "did you ever notice?" this kind of stuff.

JERRY: Yeah, yeah

GEORGE: It strikes me a lot of guys are doing that kind of humor now.

JERRY: Yeah, yeah, Well, you really got bald there, didn't you?

GEORGE: Yeah, yeah.

JERRY: You really used to have a think full head of hair.

GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess I started losing it when I was about twenty-eight right around the time I made my first million. You know what they say. The first million is the hardest one.

JERRY: yeah, yeah.

LOIS: What do you do?

GEORGE: I'm an architect.

LOIS: Have you designed any buildings in New York?

GEORGE: Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim?

LOIS: You did that?

GEORGE: Yep. And it didn't take very long either.

JERRY: Well you've really built yourself up into something.

GEORGE: Well, well, I had a dream, Jerry.

JERRY: Well, one cannot help[ but wonder what brings you into a crummy little coffee shop like this.

GEORGE: Well, I like to stay in touch with the people.

JERRY: Ah, you know you have a hole in your sneaker there. What is that canvas?

GEORGE: You know my driver's waiting, I really should get running. Good to see you guys again.

JERRY: George, George, hang on. I haven't seen you in so long.

GEORGE: Ha, uh,

JERRY: I thought we might reminisce a little more. You know Duncan and I were just taking about the big race.

GEORGE: Oh, the big race.

JERRY: Yeah.

GEORGE: Yes, yes,.

LOIS: You were there?

GEORGE: Yes, sure, surely was. Yeah, I'll remember that day. Well I'll never forget it because that was the day that I uh, lost my virginity to Miss. Stafford, the uh, voluptuous home room teacher.

DUNCAN: Miss Stafford?

GEORGE: Yes, yes, you know I was in detention and she came up behind me while I was erasing the blackboard . . .

JERRY: George!

GEORGE: But I digress. Let me see, now. You were standing at one end of the line and I was right next to you. And I remember we were even for like, the first five yards and then , BOOM,...You were gone.

JERRY: Did I get a head start?

GEORGE: Head start, oh no absolutely not.

[BartHanson]

"That's not going to be good for business."
"That's not going to be good for anybody."