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#61
03-20-2006, 10:16 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] This sounds great 4_2_it. I think all kids need strong values and open communication with their parents. I have a son not a daughter, but I think a lot about what I'm going to say to him about sex and when. I think maybe the best way for your daughter to be protected is for us to instill the same values in our sons, so that they will treat the women they interact with in their lives with respect. [/ QUOTE ] Are you a girl? [/ QUOTE ] You are obsessed. 
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#62
03-20-2006, 10:19 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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No, we are already in a society where "just give them more stuff" is equated with being a loving and actively involved parent. [/ QUOTE ] Sad, but true. If only my parents would have let us be the first on the block to have MTV or an Intellivision game system maybe I would feel differently today [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
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#63
03-20-2006, 10:27 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] Girls (and boys) at that age don't really know where money comes from, so how can you expect them to be responsible for something like that. They know that someone else will eventually pay for it. [/ QUOTE ] Don't be ridiculous, I had a mobile phone at 14 and was very aware that I'd better not create too large a bill, because while I wouldn't be forced to pay it that month (due to not being able to), I certainly wouldn't get my phone back for a long time. 14 year olds are not 5. [/ QUOTE ] You are very wrong here. I've known MANY college girls who run up hundreds of dollars in phone bills a month, sometimes more than a grand. Whether they can afford to do it has little to do with it. Kids at this age, and sometimes for a lot longer, may swagger a good deal, but in general they are not all that confident, especially because they live in such a bit*chy, high peer-pressure social circle. They feel a strong need to establish and maintain ties, to reassure themselves of their place in their social circle. Chatting on the phone is an excellent, convenient, and very low pressure way to do it. It's often easier to get to know people better chatting on the phone with them than being face to face, in the same way many people find it much easier to talk about all kinds of things on the internet than they do in person. Social connections feel especially fragile and vital to kids growing up who don't really know who they are or what they're worth yet. Just like sometimes they screw to find out whether they're lovable, they also yap yap yap. The real price to be paid for spending huge amounts of time working their social connections is not necessarily either important or determinative for them. They just know what they need emotionally. And not just 14 year olds; 25 year old women can be just like this too.
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#64
03-20-2006, 10:29 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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As a father, the classic line to use with your daughters young suitor is: "Junior, I follow the Golden rule in reverse when it comes to my daughter. It's kinda like this, if you make HER cry, I will make YOU cry. Do you understand? Good, cause I'd to explain where I'll put my dick if you [censored] her". The only downside is if the boy is a smart ass enough to ask a question like "So If I give her oral sex ..........." LLL [/ QUOTE ] heheh, very cute
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#65
03-20-2006, 10:35 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] You don't have to answer this but what would be the ideal thing you would like a guy to say to you when taking his daugher out. Just for my curiosity if you want to answer [/ QUOTE ] I am looking at how you present yourself. Do you look me in the eye while we are talking? Do you appear nervous or disheveled? [/ QUOTE ] Dude, what 13 year old kid wouldn't be nervous? He might well be nervous as hell just because he's going out on a date, regardless of whether you had even entered the room. I've always been afraid to take a lie detector test because I would probably test as being guilty of EVERY accusation just because I was so nervous about being asked. Heck, I would probably be worried about my daughter being in the hands of a smooth teenager than a nervous one. [ QUOTE ] Be prepared to talk about yourself. What do you like to do? Sports is a good ice breaker. College/job is a plus. [/ QUOTE ] A 13, 14, 15 year old kid is going to talk with any kind of clue about college? Or have a job? [ QUOTE ] Basically I want to know that my precious bundle of joy can expect to have a safe, enjoyable evening. I trust her judgment, so I am not worried about you getting too far without her approval in the physical contact department, I am just making sure that you aren't a psychopath. [/ QUOTE ] Fair enough. But it would be a pretty weird or unearthly slick little 15 year old who could confidently entertain you by talking about college, or not be kind of nervous and jerky. You might as well ask him to solve a rubik's cube on a short timer. [ QUOTE ] Most of this applies to a 16 year old, but I hope you can take something useful from it. When my daughter turns 18, I recognize that I have to let her live her life. [/ QUOTE ] Not to criticize, but I wonder. We'd all like to envision ourselves having the maturity and aplomb necessary regarding such things, but I'm sure I'd think of her just as much as my daughter when she's 18 as when she's 17.
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#66
03-20-2006, 10:37 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] No, we are already in a society where "just give them more stuff" is equated with being a loving and actively involved parent. [/ QUOTE ] Sad, but true. If only my parents would have let us be the first on the block to have MTV or an Intellivision game system maybe I would feel differently today [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] I'm sure if they would have let you shut yourself up in your room with a television or play Nintendo all day you would today be the world's happiest multiple Nobel prizewinner.
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#67
03-20-2006, 10:39 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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I find it amusing that people get so hyped up about a daughter not being given text messaging. This is not one of the more important things in life. Maybe it comes in somewhere around the inhumanly barbarous notion of a kid not having a television in her room. It must be like living in a siberian gulag! [/ QUOTE ] It's different, not having a TV in your room doesn't cut you off from communicating with your friends the way they prefer to communicate with one another.
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#68
03-20-2006, 10:41 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Girls (and boys) at that age don't really know where money comes from, so how can you expect them to be responsible for something like that. They know that someone else will eventually pay for it. [/ QUOTE ] Don't be ridiculous, I had a mobile phone at 14 and was very aware that I'd better not create too large a bill, because while I wouldn't be forced to pay it that month (due to not being able to), I certainly wouldn't get my phone back for a long time. 14 year olds are not 5. [/ QUOTE ] You are very wrong here... [/ QUOTE ] I don't think I am, but whatever. It seems unnecessarily harsh to pre-emptively refuse to allow someone to have a phone because they are going to run up an enormous bill. Surely you can accept that at least some people have the self-control not to do something as stupid as that and that (unless one oversized phone bill is going to put you in serious financial difficulty) you should remove the phone as a punishment rather than just not allowing one in the first place?
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#69
03-20-2006, 10:53 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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[ QUOTE ] I find it amusing that people get so hyped up about a daughter not being given text messaging. This is not one of the more important things in life. Maybe it comes in somewhere around the inhumanly barbarous notion of a kid not having a television in her room. It must be like living in a siberian gulag! [/ QUOTE ] It's different, not having a TV in your room doesn't cut you off from communicating with your friends the way they prefer to communicate with one another. [/ QUOTE ] I think a t.v. cuts more people off from more things than just about anything ever invented. As to text messaging being a preferred way to communicate with one another, I'm sure teenagers communicate with each other constantly in all kinds of ways, and are not socially crippled without every latest communication possibility. Heck, they still have the phone, the net, and talking to each other in person, like I hear those ancient Americans used to.
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#70
03-20-2006, 10:56 PM
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Re: When you have a daughter....
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It would be used to kill any of the pedophiles, rapists, etc that have become more and more prevelent in American society. I wouldnt bother depending on the US justice system to come up with a punishment. [/ QUOTE ] Yo Frothy, settle down. Actually statistics for rape and sexual assault show a steady decline across the board during the 1990s to today. US Dept of Justice
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