a crash course in prenups

[guids]

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meh, keep treating the women in your life like barefooted housewives, Im doing just fine.

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Riiight. When did you stop beating your girlfriend?

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talk about class.


I dont get this mentality really. You dont respect women enough to maybe realize that they make their own choices, and that you need to "take care of them" after a divorce because they are too frail and stupid to make a go of it alone..and Im the misogynist? Once a vow is broken, I dont feel it is my responsibility to take care of anyone but blood. A divorce is going to be no fault of my own, when I love a girl (and it has happened once btw), Im a sucker and will do anything for her to make it last, Im naive this way, but if god forbid she just wakes up not happy and wants to leave me, and counseling etc doesnt work, than I wash my hands.

[guids]

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the thing is, maybe most of the guys that are so vehmently disagreeing with me plan on treating their women like slaves and might feel the need to compensate out of guilt after the fact. I dont. I plan on helping with chores, cooking, etc., no matter what the situation or however many hours I work, I dont think that any woman should have to do 100% of teh "household chores".


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I call hogwash. The behavior you are describing of "I plan on helping with chores..." is the precise opposite of "what's mine is MINE and keep your cotton-picking hands off of it and cmere so I can dole out your grocery budget for a week". That will spill over into other parts of your marriage as well.

"Well the house is YOUR department. I earned the g.d. money to pay for your fancy house and your fancy car with the fancy antilock brakes so your kids would be safe. BTW, I noticed you put 10 extra miles on the car I bought you this week. Where did you go? Oh, you bought new soccer cleats? I told you I'D buy the new soccer cleats. Where is the receipt for that? That's coming out of your household allowance since you up and bought them without checking with me first. Also, you exceeded your minutes on the phone I bought you. Did you REALLY need to call the nail salon this week? How much of my money did you spend there this month?"

[img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

<font color="white">No, of course you wouldn't behave that way, but it's the attitude you're taking in the thread. Put down the spreadsheet.</font>

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call BS all you want, but this is how I was raised. whats mine is not mine I NEVER SAID THIS. Whats mine is ours...WHILE WE ARE MARRIED. she can do whatever she wants w/ it imo, I plan on having more than enough so she can. If I cant provide happiness for her, and we cant work it out, than I wont have a twinge of guilt for not supporting her after the fact, because I plan on doing everything I possibly can during the marriage to make her as happy as possible.


you people seem to have it stuck in your heads that Im bitter about having to pony up the money. IM NOT! I cant wait to find the girl that I can do all this for, IM PLANNING 10 YEARS IN ADVANCE FOR IT. But I dont want to be taken advantage of if she isnt in it for love.

[Godfather80]

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meh, keep treating the women in your life like barefooted housewives, Im doing just fine.

[/ QUOTE ]

Riiight. When did you stop beating your girlfriend?

[/ QUOTE ]

talk about class.


I dont get this mentality really. You dont respect women enough to maybe realize that they make their own choices, and that you need to "take care of them" after a divorce because they are too frail and stupid to make a go of it alone..and Im the misogynist? Once a vow is broken, I dont feel it is my responsibility to take care of anyone but blood. A divorce is going to be no fault of my own, when I love a girl (and it has happened once btw), Im a sucker and will do anything for her to make it last, Im naive this way, but if god forbid she just wakes up not happy and wants to leave me, and counseling etc doesnt work, than I wash my hands.

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You don't even realize how cliche your conversational style is. Best of luck.

[guids]

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[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
meh, keep treating the women in your life like barefooted housewives, Im doing just fine.

[/ QUOTE ]

Riiight. When did you stop beating your girlfriend?

[/ QUOTE ]

talk about class.


I dont get this mentality really. You dont respect women enough to maybe realize that they make their own choices, and that you need to "take care of them" after a divorce because they are too frail and stupid to make a go of it alone..and Im the misogynist? Once a vow is broken, I dont feel it is my responsibility to take care of anyone but blood. A divorce is going to be no fault of my own, when I love a girl (and it has happened once btw), Im a sucker and will do anything for her to make it last, Im naive this way, but if god forbid she just wakes up not happy and wants to leave me, and counseling etc doesnt work, than I wash my hands.

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You don't even realize how cliche your conversational style is. Best of luck.

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no, I totally understand how cliche and naive is, but this is how I want it, Im in it for the long haul or nothing, you can go to your free love douche bag hippy commune and have all the free love you want, Ill keep the family unit intact.

[kidcolin]

guids can rub some people the wrong way, but at least he's not a troll. I have no clue where you pulled the gf beating comment out from.

[Godfather80]

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guids can rub some people the wrong way, but at least he's not a troll. I have no clue where you pulled the gf beating comment out from.

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I pulled it from quids assertion that I "want my women barefoot and in the kitchen". This assertion is an example of a cliched rhetorical technique. So I responded in kind with another cliched classic: the loaded question.

I can't believe I have to explain the concept of a "loaded question", but here goes:
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A "loaded question", like a loaded gun, is a dangerous thing. A loaded question is a question with a false or questionable presupposition, and it is "loaded" with that presumption. The question "Have you stopped beating your wife?" presupposes that you have beaten your wife prior to its asking, as well as that you have a wife. If you are unmarried, or have never beaten your wife, then the question is loaded.

Since this example is a yes/no question, there are only the following two direct answers:

"Yes, I have stopped beating my wife", which entails "I was beating my wife."
"No, I haven't stopped beating my wife", which entails "I am still beating my wife."
Thus, either direct answer entails that you have beaten your wife, which is, therefore, a presupposition of the question. So, a loaded question is one which you cannot answer directly without implying a falsehood or a statement that you deny. For this reason, the proper response to such a question is not to answer it directly, but to either refuse to answer or to reject the question.

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[Klompy]

Isn't guids entire point that he'd be fine with the woman still working and having the kids at day care ect if she wanted to? This way she wouldn't be giving up any earning power, so now if she wants to stay home and take care of the kids it's her own choice in giving up the potential money that she could save up in case of a divorce?

[kidcolin]

god,

Yeah, you're an idiot. His remark, while cliche, is just guids way of saying screw off, and it made at least some semblance of sense regarding the conversation. Based on the discussion, "beat your girlfriend" made about as much sense as "thumb rape a retard".

[Godfather80]

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god,

Yeah, you're an idiot. His remark, while cliche, is just guids way of saying screw off, and it made at least some semblance of sense regarding the conversation. Based on the discussion, "beat your girlfriend" made about as much sense as "thumb rape a retard".

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Oh, then this response to you is just my way of saying screw off. Based on the discussion, your comments are irrelevant.

[DrewDevil]

VR, I am not trying to diminish or minimize the effort and hard work it takes to run a household and take care of kids, but from a purely economic standpoint, you could hire two full-time live-in nanny/housekeeper types for $60-80K who could take care of all the household chores you mentioned.

From an intrinsic value point of view, what stay at home moms do is very valuable. But from an economic standpoint, it's probably not worth nearly as much as the primary breadwinner is earning.