Stupidest girlfriend/fiance/wife arguments?

[gusmahler]

My wife is out of town and needs directions so she calls me. I go to Google Maps and find the correct exit and directions she needs to take. I then go to the kitchen and eat dinner. 30 minutes, I get back to the den and find that my phone had been ringing. I call her and she tells me that, although I told her to take a left, she was supposed to take a right. She was lost for like 15 minutes and couldn't contact me. Then she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore.

She didn't talk to me the rest of that day or the day after, all because Google maps said to take a left when she should have taken a right.

[Tennenbaum]

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I'm majorly jacked up at this point so I pass out in the passenger seat. An unknown time later I come to for a second, look out the windshield, and see rows of wheat flying all around the car. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on before I screamed, "Betsy, get back on the [censored] road!" She had gotten lost, freaked out, ran off the road, and was now plowing through a wheat field.

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I just started busting out laughing at this!

[Knight Vision]

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Reading this thread is making me question my heterosexuality.

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Word. Go gay and trip report the arguments you have with your boyfriend. BR says gay arguments >>> straight arguments.

[Sponger.]

I used to mumble stuff in my sleep. I once woke up to her crying.

[Hopey]

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I dont know I wasn't really listening anyway.

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yeah man, she sounds really psycho...dunno why a quality guy like yourself puts up with such nonsense.

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That was me making an attempt at second or third level sarcarsm, and also throwing out a Dumb and Dumber reference. Too obscure?

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I LOL'ed at both your OP and Alobar's response to it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[usaftrevor]

EDIT: I had a long story written out, but decided upon cliffnotes to protect the innocent.

Men will always be selfish [censored], women will always be psychos.

[DrewDevil]

I was only married to my first wife for 2 1/2 years, but in that short time, she instigated some pretty amazing stuff.

She didn't like my mom for some psycho reason and would hover over me pacing whenever I talked on the phone with my mom. One time, it was the day after we had gone to a friend's wedding and my mom was asking who was there, did we have a nice time, did I see so-and-so, etc. After I hung up my wife screamed at me for revealing the private details of our life to my mom and told me it was none of my mom's business what we were doing, who we saw, etc.

While we were married, my brother was in college, and when he would come to town we would try to go to lunch together. When my wife found out I had paid for my brother's lunch, she went freaking ballistic. "We don't support your brother!" "Why aren't your parents paying for your brother's food!" etc., etc. At the time, my wife and I were both practicing law and our take-home pay was more than $9,000 per month. That was when I asked her if she was really, truly insane.

But then she found out that I had dated one of my best girl/friends for a couple of months in high school (some 15 years before my wife and I ever met). We had dated for a couple of months, fooled around a little (never had sex), agreed we were better off as friends, stopped dating, and remained friends ever since. My friend had since married someone else and had 2 kids. When my wife found out we had dated in h.s., she told me I was to sever all contact with my friend and never talk to her or be in the same room with her again, because she didn't want me thinking about those times I used to fool around with her. I told her that I think about them anyway, whether I see her or not. Then my wife told me I needed to "get myself a new wife."

So I did.

[vikefan24]

damn drew.. she sounds fun lol

[vikefan24]

Chris Rock has something to say on this subject.. sorry the quality is so bad, it's still hilarious

[NajdorfDefense]

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Her response, which is a classic line between me and my buds now that I have broken up with her: "Why do you have to be so logical all the time?"


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I've gotten this line a 100 times before, and it gave me a ton of somewhat unhelpful insight on why men and women have such a hard time communiciating.


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Well, I've had two psycho ex's.
Ex1 - smart, Crazy awesome in bed, pyscho crazy outside of it. Too many stories but after dating <6 months she says we have to get married [!] I say not anytime soon, she threatens to kill self, I say 'whatever' she swallows a bottle of painkillers, eff me, I make her puke them all up, ask if I have to call 911 on her, she says no, she's fine. I leave and say we're through. 6 months later she calls me up and tells me what a jerk I was for not marrying her.

Ex2 - We fought so much *everyone* said we were a married couple. Things were fine until the end, but a short list of things we fought about:
size of apt in NYC, location, and the floor we were on
she was upset I made more than her [?!?]
I would go out with my male friends occasionally
trips to vegas - where to stay, where to eat, what Asian restaurants were good, what buffets to avoid for lunch, where to gamble, how much I gambled, where to shop, how come I won't buy her a $20k Mikimoto bracelet, why do I gamble, what kind of car to rent
taking Amtrak v driving from NYC
who should buy the tickets
what shows to see
what to order for dinner/how much I drank
how lame my friends are
I wouldn't go shopping at Saks with her every Sunday during NFL season
cabs v subway v walking to destination
she likes basketball but football is stupid/so's baseball
why I haven't proposed yet
why do we go to stupid bars/clubs/whereever
why did I get stuck in traffic on the belt Parkway at rush hour,
One of the alltime classics, walking home from seeing Phantom on Broadway, winter, very cold, no cabs anywhere, so we walk, decide we want hot cocoa, surprisingly can't find any [pre-SBUX everywhere in NYC] I see a McD's and get one, she refuses to have one there, get home, warm up, she starts a screaming fight I didn't find her an acceptable hot cocoa on the streets.

She broke up with me right before a trip to my parents, moved out [which was fine with me] then was dying to get back with me 3 months later, no chance, called me constantly for 4 years trying to get back, sending me flowers, gifts, sobbing her eyes out if I picked up her call. Etc. Insane.

Many strippers are crazy, but not really worse than most girls I've dated who have MBAs/PhDs.