the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard

[Autocratic]

[ QUOTE ]
Camping about a month ago: Late at night we hear people walking around on the road next to our campsite. They are drunk and some girls yell out "someone walk us to the outhouse we can't see anything!" I rush to go help these girls in distress but someone already showed them which way to go. I yell out "We've got room here if you wanna hang! I just dug a fresh hole!"

[/ QUOTE ]

After reading your posts, your reg. date makes a little more sense.

[KOTLP]

Most of you really suck at this thread and are just morons or douches.

[kipin]

I don't know if this is the most inappropriate thing I have ever said(actually I am sure it isn't, I say a lot of inappropriate [censored] that just kills any and all conversations), but it happened somewhat recently so it comes to mind.

I am at a frat party (ugh) and talking with some chick who I find somewhat attractive. I introduce myself, she introduces herself and says something like: "I'm sorry to say this, but I am horrible with names, and tomorrow I won't remember your name at all" To which I reply: "Yeah don't worry about it, I am horrible with names too, in fact, I've already forgotten yours."

After hearing that, she turned around and stopped talking to me.

Go kipin.

[SoHotRightNow]

I was at a cricket game and sitting on a grass bank which is pretty packed. I'm pretty smashed, kind of lying down/leaning back, and in my peripheral vision I see that the guy sitting to the right of me has one leg shaved, and one leg unshaved. So I turn to a friend and quietly say, "Hey look at that guy, he's got one leg shaved and not the other". My friend tells me to STFU, but curious, I turn and ask the guy why he has chosen to shave only one of his legs. At this point [this should be pretty obvious] I realise that his "shaven" leg is actually prosthetic... Luckily, he realised that I was a drunken idiot rather than a sober douchebag, so he laughed it off rather than taking his leg off and beating me to death with it.

[vin17]

[ QUOTE ]
Most of you really suck at this thread and are just morons or douches.

[/ QUOTE ]
Thread crasher.

[trumpjosh]

[ QUOTE ]
After hearing that someone lost a grandfather in the holocaust, my genuis friend replied,

"I did too. He fell off a guard tower."

[/ QUOTE ]

Outstanding.

[youtalkfunny]

(Typing this post has helped me to realize what an idiot I've been for most of my life. Please, don't call me names when you're done reading this. I've gotten much better at resisting the urge to say everything that pops into my head.)

--I've used the expression, "That's mighty white of you!" exactly once in my life. It was in the local poolroom, in a town with almost no black people. Wouldn't you know it, a black guy was in the room at that moment. Nicest guy you ever met in your life. What are the odds? I'd never said that phrase before--why now?. I felt about two inches tall.

--In fifth grade, we took a field trip to the local Pizza Hut, which included a tour of the kitchen. Pizza Dude pulled out giant bag of flour. The bag looked like one of those giant bags of dry dog food in the grocery store. I was the dope who thought this out loud. Fifth Graders took offense.

--Playing poker at Treasure Island when it first opened. One of the dealers talked like somebody who had lost his voice. Thinking this was a temporary condition, and having experienced such a temporary condition myself before, I suggested to him, "You should try not to talk, your voice sounds terrible." The players glared at me, and I immediately realized that there was nothing temporary about it. Thankfully, the dealer knew what I meant, had a sense of humor about it, smiled, and said, "I don't think that would help."

--Somebody mentioned a poker story about the dealer asking the amputee if he wanted a hand. We've got the "Third Man Walking" rule here in Mississppi, and more than once, I've seen dealers tell wheelchair-bound players, "You'll be the third man walking."

--I'm a little kid. My parents take us out to eat at York Steak House. While we're eating, a teenage busboy taps my little sister on the shoulder (she's six years old), and asks her to crawl under the table to retrieve a spoon or something that was on the floor. I'm seven, and even I realize that this kid is f***ing up. My older brothers and I look at our parents, expecting them to tell this kid to buzz off, but they do nothing. My sister doesn't care, she jumps down and gets whatever it was the kid needed.

As the busboy leaves, my father tells him, "Hey, Chief, next time get down there and get it yourself, or I'll give you a boot in the ass!"

There were a lot of spit-takes from the nearby tables.

[szw]

ytf,

those were really tame.

[ElDuque]

[ QUOTE ]
I was at a cricket game and

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....i quit reading your post

[nath]

I have drank or smoked away most of my memories of these stories from college, but if I remember some I'll let you know