I :heart: my penith, and so do you!!! (NC Thread)

[bravos1]

Awesome Jax!!

Hit Bay101 again today and played 6/12 because the list for 8/16 was already 30 names deep. I talk up floorman and get into a 6/12 in about 15 minutes.... score!

5 hrs at 6/12 and I leave up $206, not nearly as balla as your score, but still solid. I did get sucked out in a massive ~$300 pot when my set of 8s got squashed by runner runner straight by some moron who called 3 cold w/ JTo on a 268 rainbow flop. We went 3 handed to SD and the other guy had 66.. I cried a little tear as I counted Sklansky $$ instead of real $$.. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[bravos1]

Well FT is back up finally, but I'm going to bed. Good news for Jay though as I am about 1/2 way through his session review. Bads news for Jay, [Ricky Ricardo voice]Jay, you got some 'splainin to do![/Ricky Ricardo voice]

[inferno]

happy bday miles

[tyler_cracker]

I started writing up a narrative last night, but got bored because the narration was boring. Really you just need the key events.

Shadow is in town with fellow Davidsonian dc_wildcat. Wildcat is a low limit donk like me, so we got to play 4/8 together at Bellagio while Shadow sat in the 30/60.

Shadow's table featured some regular from the 60/120 on monkey tilt playing something like 100/100. Shadow was card dead, though, and broke even for most of the session. At one point, he was down exactly 1 SB + 1 BB.

Our table was pretty good, but we were both pretty card dead as well. We were short-handed for a while, which is always nice (especially for wildcat, who plays 6max). We get a couple new players, one of whom is an old woman i recognize. I don't remember where i've seen her before, but my spidey-senses tell me she's going to be a cantakerous nit.

I get to test my read soon when a couple of guys in cowboy hats wander over to our table. One is a young guy, the other is quite old. The older guy has a stack of red and a bunch of silver (dollar coins), probably from the blackjack tables. Basically, this is exactly the kind of guy i want sitting in the game.

The old guy is a little uncertain about protocol. He is probably intimidated by playing poker in a casino. Of course, cantankerous nit woman begins to bark orders at him ("put all your chips on the table. it's your turn to post the blind. four dollars. protect your hand."). I resist the urge to strangle her.

Old guy luckboxes his starting $60 up to about $180 before the table breaks. The old guy wants to keep playing. Wildcat and i would be happy to oblige him, but the floor will only keep the table open with full rake. Lame!

One hand from this table to demonstrate its awesomeness. Cantakerous Old Nit is UTG and limps, a couple other people limp, CO raises, Button calls, and SB folds. I call with A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] in the BB. Nit now limp-reraises(!), everyone calls, and i call getting 17:1.

Flop is a bunch of garbage with 1 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. Nit bets, 4 callers, and i peel with just my backdoor flush draw, getting 24:1 and closing the action. (Dude, my A outs are totally worth like .0005 outs each!). Turn bricks, i c/f, Nit ends up showing down AA. Standard.

Our new table is just as good, plus it features a retarded drunk. RD gets yelled at by *three* separate dealers not to splash the pot after throwing semi-randon number of chips all over the board, the stacks opposite him on the table, and the bets of the players sitting next to him.

The guy on my right notices that when new dealers push in, most of them lay down a towel before they take the seat. The guy asks one of our dealers why they do this. The dealer simply says, "Butt sweat." There is a pause as everyone swallows the vomit in their mouths. "If i had known that was the answer," my neighbor says, "i wouldn't have asked the question." Amen to that, brother.

The table starts to get tight and bad, and i have sucked out enough times to be up a little for the session, so i pull the plug. Shadow, Wildcat, and i take a little break and a walk before i drive home.

We end up on the pedestrian bridge between Bellagio and Ballys overlooking Las Vegas Blvd. and Flamingo Rd. We watch the Bellagio fountains and wish that Faith Hill had never been born ("this kiss this kiss!" etc.). I see a couple of motorcycle cops pulling onto the island between the straight and right-turn traffic on eastbound Flamingo. I point them out to Shadow and Wildcat. "Is that one smoking a cigarette?" He is.

It turns out these guys are hiding on the island so they can pull people over as they run the red light making a left turn off of LVB onto Flamingo going towards I-15. The first time, two cars run the light, so both cops take off and pull them both over. Pwnd.

During this, wildcat and i retell another story from our first table of the evening. Cantankerous Old Nit has just prompted me that it is my turn to post the big blind. "Your big, sir," she tells me.

"Thanks, ma'am. I don't get to hear that from women very often." A couple people chuckle, then Wildcat turns to me and says, "That has two levels." Then his eyes light up: "Wait! It has *three* levels."

So end the Thursday Night shenanigans for me.

Tonight, i head over to Wynn around 11 to meet up with Shadow. Wildcat is off trying to pick up women. Shadow is too big a degenerate gambler and too in love with his new giiiiiirlfriend for this, so he sits in the 30/60. He apparently played for a while with High Stakes 2+2er Barry. He also got stuck quite a bit and moved down to the 15/30.

Before we go for a snack break, we watch Barry play HU 20/40 BOTE[1] for a little while. As this is happening, a big dude wearing a Red Sox hat walks in. The non-Barry guy yells, "Joe Not-so-short!" and they man-hug. Shadow is like, "omg it's Joe Tall." I can tell that Shadow is having a fanboy moment and wants to say hi ("I can see you have a half-chub from here," i tell him), but he chickens out and we flee to the Terrace Cafe for some overpriced and mediocre breakfast items. To be fair, Shadow's eggs and toast were pretty good; the hashbrowns and sausage i bummed off him were not so good.

We go back and Joe is still there, so Shadow introduces himself and they chat, and then Barry comes over and they chat. Oh, and 2+2er goofball is there too. I also see a dealer from the Gold Coast sitting in the 4/8. All of this makes me feel important, even though i am not.

I head back to my game to play an orbit, mostly because i hate being the guy who leaves his chips at the table unattended for an hour, then walks back and racks up. When i post back in (which takes for-[censored]-ever because of a very slow drunk), this woman in the 10 seat -- who is hopped up on several espressos (which she calls "expressos" presumably because she is an idiot) -- begins to speculate on where i have been. She tells her neighbor she thinks i went to go jack off.

I'm not entirely sure i heard her correctly, so i say, "where do you think i went?" She won't repeat her initial observation, which makes me quite certain of what she must have said. Dozens of responses flow through my head, but i eventually just say, "i went to eat. I got some hasbrowns and sausage."

The guy on my left says, "is that what they're calling it now?" Chuckle chuckle.

I finish my orbit, rack up, and say, "Well, i'm going to go home and masturbate. Good luck everyone." This gets a few laughs.

Shadow has come up behind me during this and is like, "wtf? filthy mouth! why did you say that?" Shadow was not at the table for the initial events, plus he's the only one in the conversation who can reasonably guess that i *am* going to go home and masturbate.

"Look, i didn't start it," i tell him as we walk away. The drunk at the table is yelling after me some nonsense about using a dry rub. "Like they use on prime rib!!" I look back once to verify that he is still, in fact, talking to me, then cash out my chips. +28 BBs bitches!

More tomorrow, i'm sure.

[1] badugi, omaha/8, triple draw 2-7, stud/8

[goofball]

"I couldn't quite finish, I came back to look for some help"

*look at her suggestively*

[OziBattler]

tyler, I love that story. I hopeshadow serviced u well. actually i take that back. I dont want to [censored] know but enjoy you master bation. I DONT want a trip repot of u SIIHP. oh and unter, banning...wtf?



tyler, give he boys a big pash, take a photo and post it here...teh entire micro wrold wants to see you shadow, getting it on (edit: no, bs....Itake that back). modern probablhy is homophobic but give it to him goot, go on , even if u dont want to...giv it to shadown, tym, holla.
hello hello, im at a place called vertigo. U2 = the nuts.

Z (hi Jay)

ps I played 6max tnoight. 1.2k of 0.1/0.2 or lower whilst drnkin beers...9.9/100 BB. if it werent fort the awesomess learing ive don at FR id play 6max ft. hoola hello, im at a place called vertigo.. U2. love that band. hlla

[HouseCalls]

[ QUOTE ]
Z (hi Jay)


[/ QUOTE ] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[OrigamiSensei]

"I don't get to hear that from women very often."

Gold. I nominate this for the next NC thread title.

PS - I don't get to hear that from women very often either, but unfortunately in my case it's strictly due to, ahem, inadequacies. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[OziBattler]

I am Bender...does better when drinking. tyler, shadow, modern, sry for any offence that comes out of the previous drunkern post....if it makes you feel better then I will tell you my head is thumping and I got like all of 4 hrs sleep before the kiddies woke me up [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

fwiw I started at 2c/4c and worked my way up to 10c/20c [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. hurrah 4 me.

[mvoss]

Hey Rev. Good Will,

I don't think you lack beer sophistication.

As a fellow beer lover (hey that doesn't sound right), I can tell you that although I like a lot of different beers I really don't like the IPA's. The reason is that I don not enjoy the intense hobbs(spelling) flavor. The Leffe's are nice but nowhere really good and the Hoegardens are nice as well if you're just looking to get really drunk instead of actually enjoying your beer. If you want really good European beer you'll have to do some further investigations. If you like Stout I highly recommmend the Norwegian Nøgne Ø eventhough I'm Danish and hate F'ing Norwegians.

BTW could anyone tell me what the Z is for in ZOMG and what does YMMV stand for, thank you?

I'm MF'ing drunk and proofread this like 13 times, I suck.