A really stupid girl problem

[bisonbison]

OK, in conclusion, i'm going to say it again to her down the road (at a better time).

I'm sure she's dying from anticipation.

[Go_Blue88]

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guids,

If this dude doesn't love this girl after 2 years, why the [censored] is he still with her?

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I dunno, maybe he is waiting to see if real love develops? maybe he is happy otherwise and cares for her, enjoys the sex, but understands he is young and they probably wont end up together, maybe he is waiting for something better to come along. could be a bunch of different reasons.

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id say all those reasons except for the "wait for something better."

ive dated lots of random girls n she's way cooler/calm than anyone i've met. any girl who can handle her boyfriend losing 10,000 dollars while we watch Titanic (OMG NOW I'M CREEPY, IMMATURE, AND GAY) is pretty cool IMO.

FWIW i didn't like titanic, but i do like some chick flicks. discuss.

[Check_The_Nuts]

wow talk about being concerned about nothing. Think about it from her point of view, boyfriend of 2 years says "I love you" when he's wasted? Big [censored] deal.

this seems more like a huge brag that you didn't have to say I love you for 2 years of dating!!!

[MicroBob]

FWIW - my GF's first "I love you" came when she was wasted too.
It wasn't 2 years into the relationship though.

[DrewDevil]

I don't think this is a bad question at all. It's certainly okay to say "I love you" to your GF and it's certainly okay not to. If it's not causing problems either way, shouldn't be a big deal.

The only potential problem is if what you mean by "I love you" is not the same as what she understands it to mean.

For example, if you mean "I love the way your ass looks in blue jeans and the way you suck the cum out of my balls every day"

but she thinks you mean "I am Westley and you are Buttercup and this is a storybook fairytale and we are going to be married and be togetha foreva"

then you may have a problem.

If you mean "I am Leonidas and THIS IS SPARTAAA and I will protect you, my Queen"

but she is thinking "I love having someone to buy me dinner and presents while I get properly railed by the broke-ass drummer from that band I saw that one time"

then you may have a problem.

If you don't know what you think it means, you may have a problem.

The fact that neither of you said it in 2+ years may be a problem, if one of you has been wanting to say it but feared humiliation and rejection.

So I don't really have any advice.

[Terrabon98]

Hey OP is a cool guy, get off his back.

But seriously Mike...

Pretend.
Like.
It.
Never.
Happened.

[The Yugoslavian]

blue,

It's tough not to allow yourself to love someone unless you want to spend the rest of your life with them. IMO the barriers to opening oneself to love need not be so constrictive.

Love has both eternal and momentary qualities. You get to decide what it means for you personally...but it really is a useful word to be able to use to express/communicate the momentary qualities associated with it rather than just eternal ones.

You definitely seem to have an extremely common fear to give yourself more fully to your partner.

Sounds more like you are with this chick b/c of habit and getting along well....possibly b/c you think having a g/f is simply better than not having one. But don't just assume that down the road you will magically love her...there is no "better time" if you're actually in love with her.

You still haven't answered my question. I assume you are not in love with your g/f. Which is fine, but realize it's important to actually admit this to yourself rather than make excuses/rationalizations about it.

Yugoslav

[gumpzilla]

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fwiw, I agree 100% and dont get the hate. the people that show the immaturity are the ones who say I love you and dont even know what love is, or whether they really mean it (90% of college kids). It takes more maturity to not get pressured into saying it if you dont truly mean it.

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Yes, there's something to this. But at the same time, two years seems like a long [censored] time to be dating a girl with what appears to be the mentality "yeah, she's pretty cool, I guess." I haven't been in that situation, but I'm pretty sure that at some point in there I'd be looking for something else. EDIT: Also, as far as not knowing what love is, does one ever? It seems to me like it's going to be personal and different for everybody, and so there's always room to question whether what you have is deep enough to measure up to the standards of others.

[LonesomeFugitive]

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If she's been your gf for 2 years and that was the first time you said I love you? You are an alpha male

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FYP

[Vehn]

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ohhh also i'd say we've been dating exclusively er whatever fer a lil over a year. i doubt that changes anything though.

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wtf? so she was your gf for a little over a year? Because gf means exclusive. You are like bizzaro relationship man.