worst sexual experience you've ever had

[FooSH]

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you guys suck if you are getting bad head. Take the girls finger or thumb and suck on it and show her how its done.

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r u openly gay??? serious question..

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You can cut the repressed man love in here with a blunt [censored]. What would you do, draw her a diagram?

[Quagmyer]

make her watch a good porn is the obvious answer

[The Hag]

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I still have the best, but you will never hear it. Hahahaha.


Actually, it's not that great, but I'm a prude so it really grosses me out to think about it.

Cliff's notes:

-I drive 3 hours to [censored] an internet girl who ends up being 5 years older than her picture.
-She has floppy [censored]
-She has a jungle downstairs (which grosses me out a little)
-We have terrrrrible chemistry in the half hour we spent together pre-sex.
-She reveals she's on her period (which absolutely disgusts me) but I soldier on since I drove 3 [censored] hours.
-I find out her baby is sleeping in a crib right next to her bed which we are [censored] in. Put this together with the previous point, and I have to reaaaally concentrate on happy thoughts to maintain a 75% erection.
-She pisses on my hand.
-I nearly puke, and drive 3 hours home with piss on my hand and blood on my dick.

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lol, You'll never hear it.... but.....

quality post Grey. many a lol.

[Dave Coulier]

This one time my uncle was touching my bum and...

But on a serious note, is any sex necessarily bad sex as the title indicates? I guess Ive never truly had a horrible sexual experience that would deprive me of any sexual gratification. Although I have had my share of less than stellar encounters..

I was talking to this black chick on the interweb for a couple of weeks or so and one night she wanted to come over late. So I went for it. During this time she was doing what any normal internet chick does, which is lying about her looks. She made herself out to be a fairly good looking girl. Boy was I surprised when I got too her house to pick her up. The girl was about 5'3 and 225 or so with the standard mess of nappy hair..I should have just drove on and never talked to her again, but I was still horny enough to stab it a few times, so I stopped anyways and took her home with me.

I quickly ran inside and told my brother and friend at the time to go downstairs for a few minutes. I told them I was too ashamed for them to see this girl. They do as I asked, and I go bring her in. Head to my room and I feel her titties up a lil, give her a little finger action and get a mediocre bj from her. Then its time for the finale, which consisted of a few minutes of unpassionate intercourse. Im surprised I got off so fast considering she was doing very little for me. No more than ten minutes later, Im running her back to her house and never talking to her again. Ill never forget when she asked me, "Why didn't you kiss me when we had sex." on the way home, which isn't the first time ive been asked that...

I really need to quit [censored] ugly broads, but Ive got low standards and can only think straight after Ive gotten off.

[terp]

this story comes courtesy of tim, another bouncer at a bar where i worked in college.

tim was kind of a meathead who i think got into school with a football scholarship but proceeded to suck at school and football and just never left college park, but ended up bouncing at all the bars. apparently there was some kind of thing with him and a manager at another bar and she told him at one point she broke up with boyfriend (other manager at that bar) and asks for sex. this was not true, but no matter.

they go to his place and he's [censored] her doggy style and he's fingering her ass and she asks for anal. he surveys his bedside while keeping up with both other pursuits and realizes there is no lube, but there is a spit jar. he picks it up with his free hand and tips it into her ass crack and goes for it.

tim told everyone about it and she is now known as dip spit.

[funnymunny]

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Standard Friday night round where I live!

[iwantbooze]

nothing compared to everyone else, but forgot to put handbrake on when parked on slight incline. didn't notice and ended up hitting the car in front setting off alarms, they end up coming out of their house and going freaking nuts.

[Jonezycat]

None of my sexual experiences are too bad. I let the girls know upfront.. "It's a race baby, and I plan on winning!"

[Offspring6767]

House party after a high school formal, which I didn't go to.

I'm hooking up with this chick, and we are both really, really hammered. She gives me head for like 10 minutes and I'm so drunk I know its gonna take forever to bust. I decide I'm down to [censored], but we have no condom. So she lays down on the bathroom floor and I'm trying to get it in, but its super dry, so I proceed to finger her. After about 20 seconds I look up, and she is totally passed out. I wake her ass up and demand that she finish the job. I probably got head for like 45 minutes, and then she says she is cold, so we go out to her car. I continue getting head, and eventually I just had to wack myself off and skeet in her mouth. Her response was "that's gnarly" and then passed out, after asking for gum. I go into a room of 20 people and tell her friends that she needs gum. I think justice was served.

Fast forward a few weeks later, another one of my friends is having a house party. This time I come prepared with a condom. Once again, same chick is very hammered, as am I. We are hooking up and she is all over me, but once again when I try to get it in it is incredibly dry, and I just can't get my dick in (not enormously big). Eventually, she straight up passes out AGAIN. Now, I am getting sick of this bitch so I give her a facial while shes asleep. I'm sick lol

2 weeks later she calls me saying she has worked on her drinking, and that she doesn't blackout anymore. So us and a few of our friends go to some hookah bar, and we drive back to hookup. I drove so I was sober, she had a few drinks. The main problem was that there was two drunks hooking up in the back, me and the chick, and this other bitch who I will call cockblock. Cockblock bitched the whole ride back about how she wanted to go back to her house, and I made it obvious I didn't care, i was going back to my house. So anyways, we get to my house and we are hooking up. Cockblock continues to complain about how she wants to go, and heads to her car. She proceeds to start honking the horn, and it is about 2 oclock in the morning. The chick I'm hooking up with says she can't leave her friend alone, and my parents wanted me inside, so cockblock succeeded in her goal.

As I write this story I have no idea why I kept hooking up with, or talking with this chick. I hope it never gets worse, but looking at some of the stories, I guess it can.

[Quagmyer]

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Now, I am getting sick of this bitch so I turn her over, anal her, give her a facial while shes asleep. I'm sick lol


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