Unrequited love - what to do?

[nature\\\'s_hated]

Well spotted! No, I never tried to kiss her or anything. I should have. Physical confidence goes a long way. If a guy looks nervous, uncomfortable in his own skin, he's not going to get laid. I just knew I would get a slap in the face / rejected, so never even tried.

Last time I saw her, back in November, we were sitting in a secluded corner of a nightclub and I was thinking "I should try kiss her", but I didn't. We were deep in conversation, as always. I found myself wishing we didn't talk so easily - sometimes the first kiss comes from those awkward lulls in conversation, or when you're with a girl you don't quite get on so well with.




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Never stoned - I don't smoke dope and neither does she.
But yes, when I've told her I've liked her I've either been drunk or it's been by email, never sober and in person.

I guess I know I need to have the final "reject me pls so I can move on" scene with her, but I'd rather do it when I'm back weighing 180lbs than 225lbs, just in case.

I have a friend who gets laid all the time, a pick-up artist. How different we are - I'm wanting to be in love, to meet "the one", he just wants to get laid. How much more successful he is, and ironically how much more likely he is to actually fall in love than I am!




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OP, it seems like you can't communicate honestly unless you're drunk or stoned. You should work on that.

Then let her know that you're interested one more shot - when you're sober and you're prepared, and you can lay out your case to her. If that doesn't work, as it probably won't given what you wrote, then it's time to move on.

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It does seem that you need to relax more when you're around her, instead of acting like she's on a pedestal. Successful women generally would prefer someone be on their their level instead of worshipping them from below. It's probably a combination of that, and your own self-image issues. You'd be more attractive if you acted more attractive. If losing weight helps, go do it instead of moping. Writing the next bestselling novel wouldn't hurt either.

I don't think you mentioned this, but have you actually tried to make a physical move on her at any point? In 9 years?

Failing all of this, you sound like you're British, so you can always move to the states, where your accent will give you +2 out of 10 instantly.

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[Suigin406]

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In the short term, how do I stop thinking about her?


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Its simple. Stop doing it. When you start thinking about, think about something else. Pick up a solitary hobby. Something you do by yourself. Think about that. If you start thinking about her, force your mind to think about said hobby. Or read a lot. Engage your mind in a book and leave it less time to think about the girl.

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yup, do anything u can do to get her out of ur mind...this might take some time though...and hit the gym, it couldn't hurt...

[WilyTilt]

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In the short term, how do I stop thinking about her?


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Its simple. Stop doing it. When you start thinking about, think about something else. Pick up a solitary hobby. Something you do by yourself. Think about that. If you start thinking about her, force your mind to think about said hobby. Or read a lot. Engage your mind in a book and leave it less time to think about the girl.

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yup, do anything u can do to get her out of ur mind...this might take some time though...and hit the gym, it couldn't hurt...

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Winning a WPT title also seems to attract hot women, or at least psycho con-artists...

[Suiteness]

Dude let it go. Let's say, by some kind of unexplicable turn of events she ends up saying yes to you, there's no way in hell she can live up to that ridiculous image of hers that exists in your mind. You're pretty much only setting yourself up for dissapointment.

That's a pretty big 'if' anyways, I seriously doubt she'll ever want to be with you in a meaningful relationship after all that crap that happened between you guys. Have you ever heard of first impressions last forever? Yours was a disaster, and she probably put you in the 'Not getting into my vagina' category right then and there. Also lying to her about being gay won't win you brownie points either.

You messed that up one badly, do yourself a favor and move on. There's tons of women out there, go find one that wants you just as much as you want her.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

I found out yesterday that the elder sister of the girl I'm infatuated with, who I know from parties, is a lawyer at the company where I'm currently killing time doing contract legal PA work. She's in the same department and on the same floor, though I haven't seen her around.

This is 100% coincidence - she must have moved because last time we spoke she worked for another firm.

Curiously, last time I saw the girl I'm infatuated with I told her I was at this firm, and she didn't mention her sister was there too. I was in a different department then, and hopefully will get moved again without bumping into her sister, because that would just be too weird.


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I havn't read all of this thread, but it honestly sounds like you have a stalking problem.

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[edfurlong]

HEY, IS THERE ASS PLAY IN THE OP OR NOT?

[nature\\\'s_hated]

So, I'd be better off becoming obsessed with Brandi Hawibaker?



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In the short term, how do I stop thinking about her?


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Its simple. Stop doing it. When you start thinking about, think about something else. Pick up a solitary hobby. Something you do by yourself. Think about that. If you start thinking about her, force your mind to think about said hobby. Or read a lot. Engage your mind in a book and leave it less time to think about the girl.

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yup, do anything u can do to get her out of ur mind...this might take some time though...and hit the gym, it couldn't hurt...

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Winning a WPT title also seems to attract hot women, or at least psycho con-artists...

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[nature\\\'s_hated]

No.

Where did you get the idea I was fat?



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HEY, IS THERE ASS PLAY IN THE OP OR NOT?

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[edfurlong]

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No.



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Then I'm done with this thread.

You're fat.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

Yes, I think you're right. She "had me at hello". Just as strongly, she decided the first time we met she didn't fancy me, would never fancy me, and the hours we've spent together, the laughs and long conversations, the dinners, the days in the park, the parties, the getting to know me better hasn't changed this and will never change this. Damn.



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Dude let it go. Let's say, by some kind of unexplicable turn of events she ends up saying yes to you, there's no way in hell she can live up to that ridiculous image of hers that exists in your mind. You're pretty much only setting yourself up for dissapointment.

That's a pretty big 'if' anyways, I seriously doubt she'll ever want to be with you in a meaningful relationship after all that crap that happened between you guys. Have you ever heard of first impressions last forever? Yours was a disaster, and she probably put you in the 'Not getting into my vagina' category right then and there. Also lying to her about being gay won't win you brownie points either.

You messed that up one badly, do yourself a favor and move on. There's tons of women out there, go find one that wants you just as much as you want her.

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