Essential Content from "Never Trust Anyone" Thread

[Rottersod]

Great summary. Excellent job.

[Mench]

great summary. what has happened since, i guess update tomo.

i was just at foxwoods for a few days and kind of got to know some regulars in the 5-10 and 10-25 game and this kinda of makes me see what scum some people are. wow.

[TimelessTideless]

This thread needs the raw handhistory reposts. That [censored] was sefat53 style funny

[waffle]

Nice summary.

And 36% WtSD, lol.

[Banditgberg]

wow, i laugh, i cried....

[[Phill]]

Lol @ anyone who thinks Brandi is the one who comes off worst here.

Btw, i posted this in STTF, i figured id put my conclusions in here - if im missing some key piece of info please by all means direct me to it.

It basicly involves a gir who gets in over her head in the seedy world of poker
Bluffthis and a load of other retards bag on her cos she was a stripper
shaniac gets involved pointing out how she is evil because she jumped around a bit and talked fast and took of her shoes twice!!! when he met her
it goes back and forth a bit
lots of retards jump on board and find the idea of her being abused a good joke
the news gets out that she 'stole' 30K from 2+2er Newhizzle
Lots of people rag on her some more
She rags on newhouse and calls him a bad player
Newhouse comes into the thread and reveals he let her on his account and she lost his cash gambling at the high buy in NL games
People ignore Newhouse being retarded for trusting a complete stranger with 30K of his cash and instead rag on her some more
Newhouse reveals she may have attempted suicide, or made a cry for help - she also revealed the origional story to him virtually word for word
People ignore that it is very likely the OP is true as she as told this story to multiple people, and at no point has there been a denial from Capain Tom, Doyle, Todd or any other big name pros implicated in the OP

[DING-DONG YO]

I think I can sum it up well:

They're all retards.

I'm just going to keep to myself if I ever make it big in poker.

[Humble Pie]

Nice synopsis BruinEric. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Humble Pie]

LOL @ you phil. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[tuq]

I wonder exactly what new revelations have increased that thread by 50% over the last day alone? I just don't have time to read it right now.

Anyway, Brown Thumb's two song posts were stellar:

"HAWBAKER [to the tune of "Heartbreaker"]

You promised to teach me poker,
But its over my head
Drownin' me in your huggles
Better leave my bed.

Microwave Thanksgiving dinner, is the least of my inner fantasies.
As bald as Yul Brenner, get the Little Captain away from me

I'm a hawbaker, tubesteaker,
Chip-shanker, don't you mess around with me
I'm a hawbaker, jam maker,
makeup-caker, don't you mess around, no no no

Your Captain set my back on fire
Burnin' outta control
You taught me the ways deception
Now it's back to the pole.

If I could hit my 3 outers, it would fulfill my inner fantasies
The inevitable winner, and yet it will never be.

I'm a hawbaker, tubesteaker,
Chip-shanker, don't you mess around with me
I'm a hawbaker, scam-maker,
account transfer-taker, don't you mess around, no no no

(As for you Tom) You're a roll-taker, mentor faker,
love-taker, don't you mess around with me ...
You're a heartbreaker, dreammaker,
love-taker, heartbreaker!"

and then

"Brandi, You're a Trip By Brown Thumb [to the tune of "Brandy, You're a Fine Girl"]

There's a card room, in Tennessee
Were she plays hundreds of hands for free,
Lonely sailors stop in then go away
But their Captain is here to stay.
There's a girl in this little town
And she cannot lay her gutshots down
They say Brandi buy another rack,
If your broke, take a Lil' Captain in the back.

The rounders say
"Brandi, you're a fine girl
but a good wife you could never be
How can I have a wife that steals from me?

Brandi wears a braided chain
To remind her of the Captain's purple vein.
The day she had her aces cracked, and got a poke right in the back.
He came on a summer's day
He came again, then went astray.
But he made it clear he wouldn't pay
Now her Beamers' towed away.

The rounders say
"Brandi, you're a fine girl
but a good wife you could never be
when your crotch smells like Chicken of the Sea."