My son wants to get laid - Page 6

Lester B · #51 11-17-2006, 11:58 PM

There is a ton of horrible advice in this thread, almost all of which from obvious non-parents. Taking advice from a bunch of kids telling you to chill out because that's what they wish their parents had done is idiotic.

The man to man conversation has to happen. My advice would be to keep it short, and make sure that he knows that sex is an adult decision, with adult consequences. Also he should be aware that no method of prevention is 100% effective; there is always some risk of infection/pregnancy etc. You obviously care about his well being but it may need to be reiterated to him... and of course be willing to answer any questions honestly if he has any (he surely will have questions, he just needs to be able to ask them). Teenagers often feel a world of pressure you may not remember from 20 years ago.

Also, keep in mind that your younger son(s) are paying close attention to this, so make sure your chat doesn't come across as a green light to bang his girlfriend.

One last thing, you said:

[ QUOTE ]
...quit trying to make out in our house.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you actually say this to your son? This is counterproductive to what you are trying to accomplish. This tells your son that what he's doing is inappropriate behavior, which is fundamentally wrong. He has feelings of affection, and he shouldn't be ashamed to express them. Parental instinct steers us toward outright prevention, and maybe in the 1950's that was correct. But we don't live in the 1950's. What he needs to know is that there is a time and a place for everything, and good judgement needs to be exercised.

Hope it goes well for you.

cabbagehead7 · #52 11-18-2006, 01:31 AM

Obvious that you care about your son. Obvious there isnt an absolute correct way to handle this. Have you considered sitting him down at this thread and letting him read everyone's comments.

chesspain · #53 11-18-2006, 11:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You think preventing your kids from having sex in your house will stop them from having sex? LOL brilliant move

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, OP is obviously a douche for not offering the kids booze and cigarettes as well to enjoy in their love nest hideaway down the hall.

chesspain · #54 11-18-2006, 11:44 AM

My biggest concern about the OP is that he's asking this question in OOP, which is like testing the contestants at the "Best in Show" to see how many of them will eat a piece of pizza crust that falls onto the floor.

Mason Hellmuth · #55 11-18-2006, 01:15 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Of course at that age my mother was begging me to have sex simply because it would involve interacting with another human being.

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Whoa, calm down Oedipus.

bkholdem · #56 11-18-2006, 03:45 PM

My son wants to get laid..

No kidding, whose son doesn't lol

JJNJustin · #57 11-18-2006, 06:25 PM

jzpiano · #58 11-20-2006, 01:59 AM

trip report?

greyhawke54 · #59 11-20-2006, 03:42 AM

Judging from the responses on this question I am getting old. Yes, your 16 yr old boy wants to get laid, what 16 yr old doesn't? Yes, he is nearly an adult, but not one yet. You are, and it is your job to be his parent. It is your house and your rules, and he will obey them or face the conseqenses plain and simple. Too many parents feel the need to be their childs friend. Your child has friends, he needs you to be his father, and if that means being a hardass every once and awhile and making them angry with you, well that's how it has to be. You are the one with experience here not him or his girlfriend. I am not saying don't educate him and have a talk with him. Do this it is what he needs most right now. As far as buying him condoms, I cannot disagree with this more, by doing this you are saying that I know I can't stop you and that I have no power over you. You are also giving some degree of consent in doing this. If he thinks that he is ma enough to have sex than he needs to be man enough to buy the condoms himself. I believe that by being firm with him now, and acting like a parent instead of his buddy will not win you any points right now, he will respect you and be thankful when he is older. Remember he has not yet had the life experience to know much about this topic yet, you have.

sternroolz · #60 11-20-2006, 02:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Judging from the responses on this question I am getting old. Yes, your 16 yr old boy wants to get laid, what 16 yr old doesn't? Yes, he is nearly an adult, but not one yet. You are, and it is your job to be his parent. It is your house and your rules, and he will obey them or face the conseqenses plain and simple. Too many parents feel the need to be their childs friend. Your child has friends, he needs you to be his father, and if that means being a hardass every once and awhile and making them angry with you, well that's how it has to be. You are the one with experience here not him or his girlfriend. I am not saying don't educate him and have a talk with him. Do this it is what he needs most right now. As far as buying him condoms, I cannot disagree with this more, by doing this you are saying that I know I can't stop you and that I have no power over you. You are also giving some degree of consent in doing this. If he thinks that he is ma enough to have sex than he needs to be man enough to buy the condoms himself. I believe that by being firm with him now, and acting like a parent instead of his buddy will not win you any points right now, he will respect you and be thankful when he is older. Remember he has not yet had the life experience to know much about this topic yet, you have.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this post. A LOT of the earlier responses are just horrible. Another thing I have discover recently is that a lot of people in their late teens to early 20's really want to do nothing...marginal ambition, marginal life aspirations. Maybe they get good grades, but their life outlook at the moment sucks. They would love NOTHING more than to be able to chill with a willing partner all day long every day in a bedroom where they could watch television and do nothing all day. Not a healthy environment at all. And frankly, its your house...you set the rules.

Your son is 16? Maybe time for him to get a part time job. Or maybe he can do some manual labor for you. And earn enough money to take the girl out on weekends or whatever. If they can't deal with the open doors, I say boot them.

BTW, IMO that applies until he moves out of the house, regardless of age. In the meantime, he can go over to her place, get a motel room, use the backseat of the car, or sneak into your place when you are out(which he will do).