How many 5 year-olds..... - Page 6

gonores · #51 01-18-2005, 01:37 AM

Yes, but you would learn how to defend yourself against a semi-disciplined swarm (don't kick, don't walk backwards, etc.). I'd imagine such info would be critical.

Hoya · #52 01-18-2005, 01:38 AM

Remember, these kids are slow, have bad stamina, and shitty grips. I'd run around for a while kicking the little bastards that got too close and making sure not to get swarmed. Then after they got wore out from chasing me I'd go in and kill them all, screw knocking them out. They'd be too tired to grab me and try to bring me down by that point.

hawkeye · #53 01-18-2005, 01:38 AM

The problem I see with running around or kicking / flailing your legs is the potential for one of the little carcasses strewn about the room to get caught up in your legs. Inevitably, when this happens, the likelihood of a serious ACL or MCL injury is increased.

To avoid this undesirable situation I would most likely fight my way to an edge of the room, and essentially back up near a wall. By doing this I could guarantee that none of the buggers could get behind me and cause damage to my knees. Also, the proximity to the wall would afford you the opportunity to bash the anklebiters' heads against the wall one at a time until they are neutralized.

gonores · #54 01-18-2005, 01:39 AM

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are those UW poker lunches still going on?

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I could be down with that, although they have not been going on for a while.

Justin A · #55 01-18-2005, 01:42 AM

you people are waaay over estimating your strength.

You're underestimating our speed. There is no way 30 kids could corner me to the point where I wouldn't be able to run around them. If this was eight year olds, you'd have a point, but five year olds are very slow, uncoordinated, and weak.

What makes you think any of them would be able to bite you anyway? Are you really going to be moving so slowly that they can get their mouth within biting range? I think the only limiting factor here is the size of the enclosed area. As long as you have room to move around and keep from getting swarmed, the amount of kids should be limitless.

Justin A

Justin A · #56 01-18-2005, 01:45 AM

I think another good question would be how many ten year olds you could take on. Ten year olds at least have some strength and speed. I'm thinking the number would be close to ten. Five year olds are too easy.

Justin A

Justin A · #57 01-18-2005, 01:46 AM

Another question, are we assuming all these five year olds are boys? Or are they mixed?

Justin A

wacki · #58 01-18-2005, 01:50 AM

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What makes you think any of them would be able to bite you anyway?

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When I was an undergrad there was this 100 pound sophmore freak that would get shitfaced off of vodka and start biting me. I would pick her up and throw her onto a couch/bed. She would bounce up like in about 2 seconds and then attack me again. The cycle went on and on. It happened every time she got shitfaced off of vodka. Not once did any of her bites phase me. If her bites couldn't phase me then there is no way a 5 year old's bite would. Well, the ear might be vulnerable. But if you are wearing a cup you will be ok.

wacki · #59 01-18-2005, 01:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Another question, are we assuming all these five year olds are boys? Or are they mixed?

Justin A

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They are prepubescent, does it matter?

Clayton · #60 01-18-2005, 01:54 AM

I don't know about you guys, but this is the funniest thing I've read in months. One of the rare occasions where I can't control laughing out loud. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]