You know you play too much poker if...

[fees]

SUMMARY: (if you are too lazy to read each post)

...you tell the waitress to "ship it!" after you order.

heres one: you subconciously type donkaments after every lol

when you are eating dinner with your parents and you tell your mom the necklace she is wearing is balla

before you make decisions you base them enirely on EV

you attempt to calculate your risk of ruin while speeding

u figure out every purchase in terms of BI's

when you tell the dealer you want to stay in Blackjack you blurt out "check".

you begin to calculate the EV of your decision and say "[censored] it im all in"

On the 16th green, your 10 foot putt spins around the rim of the cup and rests right on the ridge without going in. You yell out: "Bad Beat" and the rest of the foursome look at you like you're a freak.

you're up/down 2 months rent before breakfast

You have this uncontrollable urge to end each sentence with aments.

you try to read what the other person is thinking in every social situation.

You read the word bb gun and think to yourself what the hell is a big blind gun. I did that in a post a couple of months ago.

All your X-Mass gifts come from the PS FPP store.

When you calculate the price of goods in terms of bb/100...
That dvd will only cost me 125hands..

Or when sitting in a meeting, your one spot right of the boss and you consider yourself in the cutoff..

[jerG123]

[ QUOTE ]
And I don't mean sexy dreams about winning in the Big Game to the adulation of your peers and the admiring glances of women. No, I mean ceaseless, pointless dreams about cards turning over again and again and again, to no discernable end and with no discernable outcome.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought I was the only one.

[eviljeff]

you turn on the computer every day just to play poker

[React1oN]

[ QUOTE ]
When you calculate the price of goods in terms of bb/100...
That dvd will only cost me 125hands..

Or when sitting in a meeting, your one spot right of the boss and you consider yourself in the cutoff..

[/ QUOTE ]So awesome.

[IronFly]

you read BBV4LYFE

[ed8383]

When your left eye starts twitching/getting red.

[Spechel EDD]

when you start to open up tables and then notice aspokers avatar and it puts you on mega tilt so you just shut down and go do other stuff for a bunch of hours

[iponnet]

when you call anybody that does something stupid, donkey.

[ike]

[ QUOTE ]

* And I don't mean sexy dreams about winning in the Big Game to the adulation of your peers and the admiring glances of women. No, I mean ceaseless, pointless dreams about cards turning over again and again and again, to no discernable end and with no discernable outcome.

[/ QUOTE ]

Last year I got encephalitis out of nowhere (I was 19 at the time) and was in the hospital really, really sick, like on the verge of a coma, and pumped full of morphine and various other drugs and I had this dream that seemed to go on for days where I'd be dealt a hand and then a flop would show up and I'd have to count my outs. Over and over and over. It was horrible.

[surfdoc]

You login to full tilt(or other large site) from a friends computer with no HUD, open up your regular game, and know the vpip/pfr/AF for over 1/2 of the people at the table anyway.