Need your opinion... Does this wife owe him more?

[piradical]

Katy,
Sadly I have become an idealist; happily also a realist and because of my wife there is no conflict in these two. Shouldn't a marriage be a union without agreements? Can we replace the agreements with a joyful sharing? I guess I don't understand how the time they have shared so far is not the basis for an "agreement" to go on whatever they choose- if the relationship is healthy.
There is an O'Henry short story of a husband who sells his watch to buy combs for his wife, while she sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. Somehow these were still the perfect anniversary presents.

[Colt McCoy]

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps I am playing with semantics, as I will do things I'd rather not; but it is no sacrifice for me.


[/ QUOTE ]
I think playing with semantics is exactly what you're doing. That's the definition of sacrifice. I'm not talking about martyrdom, but in relationships there's compromise and sacrifice, and you're willing to do those because of the joy you give each other.

But what if she asked you to work extra hard for 2-3 years to give her $80k just to do something fun. Would you do it? Maybe you would. But would your wife ever ask you to? Should she? What if she asked you to do it for a vacation for the two of you, but after the money was saved decided she wanted to go on the trip alone?

[ QUOTE ]
Shouldn't a marriage be a union without agreements?

[/ QUOTE ]
Agreements are what marriage or relationship is based on. You've entered into a social contract. Even if you never explicitly state such, you've implicitly bound yourself to all kinds of agreements anytime you enter a relationship. Just because you've agreed to things you enjoy doesn't mean the obligations don't exist.

[piradical]

colt, I can't and don't disagree with what you say; I just think there can be more.

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
I understand that most people don't even make half that much in a year, but again this is a two-income couple (and she has a JD, she can't exactly be on the poverty line). They can't handle $80k in student loans?


[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever paid off $80K in loans? I have, and it SUCKED BALLS. It's $1K a month for 5 years, and it's not like you're building equity in anything.

Sure, you can pay it off over the course of 30 years, or whatever, but to me it felt like a goddam millstone around my neck.

And if wife is choosing a job that pays $40K instead of $120K, and leaving husband with this huge bill, well that's pretty [censored].

[Colt McCoy]

[ QUOTE ]
colt, I can't and don't disagree with what you say; I just think there can be more.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, I agree. If there's not "more" what's the point?

[Mat Sklansky]

This is going to sound crude, but I'll back it up with dollars if necessary.

They will find the disagreements over career decrease rapidly with an increase in fellatio.

I know it sounds crazy, but without knowing this man, I am willing to bet thousands of dollars that fellatio from his wife will fix virtually all complaints about her choice of careers.

[katyseagull]

lol. So many ways I could reply to this.

[Scotch78]

[ QUOTE ]
This is going to sound crude, but I'll back it up with dollars if necessary.

They will find the disagreements over career decrease rapidly with an increase in fellatio.

I know it sounds crazy, but without knowing this man, I am willing to bet thousands of dollars that fellatio from his wife will fix virtually all complaints about her choice of careers.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTD

Scott

PS That's "decade", not "day"

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
This is going to sound crude, but I'll back it up with dollars if necessary.

They will find the disagreements over career decrease rapidly with an increase in fellatio.

I know it sounds crazy, but without knowing this man, I am willing to bet thousands of dollars that fellatio from his wife will fix virtually all complaints about her choice of careers.

[/ QUOTE ]

** Mat S. gets a pass on teh crude. No one else does **
diebitter

[Scotch78]

[ QUOTE ]
deleted by diebitter

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't speak for Mat, but I was thinking more along the lines of every morning. You know, instead of using an alarm clock.

Scott