Female on Paxil, Things have changed

[Doc7]

Um, as explained earlier, I wasn't really 'ready to go' at the time.


Oh, I think I get what you mean now. Ironic, eh? Whatever

[RunDownHouse]

When I think about the things I like doing with my friends (going to bars, watching sports, going to sports, going to sports bars, playing video games, etc), I cannot imagine enjoying myself nearly as much if I did them with a girl, not even my girlfriend of nearly 4 years.

[Doc7]

I have great guy friends with whom I watch football, play roller hockey (multiple nights a week), do engineering homework, play video games, drink (no bar scene for me really), eat meals, etc. Enjoying stuff with my guy friends does not make her any less of the person who I trust the most and appreciate the most.

[benthehen]

Doc, you should check out this guy:

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/fo...amp;highlight=

You can find more similar depressing stories on that forum. All sharing a striking similarity to your story with this girl.

After reading this thread I got a couple of questions for Doc:

1) What exactly are going for? Your current interest is sex. You've already placed an emotional stock in her, professed your love for her, and spent three years of your life trying to get with her. So assuming that you ever have sex with her, it only makes sense that you'll become more emotionally involved and fall deeper in love with her. So is it just sex or a relationship?

2) Are you aware that this relationship is unhealthy? Does her manipulating and sexual teases frustrate and hurt you (especially the other guys she is with)? If so then why don't you stand up for yourself?

3) What the hell is going on with her boyfriends? Your relationship with this girl does not fall under the category of "just friends." If my girlfriend had some close intimate friendship like this with another guy who has been spending the past three years trying to [censored] her, I'd demand that she cut it out and distance herself from this guy (I guess most people would as well.) What do her boyfriends think of you two?

And thanks for such an entertaining thread.

[NickPappagiorgio]

Doc you seriously need to get away from this girl. She is a black widow and will destroy you emotionally. On the other hand, this post is quite entertaining so if you do not take my advice, then by all means keep going.

[Doc7]

She used me to make one of her boyfriends jealous. I suspected the same, found out his screename, added him to my buddy list and blocked him. She lasted all of three days before asking me if I had blocked him, confirming what I knew anyway.

We actually had a nice little argument approx a week after we resumed talking a couple months ago (huge falling out at the end of last semester), when she asked me if I still had him blocked when I had her name in one of my away messages when we were going somewhere. I told her that she could [censored] off if she wanted me to unblock him so that he would be pissed off that I was hanging out with her again. (He hated me last semester and referred to me as her "<college name> boyfriend". This was her only BF in the time that i've known her, the rest are random (or not so random) hookups.

She was planning on going to a party with a guy she has told me I have reason to dislike (even though I was pretty apathetic...I made some kind of comment about something he said to her on AIM, and she took the opportunity "well it's not like you two don't have reasons to not like each other, you both like me"<- probably said just to try to rile me up). That was this weekend. She pushed it back to next weekend, and now it might be pushed back even farther. So I still have 4 solid nights of being able to drink with her and make more progress before worrying about her getting krunk and doing what she does, satisfying her short-term needs for acceptance.

[benthehen]

I see, thanks for answering, but what about the first two questions?

[Doc7]

[ QUOTE ]
1) What exactly are going for? Your current interest is sex. You've already placed an emotional stock in her, professed your love for her, and spent three years of your life trying to get with her. So assuming that you ever have sex with her, it only makes sense that you'll become more emotionally involved and fall deeper in love with her. So is it just sex or a relationship?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think the correct answer at this point should be sex. And a large part (no pun intended) of me thnks that is the answer.
Besides, "relationship", as in she becomes my girlfriend, would be nothing more than we currently have. Moneywise, spending-time-together wise, etc, is all pretty much the same as a bf/gf kind of thing would be. We've been taking weekend trips with my parents (and not with them) to go skiing, drinking, buying presents for each other, etc. Therefore, the difference between "sex" and "relationship", in this case, is "sex" and "a lot of sex". I think, anyway.

[ QUOTE ]

2) Are you aware that this relationship is unhealthy?

[/ QUOTE ]
It has its moments.

[ QUOTE ]

Does her manipulating and sexual teases frustrate and hurt you (especially the other guys she is with)?

[/ QUOTE ]
duh.

[ QUOTE ]
If so then why don't you stand up for yourself?

[/ QUOTE ]
I do, on occasion. She tells me I am hurting her. I apologize.

[Anacardo]

Just, just - hold on a second, cut this [censored]. Riddle me these.

1) What are you trying to accomplish.

2) Why?

3) What's your plan?

4) What on Earth makes you think that it has a chance of being successful?

[oneeye13]

make sure you get to her while she's still in the single-digit std count