How many 5 year-olds.....

[CCass]

I am whipped!!!

I give up!

I thought I could make it without posting in this thread, but 3 months is just too long. This thread has won me over. I kept hoping it would go away, but like the sun it rises every morning without fail.

Now that I have admitted defeat, maybe I will be at peace with the 5 year olds.

[Kijin]

So... Fairly new at this thread thing, but a friend introduced me to this discussion and I had to add my two cents.
I've been training in Jujutsu (a form of martial arts centered on grappling, taking down opponents and keeping myself from being taken down, all while using the most minimal amout of personal effort possible) for about ten years now. I've trained with many people from various age groups. My dojo holds childrens classes for kids 4 and up.
If you think one day of teaching them to be organized will make a difference, you are sadly mistaken. That being said, I've worked with the kids on a fairly regular basis. We play some games with them when they're good, including 'keep the adult on the floor'. we lie on the floor on our backs, and their job is to keep us down.
Agreed, they don't get to punch, kick, scratch, etc, but neither do we. and it's no challenge getting out from under any 5 or 6 kids in my dojo.
If you gave me the ability to start standing up, and do whatever I needed to to keep these kids away, I could easily do it all day. I'm no big guy, 5' 10", about 175, but you need to realize that even with hundreds of kids, they can only come so many at a time. and when you use one to take out another two, that limits them further. kids heads are very hard. If you grab one by the ankles, he makes a very feasable blackjack. My feeling, therefor, is that an indefinite number of 5 year olds is nearly irrelevant. the breaking point would be when I got bored.

[gonores]

This thread has opened doors for me to become a freelance humor writer, made me a C-list internet celebrity, and provided me with hours of entertainment, and I still [censored][/i]ing hate this thread and everyone other than me who has posted on it since around post #250. If I ever go to a big 2+2 gathering, I will memorize the people who fit in this category of non-funny posters who feel the need to still comment on this thread, and I will see how many pasty-white, pimple-faced 18 year-olds I can take in a fight. Damn...I am so glad I am not you.

[John Ho]

When in kindergarten we had a game one day where we tried to push our chaperone (a young woman) off a platform and down the slide. I was about 5 years old. There were at least 10 of us and it took everything we had to get that skinny girl down the slide. I say with pride that I gave the shove that did her in (I was a strong kid.)

Now...considering she wasn't hitting us and was a girl I have to say that I could take on at least 60. Using proper tactics you will never face them all at once.

Use your speed. When they clump together charge at them like a knight on a horse and take out little groups of them. You should be able to knock out at least 2 each charge by knocking their heads together. Add one flying kick to the head (to maintain balance upon landing) as well as one running punch and that is at least 4 per charge. Then run away from them and charge another group.

And I don't agree that if you fall you're finished. 5 year old kids can't kick that hard. And if half are girls that is even better. I could take 60 boys if there are girls involved....a lotta sad families.

Best topic ever btw.

[delahouss]

Having been directed to the conversation, I must offer my opinion. Your strength is in your stability - if you move around too much, you are liable to trip on the children already "out." Plus, they will have the ability to gain position on you in a period of unbalance. The key is to get as close to a wall as possible and stay in a solid base. As you begin knocking them out, pile their little bodies around your legs. This will force them to either shove the bodies into you as a distraction (unlikely as they are not strong and the number of bodies should be too great)or climb the pile of bodies - leaving them even more vulnerable. You should strike with the palm of your hand, elbow, and occasionally fist. Grab the neck or collar with one hand and strike swiftly to the temple with the other. This will conserve energy. The problem will be the first 10-15 minutes. You will have to fight ferociously to position yourself near a wall and knock enough out to begin the knocked out kids buffer. Also, make sure you build the wall behind you - this will create a buffer in case you get pushed back.

[Yobz]

7 and a half.

[stunnah]

I have a 4 year old daughter. We play boxing all the time. If I really wanted to, it is REDICULOUS how easy I could take her out. I dont imagine it'll get much harder when she turns 5.

I know I could take on 100 of them without any trouble. If they were trained better than the hypothetical 1 day, MAYBE they could get lucky.

I imagine if they all just rush me and as many as possible grabs jumps on my legs and holds on, and the rest of them charge me and push me down, then they all pile up on me, maybe I would suffocate. That would be over 2 tons of 5 year olds. They would have to execute it flawlessly, and get it done before I knocked too many of them out and diminishing their numbers.

[J_V]

no brainer?

[StevenFittos]

I was a varsity wrestler in high school. Iiiiiim a good wrestler, but I once had to forfeit a match. I could beat an infinite amount of five year olds. Im not kidding. I was that good. Now Im a pro poker player. Iiiiits a good movie. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
I could beat an infinite amount of five year olds. Im not kidding.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have no idea what infinite means. I'm not kidding.

[ QUOTE ]
I was that good.

[/ QUOTE ]

sup bro?