banging chicks from myspace.com

[JP OSU]

[ QUOTE ]
this whole trainwreck thing, i mean, unless you've told them you post on OOT in 2+2, how you gonna get trainwrecked? for any of us guys to tell them or something would be uber-lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

This may be true but you have not taken into account the possibility of a lurker doing this...

[Brian]

Ok, so Danver's girl is officially history. She left me this this afternoon:

"i forgot to tell you i did have fun despite my"moment or two", give me a call or if your brave enough stop by my work tonight ."

So I texted her something like:

Me: Hey i had a great time too, well i gotta get some work done, holla
Her: Scared to come visit huh?
Me: Is that a dare?
Her: Maybe
Me: What time do you 'get off'?
Her: 9
Me: Well if you're a good girl then maybe I'll drop by
Her: What would be me being a good girl?
Me: How about you change into that green halter and loosen your belt up for me?
Her: Is that all u want from me? I was playing poker at this point and not really paying attention, I took this in a sexual context though, like "is that all you want, just a halter and loose belt? don't want a [censored]?" Turns out, it meant the (obvious?) "is all u want from me sex?"
Her: Well?
Me: That's it for now, don't get too far ahead of urself
Her: So what does that mean? R u going to answer? Is that all ur lookin for oh shi--..
Me: I'm lookin for fun thats all, arent u?
Her: What does that mean?
jesus fckin christ, what can of worms did i open here. i close down poker tables
Me: ok i'm takin a break so we can chat more. what's up with the interrogation?
Her: Forget it
Me: OMG i just closed down my tables so we could chat, now you say forget it? well neither of us are looking for anything serious so. maybe you need more time to get over your ex...
Her: Sorry we got busy i told u i dont know what i want
Me: Well I want to see you, so i'll c u at 9
Her: make it 8:30, I may get off early


So I show up at Danver's around 8:45 and go in. Some old grandma tries to take my order but I say I'm just there to see Caitlin. I see her workin in the back and she turns around and looks at me and doesn't say a word. I stare for like 5 secs, she stares back, then:

Me: aren't you gonna say hi?
Her: hi
Me: uh so you didnt get off early huh?
Her: nope

So I mosey on around to a booth and sit down and try to entertain myself. She comes over after a minute or two and says she'll be getting off soon, then goes back to work. So I tell her I'm going to wait in my car and listen to music, she said, "No, you don't have to do that..." But I'm feeling majorly uncomfortable just sitting around w/ all these grandmas and 15 year olds who work there looking at me, so I leave and wait in the car.

I send her this text in the car:

Me: hey had a bunch of grannies staring me down, better than trannies i guess
Her: lol
Me: omfg if you hurry up, maybe we can actually do something before everything closes
Her: i'm working come in i will be off in a minute
Me: as entertaining as staring at the walls sounds, i'm going to let michelle branch entertain me
Her: i can't leave until u come in
Me: wtf why?
Her: I'm off and waiting 4 u

So I go in, very freaking awkward cause shes chatting with some people. I come up from behind, we start to walk out and I ask her why I had to come in again, she points at her blonde friend behind her. "You have to meet her first." Then she walks out the door. I turn to meet the friend, say "hi" and all, and GTFO of there.

Me: so what do you wanna do? we can catch a movie prolly or get some coffee
Her: i need to be getting home
Me: wtf? i came out here and ur just gonna go home?
Her: i told you i just wanted someone to chat w/ while i was working
Me: i came all the way out here for that?
Her: fine i'll just leave *half jokingly*

She starts to walk to her car, I say, "You're gonna pull this [censored] on me already?" and walk after her a bit. She turns around as shes walking. I couldn't believe I was actually following her, I nearly turned around and went back to the car, but she stopped and I said something lame like, "Well I was just kidding, of course I'd like to chat." Wow, castrating myself already. I knew this was a mistake though and just tried to end it as fast as possible. We sat on a curb some and if it wasn't already over I knew it was over here:

Her: so what was with the green halter top message?
Me: well i've been wanting to see u in it
Her: yeah i don't usually wear stuff like that, and i dont normally do..... what we did last night. that early on.

I'm telling her not to analyze it or anything, but she keeps going on:

Her: i don't know what you're looking for.. i just dont want to give the wrong impression. i don't want to be a tease. because i decided after my last boyfriend, i was going to wait for a while

yadda yadda yadda, and at the same time all this sh!t is coming out of her mouth, shes moving closer to me, resting her elbow on my leg, etc.

I mean I could go on, but I'm just disgusting myself typing all this out. Eventually we stood up, she came in and started hugging me, and kept looking up at me like she wanted to kiss me. So I kissed her a bit, she said it was time for her to go, I walked her to the car, THE END (forever).

On to bigger and better things, well bigger for sure.




First things first, skanks from the past. This girl gave me the runaround a ton. She was the first girl I banged after splitting up with Renee. Girl who hopped on top in the front seat for anyone who has read the thread the whole way through. I totally screwed things up w/ her by beign too interested, too available, etc. after the sex. We had plans to meet up a few times but she would throw these totally bogus excuses my way, so I eventually stopped calling her but she would IM me/MySpace me every once in awhile saying that she wanted to meet up. Every time, she'd leave her number, I'd call, and either she wouldn't answer or she would answer and give me an excuse/just not call me back. I said I'd link her profile if I didn't bang her by like a month ago, well I had totally forgotten about her but got this tonight along with a friend request (I denied her last one awhile ago):

From: .:*wHiT -n- OlLiE*:.

Date: Sep 10, 2006 8:03 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]

Subject: hey

Body: i'm know i'm prolly to late but i got my [censored] straight! YAY go me! anyway life is great right now! Matt is going into the Army & i still have full custody of Olivia! I keep thinking about that night in ur car i really wish i could have had more! i'm sure ur seeing other people & that cool but i would like to be friends i have time now in my life for people other than family! i want that date & maybe 1 day i can have it ... it totally up to u if u want to talk to me just in case heres my number again xxx-xxxx ... i really do miss you

Here's her profile, have fun with her refridgerator magnets or do whatever you must (notice she's "in a relationship", yet sent me that msg):

http://www.myspace.com/whitneybailey


On a positive note, 37 y/o is really interested, so that should be a lay-up. (lord knows I need one) And the new profile seems to be working well:



(not her kid)

To: Leah

Date: Sep 9, 2006 9:10 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: princess bride

Body: yeah, well nice chattin' w ya Leah, hope you get to get into your own place this year.

I push

-Brian
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Leah
Date: Sep 9, 2006 6:18 PM


never made it to china but we got really far we did it for a couple years

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: PsychicDog
Date: Sep 8, 2006 2:37 PM


yes, that was a joke i didn't get till i was a little older. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

did you ever make it to china? my friends and i dug a solid 10 feet but gave up shortly after that.

-Brian
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Leah
Date: Sep 8, 2006 5:23 AM


i like it when vincini keeps on using the work inconceivable and indigo says "you keep on using that word; i do not think it means what u think it means"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: PsychicDog
Date: Sep 7, 2006 11:58 PM


what's your favorite quote from the movie? for me it's this simple one, but makes me laugh every time:

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?


Last message was a push on my part, here's how it played out (shes a dispatcher for a cable company btw):

From: Leah

Date: Sep 10, 2006 6:31 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: No Subject

Body: lol, that was GREAT! but ya see i work nights and weekends too and i am not my own boss plus i am puppy-sitting/house sitting for the week (which i think should automatically make me a shoe-in for the whole good girl thing). you did a very good job with your play on words; i loved it [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: PsychicDog
Date: Sep 10, 2006 6:25 PM


alright, maybe you can dispatch yourself over to my place and "fix my cable" sometime. i work at night and weekends, but because i work for myself, i can probably convince my boss to let me off the hook for a few hours. say tomorrow night?

-Brian
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Leah
Date: Sep 10, 2006 6:20 PM


lol, if im a good girl, huh. i'm about to order some pizza and i could invite you over but i've been a bad girl today so maybe some other time [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: PsychicDog
Date: Sep 10, 2006 5:37 PM


i have an interesting personality, too. if you're a good girl, maybe i'll let you experience it in person.

-Brian
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Leah
Date: Sep 10, 2006 4:53 PM


hmmmmmm u have a very interesting profile [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]


I decide to give it a few days to respond to that last message. Seemed like she was busy anyways. Then she sends me this:

From: Leah

Date: Sep 10, 2006 6:47 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]

Subject: No Subject

Body: i think yer funny and that yer dog is adorable. my number is xxx-xxxx i might not answer but if u leave a message i'll call u back.

leah


I'll be calling that number shortly. Actually, I think I'm going to call it right now since she's online. I'll edit in later.


-Brian

[EDIT]: Called, and just like she said, she didn't answer. I left a message, wow, you see, this is why I don't leave messages, prolly ruined all the fckin magic I worked so hard to build up online. I should've just done the Princess thing word for word, instead:

"hey Leah, this is that hot, sexy, intriguing guy from MySpace. anywho, i never leave messages, but since you said to leave one, here it is. just wanted to see what kind of pizza u got, you seem like a pepperoni type of girl. so call me back bye"

[EDIT #2]: Okay she called back a few mins later. We chatted for a minute, I stuttered/stumbled a whole lot, and probably came across as WAY too eager. But I managed to get a day/time, early Thursday afternoon. Probably a Starbucks or something, I said I'd call her later in the week and iron out the details.

[New001]

Just got back from number 1. She's cute and her face looks like the pictures, but she's put on a lot of weight during pregnancy. She said 50 pounds, which I guess is a ton. No vagina for me since her family was all there and we didn't really have enough privacy, but we made out for a bit, the boobies came out, and we were pretty much all over each other. Spent way too much time talking, or more accurately listening to her talk, since she was giving some weird body language. I don't really want her uncomfortable if she's open for a regular unattached sex thing.

Her family is dirt poor and the 5 or 6 of them are supported on one McDonalds salary. They apparently didn't even have paved roads where they lived until 2 years ago, and to show how trashy this part of town is, their family was even making fun of the rednecks that live out there. They don't even have a single cell phone. The deadbeat dad is off chasing tail in California or something, too.

Anyway, she wants me and has all but promised more for next time. Apparently she meets guys from Myspace all the time, or least did until she got pregnant (her second time, too. Goddamn. The first was one of those falopian tube pregnancies and she had to get surgery to get it removed. Apparently the guys that knocked her up both said they did it on purpose.) So, she's been around the block a few times at least but I don't really care. It's weird though, she showed me some art she did and it was incredible. She has some serious talent with drawing, and she seemed a lot smarter than you would think given the circumstances. Pretty sad really.

Either way, we're meeting up again sometime later this week I think. It's a long drive out there (like an hour or so, maybe a little more) and she doesn't have a car, plus I bet those [censored] roads will tear up my car if I'm not careful. Date #2 tomorrow night probably won't have any action, but the girl seems pretty open about things so I guess it's possible. #3 on Wednesday should be a lock, if I don't get vagina after that then I'm a failure.

Edit: Oh, and I tried a slightly modified Bush Doctrine as described above. Worked great.

[New001]

Oh. Remembered something crazy, I couldn't make this [censored] up if I tried. So she was telling this story where her older brother (he's 30?) took her dog and sold it to some retarded friend of his for drug money. Then, the retarded friend drops some cinder block on the dog whose leg ends up coming OFF. The retarded friend tried to duct tape it back together.

WTF.

[Brian]

New001,

I feel slightly more normal now, good to know I'm not the only one out there getting hick tail.

-Brian

[New001]

[ QUOTE ]
New001,

I feel slightly more normal now, good to know I'm not the only one out there getting hick tail.

-Brian

[/ QUOTE ]
I ventured pretty far into East Texas for this one. I think she's a keeper! She'd be pretty cool if her family wasn't trashy and she didn't sleep with everyone though. Everyone but me anyway. Oh, and if she wasn't pregnant.

[New001]

Finally a picture I guess. This girl really wants a boyfriend (probably clingy but whatever, she's hot) and hints at really liking sex on her page, but she seems hot enough to have to neg her. She mentioned liking Nickelback and hating smokers. Never tried this before, but this is what I sent:

Hey, I'm xyz. I'm not lame, I hate smoking too, and I like to make out. You seem like a cool girl and all, but Nickelback? Come on, you have to be able to find a better band than that.

Good? Bad? Indifferent? She's 18 by the way (I'm 20).

[balkii]

PLEASE CRITIQUE MY GAME IN THE FOLLOWING EXCHANGE.



nevermind, thought you'd be more creative than that. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

"What do you want to be when you Grow Up: i want to work in a Public Relations Firm. and i want to be someone who makes a difference."

I'm curious - do you want to make a difference through your work in PR? or are those two things separate? Isn't PR usually just the business of making corporations who do bad things look good? maybe i'm way off.



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: XXX
Date: Sep 11, 2006 1:04 AM


inside what??? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Dave
Date: Sep 10, 2006 9:25 PM


inside?



I was tempted to answer her query with "Wouldn't you like to know..." or something to that effect. I opted for the neg, I'm not sure which is the better choice. The quote was from a myspace survey on her page.

feedback?

[34TheTruth34]

wtf? people are still using "inside?" [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[balkii]

[ QUOTE ]
wtf? people are still using "inside?" [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

i actually looking more for someone to date rather than random hookups, so I will use something more creative/personal if the girl seems interesting/my "type." if shes good-looking but doesnt appeal to me otherwise I will fire off "inside?" or occasional one of the other standards just to see where it goes. anything more is a waste of time

"inside" has easily had the highest respond ratio.