How many 5 year-olds.....

[Drunk Bob]

All of them. Please let this thread end.

[Y2D]

well, i think I could do 25 with a success rate of 80%, but I think it may be possible for me to KO 50 of them with a success rate of maybe 20%... I'm 26, 6', 145 lbs, 5% body fat, and have done hard physical labour since I was about 13, I have a very high pain threshold (I've had 1500 lb cows step on my bare feet, and a GF who bit my hand as hard as she could trying to get me to let go of my keys.. the key ring let go before I did.. here's my strategy

i would start by moving around a lot and picking random ones, I think I could KO about 4-6 per minute (KO = finished.. don't need to come back for them), though I'd probably be dealing a hit every 3-4 seconds. I would do above routine for about 3-5 minutes (I'm a heavy smoker), at which point I'd want to regain my breath.. at this point I'd let them get closer and I would problably deal a few good slaps which will nearly remove facial skin, or I will grab for the throat which would probably not require me to lean over enough to not lose my balance easily, I have strong forearms so I think I can get a KO in about 10 seconds with a good hold. the average kid will probably wiegh about 45 lbs, not a big deal, I worked on a farm and have had to do a lot of heavy lifting on tight deadlines, so lift a few, throw onto others, maybe swing 'em around once or twice, twist a couple necks here and there, and maybe I regain breath doing this enough to actually go jogging again. I do not think anyone could keep this up for longer than about an hour if they're in supreme shape, and remember that not every hit will be fatal. remember that if you get 4 of them pulling on each side of you the net effect is nil.. they aren't goung to be able to pull your arm off, though it could be hard to shake 4 on each arm, if you keep at least one hand free, I think you'd do OK.. i'm not all that concerned with biting, you'll be able to tell when they're going in for a bite at which you grab thier throat and throw them. if you were to get a weapon, i'd choose nunchucks (spelling?) they're complicated enough that the kids would be pretty worthless with them, strong enough you can do serious damage, also, they do not require huge amounts of energy to keep swinging unlike axes etc, a baton may work too, but the kids would be able to make better use of it... second use for nunchucks? great stranglerif I were to get any sort of defense, Leather chaps or just good fingerless gloves... Oh, I think I would want earplugs...

more to come later.. need sleep, sorry about typos, this K/b really sucks

[willie]

i really like that people have signed up just to post in this thread...


this thing kicks ass and has a life of its own.

[VarlosZ]

I'm amazed at some of the low estimates for the number of children a healthy adult male could take out. Only a handful would be able to attack at once, they're too weak to rely on brute force, and too stupid to be trained to use any strategy. Based on years of wrestling and horsing around with my little brothers, I'm confident that I could go on indefinitely until one of two things happens:

1) I become severely exhausted.

2) I break my right hand (presumably against one of the little bastards' skulls).


#2 is essentially random, so I won't factor it into the equation.

What about #1? Admittedly, I'm out of shape, but I figure the adrenaline rush I get from having to fend off hordes of bloodthirsty kindergarteners (not to mention all the fun I'll be having) should let me keep going for, say, 20-30 minutes. How many kids can I kill (excuse me: "render unconscious") in half an hour? Quite a lot, I believe. It's very hard to pick a number, though, since I'm just not sure how a melee like this would work; I think I could dispatch somewhere from 4-10 kids per minute. Therefore, given the 20-30 minutes I mentioned above. . .

Low estimate: 80-120 ---- High estimate: 200-300

So, somewhere between 80 and 300 -- inexact, to say the least, but that's hardly surprising given this sort of chaos.


Those number would shrink dramatically as the kids got older. If we're talking 8-year olds, I figure 12 or fewer could take me, exhaustion or no. By the time we hit 10-year olds, 4 might do the trick.

[locomotivbreth]

OK, I was an advocate of being able to take out a huge number of these kids and I still am, but have rethought it a little bit. One of the stated rules is that you cannot touch the walls which i guess would end the contest. So let's say the walls are charged with roughly 450,000 volts of electricity and of course the kids are fearless with absolutely no regard for their own safety even in the face of seeing their five year old brethren being absolutely trashed one by one as they charge in. It is POSSIBLE that a huge wave of kids could maybe push you backwards and cause you to make contact with the aforementioned "shocker walls" (patent pending) and end the melee. I also think a good addition to this contest would be a pit of some kind in the middle of the gym with quicksand in it.

[voltron.]

This thread was amazing. But it is over. The last 100 posts have been pointless, mostly new posters say "ROFFLE thats hilarious I'll post something which has already been discussed THIS THREAD IS SO COOL". Nothing funny has been said.

[GoliathCobalt]

Having given this lots of thought. I work a job moving 40-60 lb crates all day long. Using that as a system of measurment, I'd imagine I could whoop ass on 5 year olds for about 6 hours straight before I'd need a breather. If I could knock out 1 per minute, that's 60 an hour, or 360 in my 6 hour 5-year old bashing shift. and that's a low estimate.

Sincerely,
Goliath Cobalt

[Vinster]

This actually happened to me. I taught kindergarten for two years. One day I brought in a pack of Pokemon cards and told my class "who ever was tough enough to take me could have the cards" and tucked them in my pocket. Out of a class of 24, I took 22 of those little &**&#ers until one of them was smart enough to to get a pencil from his book bag and jam it in my eye. I was only out for a second or two but they got me for my cards, my watch and my wallet. That is the last time I teach at an all girls school.

Vinster the one eyed teacher

[lucas9000]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread was amazing. But it is over. The last 100 posts have been pointless, mostly new posters say "ROFFLE thats hilarious I'll post something which has already been discussed THIS THREAD IS SO COOL". Nothing funny has been said.

[/ QUOTE ]

[csmart]

So, the demographics of them are pretty mixed, but would the Mexicans be in the first wave? Maybe the black ones would be squirmy.