How many 5 year-olds.....

[ThaSaltCracka]

you are a [censored].

[willie]

ok, screw that douchebag.

but anyway

i'm gonna go with 50.

i definitely think that the jogging around/ quick strike would be highly effective. I would need to be swarmed heavily to be brought down since these little beings are extremely weak.

As for my weapon of choice....I'm going to have to go with a crowbar of decent weight. The knuckle duster is also a good option. I would not resort to the crowbar until i felt that my jogging around and kicking method was starting to break down in effectiveness.

and this is definitely the funniest thread i've ever read in OOT.... i just picture one of us jogging around and laying full bore kicks into children.

This hypothetical situation kicks ass.

[CaSToR]

First off, even if I am unarmed I still say that I could take out a good 45+ of the little buggers before I got too tired to be able to fend them off. It is simply a matter of stamina. I have a five year old nephew that tries to flying tackle me and every time it is simply a swipe of my arm that causes him to go flying back onto the couch. He is not exactly your normal five year old kid either, more like a seven year old at age five.

Secondly, if I got my choice of weapon(s) I would either have to go with a set of escrima sticks (think 1" thick dowel rods) or a combination medium shield and a single escrima stick. One whack to the face, or pretty much anywhere on the head and they are down for the count. Not to mention shield bashing. I could clear whole swathes with that. With either one of those weapon sets I would set the numbers at somewhere around 250 with just the sticks, upwards of 400 with the shield. I mean the first 50 or so would go down in less than five minutes. With the shield I would simply have to keep the little bastards in front of me while I circle around them beating heads. I still don't see them taking me down unless I got REALLY tired.

[lopes]

alright, my uncle told me about this at Easter dinner and had me laughing my ass off. His son, my cousin, is five years old and without a doubt i think i could take on his entire kindagarden class. just ring the recess bell and let the massacre begin. a five year? seriously, they are more interested in sponge bob then learning fighting techniques.

hmm, thats a good idea. what if you dressed up as Sponge Bob and started attacking these tiny fists of fury? that would be hilarious not to mention detramental to the kids....hahaha imagine seeing sponge bob whaling on 30 five years olds hahahaha

besides...if they are all coming at you from one side of the court you could just ran through them like a big rig through a corn field.

i say my number would be atleast 30. [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]

[SimonFlagstaff]

Pose the hypothetical another way ...

Remember when you were 5? How many of you and your friends would you need to take down one of your dads? We actually discussed this when we were 5! We said that all six of us could do it.

[SimonFlagstaff]

Look at it as an energy conservation issue. Granted, you'll be able to dispatch the first few little buggers in seconds, but on the average, I reckon that you'll be able to do one every two minutes.

As an athletic event, I see this as sort of a middle distance event; 1000m swim, 10K run, or 20K bike. After which, you'll need to rest. These events take between 20 and 40 minutes.

In 20 to 40 minutes you'll dispatch between 10 and 20, at which time you'll need a rest. The moment you rest, they got you!

I'd say to all you who put higher numbers have never spent a solid five minutes on the punching bag, or 10 minutes on the rowing machine, or run a marathon, or actually been in a fire fight.

Great hypothetical. I had fun!

[xanthuos]

Well, I'm hoping there's no little girl like this one in the group I would get to muderalize.

[FrankLu99]

IINEC

[Tron]

It's spread to the Tucker Max Message Board

[gonores]

Yeah....just when I was starting to think that nothing of value could be added to this debate, Tucker & Co. get their hands on it. I haven't laughed at responses to this question since around reply 150 of this thread, but Tucker's thread has me laughing so hard I'm crying. Making it to Tucker's site like that is easily coolest part about this whole thing. I encourage everyone who still reads these replies to read Tron's link.

Oh yeah, while you're at it, Google "How many 5 year olds" and see how many replies link back to here.