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#391
04-16-2007, 07:19 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
I don't see how his position is ridiculous. OP had sex with the understanding that in the very unlikely event that she'll get pregnant, that she'll get an abortion. She has changed her mind for whatever reason. According to you, that's great, but it is not so great for the guy to change HIS mind. Why the double standard? OP has every right in the world to change his mind about loving or marrying her. The only legal obligation he has is to provide whatever financial support the courts decide for 18 years.
All of these arguments that basically say 'do not have sex until you are ready to have children' and "OP IS A COWARD OMFG!!!" are ridiculous. 
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#394
04-16-2007, 07:27 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
I don't see how his position is ridiculous. OP had sex with the understanding that in the very unlikely event that she'll get pregnant, that she'll get an abortion. She has changed her mind for whatever reason. According to you, that's great, but it is not so great for the guy to change HIS mind. Why the double standard? OP has every right in the world to change his mind about loving or marrying her. The only legal obligation he has is to provide whatever financial support the courts decide for 18 years. All of these arguments that basically say 'do not have sex until you are ready to have children' and "OP IS A COWARD OMFG!!!" are ridiculous. [/ QUOTE ] I never said the guy couldn't change his mind. I said people putting all of this on the GF because once she was actually with child she changed her mind are wrong and pretty unreasonable to expect something like actually being pregnant to not affect a 20 year old. If OP decides to leave her he is still responsible for financial support for the child. The only point at which OP becomes a bad person is if he cuts and runs without paying child support. The guy doesn't have much input into this situation and still usually ends up on the hook for it which may suck for the guy, but that's the way it is. It is something they should teach in elementary school so no one is surprised when they are held responsible for children they are the parents of.
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#396
04-16-2007, 07:36 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
That is not what the tone of your posts, or by many other posters, are implying. One person went as far as to say that the girl is being courageous for not "running away". To say that it is unreasonable to not expect the girl to change her mind, but that it is unreasonable for the guy to change his is EXACTLY what you are doing.
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#397
04-16-2007, 07:39 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
The only point at which OP becomes a bad person is if he cuts and runs without paying child support. [/ QUOTE ] There's something to be said for that view, definitely. I'd be pointing the finger first, by far, at the person who wanted a baby that her partner didn't want, yet had no intentions of supporting it herself. But there's blame enough to go around. [ QUOTE ] The guy doesn't have much input into this situation and still usually ends up on the hook for it which may suck for the guy, but that's the way it is. It is something they should teach in elementary school so no one is surprised when they are held responsible for children they are the parents of. [/ QUOTE ] Agreed. But they're terrified to even teach sex education, which is based on simple biological fact. How much less likely is it then that they'll ever teach honesty about something they don't even want to talk about at all. I guess if sex education will make everyone suddenly start to have sex, honesty will make everyone suddenly honest, with probably the resultant fall of civilization.
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#398
04-16-2007, 08:04 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
Worst. Post. Ever. I will clarify: Are you seriously comparing the act of sexual intercourse, sans condom and resulting in a child, to nothing more than a woman patronizing a sperm bank? I'm just making sure we're clear on this, as I'm pretty sure if you thought about it, even you would realize how terrible your comparison is. In the sperm bank situation there is no contact. No relationship. Nothing. A woman who is incapable of getting pregnant for whatever reason (likely her husband is sterile or she is lesbian) goes to the sperm bank for in vitro fertilization. Simple business and the man never had any thoughts otherwise. In this situation, however, you have a boy who claimed to love this woman before she got pregnant. He willingly engaged in sexual intercourse with her and has created a child. His level of responsibility in this situation was more than just a test tube of semen. It was a woman he claimed to love. To absolve OP of his responsibility is to really say "its ok for me to accept the consequences of my actions when I feel like it", and that is the sign of brutal immaturity. [/ QUOTE ] At the point that the woman a) makes a promise to get an abortion in the event of a pregnancy and b) goes back on her word, then yes, as far as i'm concerned, the man is absolved of all responsibility, regardless of the status of their relationship. The choice to have a child was no more his than the sperm donor's, and the responsibility should be the same. The relationship [censored] is entirely irrelevant compared to the massive breach of trust that the girl has inflicted upon him.
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#400
04-16-2007, 08:13 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
kerowo, If no one in this world is willing to live up to their word, then I'll be a hermit, and a content one at that. [/ QUOTE ] Especially when you give forgetting to pick up some milk on the way home the same weight as a promise to have and to hold.
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