12 year old Daughter witn emotional issues

[jdaddy]

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I know nothing about 12 year-old girls, or psychology, but I do know something about the internet.

I'd yank her connection, if I were you.

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Agreed, with a question. Who is she chatting with if no one likes her?

[SA125]

I'm just another parent who has raised a boy and a girl, 23 and 19, and I can relate to the pain you can go through raising them. My daughter has a chronic illness that, thank God, isn't terminal.

One thing I noticed in your post is that you keep referring to your daughter as intelligent and yet she doesn't do well in school. I had that problem with my son. He scored over 1100 on his SAT's without even studying and yet barely passed through HS. But socially he never had any problems. My daughter was the opposite. She excelled in school yet sometimes struggled socially during adolescence. Partly because of her illness but, and she'd admit it now, mostly because of immaturity.

When your child is having trouble in many areas the problem is probably deeper than a parent would care to admit. Considering she's reaching adolescence and now immersed in the online chat world, I wouldn't waste another day. She needs help.

You'd hate yourself if you didn't take serious measures and she ran off and wound up in a situation that would scar all of you for life. It's in the papers all the time and there's probably many more that we don't hear about. That may sound harsh or drastic and you figure that could never happen, but to many parents it became a reality. Do something now. Good luck.

[LinusKS]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know nothing about 12 year-old girls, or psychology, but I do know something about the internet.

I'd yank her connection, if I were you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed, with a question. Who is she chatting with if no one likes her?

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I can't imagine a chatroom that's appropriate for a 12 yo girl. Maybe they're out there - but I've never seen one.

Edit: And MySpace..? You know who posts in MySpace? OOTers. Seriously, I wouldn't want a 12 yo on the same planet as those people.

[Peter666]

Maybe she is just bad.

[PoorLittlePincus]

sounds like this could lead to bi-polar when she gets in her teens. I'm not an expert but something to consider

[NapoleonDolemite]

I'm not qualified to give advice (not a shrink) but here goes:

Become your daughter's friend. Take her side. Explain to her that she is special and that she can do whatever she wants in life. Also explain that you understand why she is failing in school. Tell her about Einstein getting F's in school. All of this stuff reinforces self-confidence.

In all truth it is easy for a creative, intelligent person to fail in school. The school system is set up to create drones, not free-thinking/creative individuals. I hated shcool when I was a kid. I once skipped for two weeks straight. I didn't have issues where I wanted to off myself or anything, but I was definitely anti-establishment. It sounds like your daughter is too, with a little depression mixed in. For this, you should find her someone to talk to.

You should encourage her rebellion from the world (if that's what she wants) but not from you or her mother- talk to her about rebelling in a way that improves her, poetry is good- just try to find her some paper.

You want her to feel she can trust you and that you have her back. Let her know that you value her above what others think about her or you as a parent.

I have a daughter too but she is still little so I haven't reached the tough stage yet. Again, my advice could be terrible, but when I was a kid I was a big screw-up but my father was one of my best friends and always had faith in me. I straightened out and became an excellent student at the end of high school.

Start spending some time with your daughter, maybe just the two of you. Take her to a movie and some dinner. Talk to her about important things that are going on in the world, not just in her life. Make her feel included.

Maybe you already do all of these things, again, I'm just trying to offer a point of view and it could be totally wrong and ludicrous.

Good Luck

[bdsports411]

Sounds like she may have bad depression due to a chemical inbalance. One of my relatives suffered from this and after medication was Ok. Have her tested for this, and good luck.