My son wants to get laid - Page 4

pfapfap · #31 11-16-2006, 02:01 AM

Despite what our "leaders" want us to think, the world isn't made up of polarized situations. It's not a choice between "no way no how don't even talk about it" to "here's some lube and amyl nitrate, go at it!" The kid's gonna find a way to get laid if he wants to, so it's up to you to explain to him not only how to protect himself, but how to respect women (and himself, and humanity in general) so that he doesn't grow up to be a jerk. If you're frank with him, he'll be more likely to respect your boundaries. Explain to him where you're coming from. Tell him it would just make you feel weird for him to be going through such an important rite of passage with you in the next room. Heck, try to instill in him the sense that it's a big deal and it should be special. Make condoms available to him. And then let them close the friggin' door so they can smooch and feel each other up, for cryin' out loud. He's sixteen. World War II was fought by sixteen year olds. The leap between twelve and sixteen is huge. Let him grow up. Yeah, sixteen year olds are idiots, so help him be smarter.

And to the guy not gettin' it from him live-in girlfriend: (a) move out of your parents' house, and (b) dump the girl. Not having sex at your age is a symptom of something greater. I don't care how "in love" you are, obviously there are communications problems and your needs aren't getting met. Don't tie yourself down to something that will never improve and only breed resentment.

Lighthouse00 · #32 11-16-2006, 03:31 AM

You have awful parenting techniques. Just let him learn to bang this girl so that when he gets to college and he bangs his first girl, she tells all of her friends that he is great in the sack. Then by the time he graduates he will have banged at least 50 girls, and probably have gotten a few threesomes out of it as well.

Dan BRIGHT · #33 11-16-2006, 06:23 AM

You think preventing your kids from having sex in your house will stop them from having sex? LOL brilliant move

Dementia · #34 11-16-2006, 02:11 PM

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Also while I'm certainly in favor of pre-maritial sex, I'm still not comfortable with saying to the 16 year olds "sure kids, close the doors, have some condoms, knock yourselves out".

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You dont need to say any of that, just give your son some privacy, don't be so anal about this 'open door' business, because it's pretty much indicative of wanting to 'check up on him'. Maybe to bring some milk & cookies? If you feel so anxious about 'allowing' him to be a man, then don't even be considerate and make sure he has some rubbers, let him knock her up and you can feign ignorance.

pfapfap · #35 11-16-2006, 02:32 PM

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Maybe to bring some milk & cookies?

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That reminds me, when I was in high school (age 18), I was at a friend's with both of our girlfriends, in his room with a closed door, doing what you'd expect, and his mom brought us refreshments during down times. Okay, yeah, maybe this is a bad thing to mention in this thread, but we were all amused by it.

GoblinMason (Craig) · #36 11-16-2006, 02:56 PM

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You think preventing your kids from having sex in your house will stop them from having sex? LOL brilliant move

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OP, this is what it boils down to. If they want to, they will, no doubt.

If you think he shouldn't, tell him why, but also let him know if he does, how he should go about it.

Also, I like the "in love" in quotes, you can be 16 and in love, it's just probably not going to work out.

-Craig

canada_dry · #37 11-16-2006, 03:49 PM

Have a man to man with your son.

Make sure he knows to use a rubber.

Let him have some clean safe fun.

Don't you remember being 16??

Chill daddy...

bkholdem · #38 11-16-2006, 06:32 PM

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My oldest son is 16, and is "in love" for the first time with a serious girlfriend. She's also 16, this is her first boyfriend. They are good kids, get good grades, I couldn't be prouder. But several times when she has come over to visit we've said "keep the doors open" only to find them closed at some point. Her parents have the same rule when he goes to visit at her house. Neither one has a drivers license yet (tho my son will be getting his in a few months).

My wife and I are pretty liberal, and fully expect/hope he'll make good decisions and be responsible when the time comes for him to "grow up" so to speak.. but obviously he is wanting more from this relationship now, and is feeling very "controlled" and frustrated. I told him look, when the girl's parents say its OK then we'll talk, in the mean time quit trying to make out in our house.

Any suggestions/advice on how to proceed much appreciated.

thx.. BB

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'inadvertantly' let it be known (as in discussing with your wife when he is in earshot) times you will be out of the house for a few hours. this way he can 'sneak' some nookie and you can pretend you are not aware of what is going on. that way everyone (exept the chicks parents lol) can be happy.

GoblinMason (Craig) · #39 11-16-2006, 08:05 PM

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My oldest son is 16, and is "in love" for the first time with a serious girlfriend. She's also 16, this is her first boyfriend. They are good kids, get good grades, I couldn't be prouder. But several times when she has come over to visit we've said "keep the doors open" only to find them closed at some point. Her parents have the same rule when he goes to visit at her house. Neither one has a drivers license yet (tho my son will be getting his in a few months).

My wife and I are pretty liberal, and fully expect/hope he'll make good decisions and be responsible when the time comes for him to "grow up" so to speak.. but obviously he is wanting more from this relationship now, and is feeling very "controlled" and frustrated. I told him look, when the girl's parents say its OK then we'll talk, in the mean time quit trying to make out in our house.

Any suggestions/advice on how to proceed much appreciated.

thx.. BB

[/ QUOTE ]

'inadvertantly' let it be known (as in discussing with your wife when he is in earshot) times you will be out of the house for a few hours. this way he can 'sneak' some nookie and you can pretend you are not aware of what is going on. that way everyone (exept the chicks parents lol) can be happy.

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Lol, this is what I assumed my parents were doing...until the one time they walked in... [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

BJK · #40 11-16-2006, 09:00 PM

[ QUOTE ]
My oldest son is 16, and is "in love" for the first time with a serious girlfriend. She's also 16, this is her first boyfriend. They are good kids, get good grades, I couldn't be prouder. But several times when she has come over to visit we've said "keep the doors open" only to find them closed at some point. Her parents have the same rule when he goes to visit at her house. Neither one has a drivers license yet (tho my son will be getting his in a few months).

My wife and I are pretty liberal, and fully expect/hope he'll make good decisions and be responsible when the time comes for him to "grow up" so to speak.. but obviously he is wanting more from this relationship now, and is feeling very "controlled" and frustrated. I told him look, when the girl's parents say its OK then we'll talk, in the mean time quit trying to make out in our house.

Any suggestions/advice on how to proceed much appreciated.

thx.. BB

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There are some very bad responses in this thread. I'll try to be the voice of reason here.

Let's just say that it is in everyone's best interest, especially your son's, to not let your son have sex until he is 18. However, this is a decision you cannot make for him. It is up to you, though, to make sure that he has the tools and the knowledge that will help him to make a choice that won't seriously hinder his future goals.

You want your son to act like a man, you've got to treat him like a man. He'll respect more if you're honest and open.

I agree that you should buy some condoms for him, and when you give them to him, you need to have your talk. This isn't a talk about the birds and the bees. This is a talk about what it means to be an adult. It's a talk about responsibilities. Make sure that he knows that giving him condoms isn't a green light to go ahead and have sex. It's merely a measure to protect against the disasterous should he make a bad choice.

Also, the "open door" rule needs to be changed. Let him close his door for privacy, but make sure he understands the rules.