Significant Other Gains A Large Amount Of Fat

[Jacques]

50 pounds is totally out of hand and you need to act early in order to avoid such an extreme case.

My recommendation is that if your SO gains 2-3 pounds or whatever you can notice, you need to exercise more and do some weights in order to improve your own appearance. In my experience it is a great way to lead by example and it works. Do not wait, a woman can dress in a way to hide weight gain for a while but waiting before addressing the situation sends the wrong message.

A tricky case is a woman who lost a lot of weight before meeting you and is just gaining it back. I didn't have to face that but it can be more challenging.

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
I've always thought gentle nudging together would do the trick. "Hey, baby-sugarcakes-pie, let's go to the gym together. When do you think we should go?"

Do whatever cardio she wants. You won't fool her, but gently giving her the message is part of the point.
-Sam

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for the "together" thing, try actvities liike hiking, or even a walk in the park if you or she is really out of shape. maybe even suggest (or book it as a surprise) a vacation to a warm (swimsuit) place.

the thing is to give her the incentive to work out/get in shape on her own. when she realizes that she can't make it around the park without losing her breath, r when she goes bikini shopping in the tent department, she'll be motivated, most likely. once she gets in the habit, she's more likely to stick to it.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
what are all you guys going to do when you get to 50 or 60 and your wife sags & wrinkles in places you never imagined could sag or wrinkle? Is that when you trade them in?

Listening to a bunch of 22yr olds talk about "if that bitch puts on 20lbs she gets kicked to the curb!" is laughable. You have NO idea what real life does to your time and your body. No idea. Just do society a favor and don't get married any time soon.

~FishNChips

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Disease and injury can take their toll, but a lot of it is choice, too. My dad was playing tennis into his 70's, and beating kids when he was still in his 60's. My mom gets a lot of exercise and eats moderately, and isn't fat even though she's in her 60's. Neither of them really made any point of exercise in their lives, or of going on strange or harsh diets. They just do things in moderation and keep active.

It really works.

[Blarg]

There's something to this, as to the post above which talks about leading by example.

If you don't want your wife to get fat and lazy, don't get fat and lazy yourself.

[ImsaKidd]

[ QUOTE ]
I am very lucky.

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember your "Playboy Mansion" thread. From what I remember, you go far and beyond "lucky".

[Tennenbaum]

[ QUOTE ]
Just be honest with her. If she loves you she will want to make you happy. Be very supportive. Not rocket science imo.

[/ QUOTE ]

Correction: If she loves you, and you dont say it like an [censored], she will accept your honesty and lose the weight to MAKE HERSELF HAPPY. Cause she should never lose it just to make you happy. She should do it for reasons of health, and her own self image.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Cause she should never lose it just to make you happy.


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"Just"? Two people who want to be together should hold each other's happiness in pretty high regard.

[cognito20]

My wife is 5 foot 5, 310 pounds, and I honestly could not care less. I love her regardless of how much or how little she weighs. As far as sexual attractiveness, it's not a problem for me since I've never found large women unattractive....it's the skinny Kate Moss-types that I've always thought were disgusting. I'd rather bang a pillow than a twig any day.

I would like her to lose weight for one reason only...that it may cause serious health problems somewhere down the line that would take her away from me sooner than she should go. If you think that sounds sappy or that I'm whipped, oh well. You're entitled to your opinion. Outside of my immediate family, she's the only person I've ever met in my life who I know has my best interests at heart, and who loves me for myself. I dated normal-sized, maybe even a few "classically beautiful" women for years before I met Becky, and I noticed 2 things that gradually removed any "anti-fat" bias I might have once had:

1.) In retrospect, the sex wasn't noticeably better, and was in many ways worse because a lot of the "attractive" women tend to lay there like an log on quaaludes, and,
2.) No matter how good the sex is, you have to also spend the -other- 23 and a half hours of the day with them.

My point? There are a hell of a lot of things more important to me in choosing a partner than the size of their waistline. I'll love her if she gains 200 pounds, and I'll love her if she loses 200. I'm extremely happy with the woman I ended up with, and the reasons why have nothing to do with size.

--Scott

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
My wife is 5 foot 5, 310 pounds, and I honestly could not care less.


[/ QUOTE ]

Can this be taken more than one way?

[Klompy]

This is different then someone who's gf starts out at a certain weight when they get together, and then lets themself go after they've been together for a while.