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#364
04-16-2007, 04:13 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Folks saying the GF lied about or went back on her word about abortion and then using that to justify the OP abandoning her and his child are idiots. Like any life changing event, talking about what you are going to do in that situation without actually being in that situation isn't worth much. You just don't know how you are going to react until in the moment. So the GF didn't think she wanted a child and actively tried to avoid having one. Now she is pregnant and it turns out she wants it, totally standard. If she was luring OP into marriage or something by saying no kids while secretly not taking the pill or whatever that would change things, but changing her mind doesn't. [/ QUOTE ] Bull-[censored]. Your word is your bond in this world. She has the ability to keep her word to a person she supposedly loves and respects, and yet she is making a conscious decision not to. She has no right to expect any kind of support from a person she has wronged so badly. [/ QUOTE ] Dude, 20 Somethings talking about abortion while not pregnant is the same as people talking about if they could kill someone. Especially if they live in the burbs and all the crime they've seen is on CSI. [/ QUOTE ] Wow. Seriously, just wow. Comparing abortion to CSI. Well, i guess it had to be done. Abortion is not a crime. It's not murder. It is the removal of unwanted cells from your body. [ QUOTE ] The biggest sign of adulthood is the ability to accept the consequences of your actions even when they are bad. People who can't do this are idiots and deserve nothing but scorn. [/ QUOTE ] I agree. The gf in this situation should be prepared to accept the consequences of her actions - those being breaking her word to her significant other. The consequences of that are the end of the relationship and acceptance of sole responsibility for the upbringing of the child. [ QUOTE ] Short version: If you aren't ready to be a daddy don't have sex. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah, again, [censored]. The modern world has given us condoms, the pill, plan b, and abortions. Those four things mean that sex no longer has to mean procreation, and that the decision to have a child is completely the woman's decision. Other people cannot and should not be held responsible for the ramifcations of that decision. 
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#365
04-16-2007, 04:19 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
Wow. Seriously, just wow. Comparing abortion to CSI. Well, i guess it had to be done. Abortion is not a crime. It's not murder. It is the removal of unwanted cells from your body. [/ QUOTE ] Seriously? That's all you have? Idiot. [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] The biggest sign of adulthood is the ability to accept the consequences of your actions even when they are bad. People who can't do this are idiots and deserve nothing but scorn. [/ QUOTE ] I agree. The gf in this situation should be prepared to accept the consequences of her actions - those being breaking her word to her significant other. The consequences of that are the end of the relationship and acceptance of sole responsibility for the upbringing of the child. [ QUOTE ] Short version: If you aren't ready to be a daddy don't have sex. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah, again, [censored]. The modern world has given us condoms, the pill, plan b, and abortions. Those four things mean that sex no longer has to mean procreation, and that the decision to have a child is completely the woman's decision. Other people cannot and should not be held responsible for the ramifcations of that decision. [/ QUOTE ] So the guy wasn't even there? That's what your saying? He has no responsibility at all. If the pill fails, the condom fails, the spermacidal jelly fails, then he just says "bummer, have fun with the brat" and gets to skip out on it? Idiot.
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#366
04-16-2007, 04:21 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
How far do we take this? I've had conversations with friends about what we'd do if we won the lottery. One of my friends has said he'd buy me a sweet car. Has he wronged me somehow if after winning the lottery he doesn't buy me a car? I think I'd be a fool to assume that what we talked about constituted some sort of binding agreement, because there was little at stake during those conversations. [/ QUOTE ] BC, This is honestly a pretty ridiculous comparison. Joking with your friends about winning the lottery is much different than soberly making it clear to your partner that you will get an abortion if you become pregnant. And in fact, if a friend told me, quite seriously, that he would buy me a car if he won the lottery, and then refused to pay up if he in fact did win the lottery, then yeah, I'd consider that breaking his word, and cut off the friendship.
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#367
04-16-2007, 04:23 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
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Your prior posts make the assumption that they do and should think accordingly. [/ QUOTE ] I have no idea what you're talking about anymore. Yes, I am making an argument from my perspective. No, I do not assume that everyone shares my argument or I wouldn't bother making it.
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#368
04-16-2007, 04:26 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
kerowo,
Holla for calling me an idiot. When you can't respond to reasonable points, ad hominem is generally the best way to go. [ QUOTE ] So the guy wasn't even there? That's what your saying? He has no responsibility at all. [/ QUOTE ] The guy has as much responsibility as a sperm donor does to a woman who patronizes a sperm bank and has "his" child. Which is to say, yeah, none. I would change my mind if, say, there were specific health issues with the woman getting an abortion, such that she had no choice but to have the child. But she does have a choice. And with choice comes responsibility. edit: minor typo
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#369
04-16-2007, 04:28 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] How far do we take this? I've had conversations with friends about what we'd do if we won the lottery. One of my friends has said he'd buy me a sweet car. Has he wronged me somehow if after winning the lottery he doesn't buy me a car? I think I'd be a fool to assume that what we talked about constituted some sort of binding agreement, because there was little at stake during those conversations. [/ QUOTE ] BC, This is honestly a pretty ridiculous comparison. Joking with your friends about winning the lottery is much different than soberly making it clear to your partner that you will get an abortion if you become pregnant. And in fact, if a friend told me, quite seriously, that he would buy me a car if he won the lottery, and then refused to pay up if he in fact did win the lottery, then yeah, I'd consider that breaking his word, and cut off the friendship. [/ QUOTE ] The analogy isn't perfect, I admit, but it was meant to demonstrate that what was discussed before a life-changing event may not hold afterwards. I never said the friend was joking, either. But I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't buy me a car. I find it sad that you would break a friendship over not getting a car for free.
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#370
04-16-2007, 04:30 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
kerowo, Holla for calling me an idiot. When you can't respond to reasonable points, ad hominem is generally the best way to go. [ QUOTE ] So the guy wasn't even there? That's what your saying? He has no responsibility at all. [/ QUOTE ] The guy has as much responsibility as a sperm donor does to a woman who patronizes a sperm bank and has "his" child. Which is to say, yeah, none. I would change my mind if, say, there were specific health issues with the woman getting an abortion, such that she had no choice but to have the child. But she does have a choice. And with choice comes with responsibility. [/ QUOTE ] Good post.
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