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#311
08-09-2007, 07:00 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
I've only read about half the thread and skimmed the bitchy hiss fight between Dids and Cardo. Getting back to PUA...
I think the most valuable thing that PUA tries to teach men is that the majority of guys are completely, 100% wrong about the correct way to attract women. (To get laid, to get a GF, wife, or just be liked by women, whatever it is.) Most guys arrive at adulthood with a ton of completely busted ideas about how to interact with women and as a result, they fail miserably. Then, stung by their failures, they give up and quit trying. Some of the incorrect assumptions are that you should just "be yourself," that the right relationship will "just happen," etc. I am pretty sure that Hollywood is responsible for these persistent lies. One of the other incorrect assumptions is that a guy should not "clean up his act," i.e, sanitize his speech and behavior when he meets a girl. He does not admire her body, make innuendos, or do anything else to indicate he is sexually attracted to the woman, for fear she will be offended and reject him. Instead he makes innocent small talk and then tries to work up the courage to nervously ask for her phone number. Then he doesn't understand when she doesn't return his phone calls. But these assumptions are all exactly wrong. The PUA knows that he MUST present himself as a sexual person who is sexually attracted to the woman. He knows that she likes sex as much as he does, but she wants to have sex with someone she is very attracted to, not just any schlub. He knows to make it clear that he is interested in her but not particularly concerned as to whether she is interested or not. He openly flirts, makes innuendos, checks her out, talks about sex and sexual things and is not worried if she will be offended. He gives her the chance to spend more time with him, but not an open-ended invitation, etc. He is not a lapdog begging for a table scrap, but someone who likes her and will give her a chance to like him back. Another benefit of the PUA info is to stress the importance of practice, i.e., approaching a lot of different women. Instead of locking in on one woman and building her up to be the goddess/muse/soulmate/meaning of life, he approaches the women he finds attractive and tries to be attractive to them. He knows he will be rejected most of the time, but that he will improve with practice and not fail all of the time, etc. Finally, the PUA stuff teaches you that a woman will try to control/dominate the man, but does not actually want to succeed, for the most part. She is trying to find the most attractive man, i.e., one that is confident enough not to simply do whatever she wants, but to do what HE wants (as LFS' great post says). Once he establishes that he is not necessarily just going to bend to her will, she knows he is a confident man, the kind she would like to be with. All of this information was very helpful to me. 
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#312
08-09-2007, 07:00 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
Tuq,
Consult: "Theoretical OOT babysitters" - this sprang from a from-nowhere #sstakes rant about brazilio > anacardo since he has a job with kids (God save us) and I couldn't get work as a tutor. "I'm gonna post this!" "MySpace Fox Pass" - I am of course the theoretical subject. Everybody had to ask what a 'Fox Pass' was, I was really disappointed. "self sorrows" - an anagram of my name. Eurotrash and GoT discovered this in the midst of one of their famous anagramming sessions. That's in the last month. I swear there's another but I can't remember what it is. Can we please please please talk about PUA now.
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#313
08-09-2007, 07:02 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
[ QUOTE ]
"MySpace Fox Pass" - I am of course the theoretical subject. Everybody had to ask what a 'Fox Pass' was, I was really disappointed. [/ QUOTE ] lol - I read that thread (I also knew he meant "faux pas"). That was about you? IIRC, sounds like you were practicing your "neg hits" or something - thought you were anti-PUA [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] -Al
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#314
08-09-2007, 07:04 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] anything by Tony Robbins anything by Wayne Dyer [/ QUOTE ] First book by Robbins is great and very re-readable. Second one was awful and VERY cheesy. The Dwyer stuff often seems cheesy and no better than something anyone could come across just by chatting with friends. [/ QUOTE ] I threw Your Erroneous Zones in the trash after the introduction where Dyer talks about how we could all trick ourselves into thinking a dentist's drill was a really pleasurable experience if we really wanted to.
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#316
08-09-2007, 07:08 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
Cardo,
Think you're getting too caught up in worrying about Dibs. Skimming these threads. OOT babysitter - don't see how this is about you at all, seems a simple variant of countless other "who do you like on 2+2" threads. Fox Pass - About you, but wow, that sure sounds like a super-bitch move worthy of a post! Would love to hear your explanation. Self Sorrows - OK, I take it back. I can't imagine why on earth Dibs would post that as a thread. That is creepy and weird as hell.
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#317
08-09-2007, 07:11 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
[ QUOTE ]
Some of the incorrect assumptions are that you should just "be yourself," that the right relationship will "just happen," etc. I am pretty sure that Hollywood is responsible for these persistent lies. [/ QUOTE ] I agree with all of this, except to me "being yourself" is okay, and applies to checking the girl out, making sexual jokes, etc., rather than being a pussy and trying to do what you think the girl wants. IMO PUA is a lot about becoming who you want to be, which doesn't have to be fake. As much as you claim otherwise OP, it sounds like you're not who you want to be.
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#318
08-09-2007, 07:37 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Some of the incorrect assumptions are that you should just "be yourself," that the right relationship will "just happen," etc. I am pretty sure that Hollywood is responsible for these persistent lies. [/ QUOTE ] I agree with all of this, except to me "being yourself" is okay, and applies to checking the girl out, making sexual jokes, etc., rather than being a pussy and trying to do what you think the girl wants. IMO PUA is a lot about becoming who you want to be, which doesn't have to be fake. As much as you claim otherwise OP, it sounds like you're not who you want to be. [/ QUOTE ] Being yourself sucks, if you suck. The focus on becoming who you want to be sounds healthier. All of us could use a little work. Probably more than a little. Humility rears its ugly head again. I think of it in terms of fairness. Is it fair for me to want women to find me attractive if I'm fat and/or have poor hygiene and/or slouch around? Nah. What's fair is to not expect reality to warp in my favor. It's fair to say you really do "owe" people some measure of effort and of insight into yourself.
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#320
08-09-2007, 07:54 PM
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Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)
Cardo,
OOT Babysiter had nothing to do with you and your job in the least. Self Sorrow was hilarious to me and others at the time. I can understand why others would find it creepy.
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