Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[thirddan]

i haven't read the pua stuff, but i have read some old carnegie stuff, which is mostly about developing solid relationships in business and in general...

seems like this stuff is very opposed to that stuff, which basically says treat others very well, don't criticize other etc...comments?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
"I find interest in other people - girls, dudes, kids, milkmen, old fogies at the park, whatever - to be very difficult to consciously manufacture. For me it's like a light switch. I have to notice something to set me off - some detail that seems interesting, something I can comment on or point out or give me a fresh angle to approach them from. With that in hand I usually just start talking and everything works out fine. Without it I have nothing to say at all. It's a completely binary, on-off thing. It's like people are invisible to me unless I already know something specific about them."

And you think this has nothing to do with any of the points Chuddo made about narcissism whatsoever?

[/ QUOTE ]

It sounds more like disassociation, which doesn't rule out narcisissm. But it seems to describe what he's talking about better.

[El Diablo]

Blarg,

Interesting

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
anything by Tony Robbins
anything by Wayne Dyer


[/ QUOTE ]

First book by Robbins is great and very re-readable. Second one was awful and VERY cheesy.

The Dwyer stuff often seems cheesy and no better than something anyone could come across just by chatting with friends.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]

"You, on the other hand, and maybe this is just how you rock the interweb, seem, as I may have mentioned before, pretty arrogant."

It's ironic that I bet if you were to survey people who hang out with each of us, I bet the concensus would be that I have more humility than you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Competitive humbleness rocks, I LOL'd.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Blarg,

Interesting

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, that describes split personalities. Definitely not what I was going for. I've seen the word used differently before, as I recall. Maybe I can find what I was going for somewhere online. I was thinking of a disassociation from the world, but I can't remember the terminology quite right. I probably need to find another site than that one, as I looked up a term or two and it didn't bring them up.

[Alamo]

[ QUOTE ]
i haven't read the pua stuff, but i have read some old carnegie stuff, which is mostly about developing solid relationships in business and in general...

seems like this stuff is very opposed to that stuff, which basically says treat others very well, don't criticize other etc...comments?

[/ QUOTE ]

See, this is the basic misconception I keep reading here about what being an alpha man and PUA is all about.

Not bashing you, at all, but I keep seeing people having opinions on stuff they evidently do not know much about.

I am european, know next to nothing about baseball, how would it look if I were to post in the sports forum about why team A is better than team B? I think that it would be so obvious so fast that I had no clue what I would be talking about, that I would be the laughing stock of that day.

Poor example maybe, but damn, the amount of crock I read here about what being a PUA is all about is so off.

For me, The way of the Superior Man of David Deida is what being an alpha-man is all about. Pick it up from the library, read it, then tell me about the questionable morality of striving to be the man Deida writes about.

[El Diablo]

Blarg,

Countless resources on the net at various levels of academic/science-speak, but this looks like a pretty good relatively layman's term overview of all sorts of psychiatric disorders: http://www.merck.com/mmpe/sec15.html

From Personality Disorders section:

"Narcissistic personality involves grandiosity. Affected people have an exaggerated sense of superiority and expect to be treated with deference. Their relationships are characterized by a need to be admired, and they are extremely sensitive to criticism, failure, or defeat. When confronted with a failure to fulfill their high opinion of themselves, they can become enraged or seriously depressed and suicidal. They often believe others envy them. They may exploit others because they think their superiority justifies it."

[highhustla]

god damnit, I wish you nerds would actually think about things from the girls' perspectives.

Until I was about 18, I'd say I was an idealistic emo nerd w/ probably a lot of the same feelings you are trying to describe. I didn't have any traumatic experiences or anything that triggered my "conversion"--I just figured out I wasn't getting what I wanted (hot chicks on my dick ldo). Sidenote: figuring out what you actually want is kinda important.

The irony is, once I started doing whatever the [censored] I wanted, and REALLY being MYSELF, I finally got the girls.
This is a win/win because 1) you're doing what you want regardless, 2) girls respect and are attracted to this.

THIS is what PUA is about (I am not PUA FWIW, but I guess you could call me an "apologist"). It actually IS about being yourself, not the opposite.

Also, even if what you're looking for IS an LTR, not a one-night stand, there is still a LOT to be learned from the PUA's. You can [censored] a girl and turn it into a relationship, but not the other way around.

But seriously, think about it from the girls' perspective: who do you think she'd rather [censored]? The tough alpha-male or the sensitive pussy?

Also [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] how OP keeps repeating this is not about him, but can't STFU relating everything back to how awesome he is. Obviously not. Grow a pair and stop whining.

[thirddan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i haven't read the pua stuff, but i have read some old carnegie stuff, which is mostly about developing solid relationships in business and in general...

seems like this stuff is very opposed to that stuff, which basically says treat others very well, don't criticize other etc...comments?

[/ QUOTE ]

See, this is the basic misconception I keep reading here about what being an alpha man and PUA is all about.

Not bashing you, at all, but I keep seeing people having opinions on stuff they evidently do not know much about.

I am european, know next to nothing about baseball, how would it look if I were to post in the sports forum about why team A is better than team B? I think that it would be so obvious so fast that I had no clue what I would be talking about, that I would be the laughing stock of that day.

Poor example maybe, but damn, the amount of crock I read here about what being a PUA is all about is so off.

For me, The way of the Superior Man of David Deida is what being an alpha-man is all about. Pick it up from the library, read it, then tell me about the questionable morality of striving to be the man Deida writes about.

[/ QUOTE ]

will check out those books...guess my question was worded poorly...was wondering more about whether they are similar or different, rather than making a statement, since i have only read the carnegie stuff...