Bizarre injuries you've suffered

[bigshowmack]

I tripped on a curb and fell on my face on my birthday while drunk and broke my jaw in 3 places. I woke up in the hospital hooked up to an IV as the doctors were trying to sober me up for surgery and I don't remember anything. I rule.

[Jack Bando]

If I yawn too hard/long it hurts my jaw. It feels as if my muscles under my tounge are going on top of each other, which they aren't supposed to do.

[Kimbell175113]

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If I yawn too hard/long it hurts my jaw. It feels as if my muscles under my tounge are going on top of each other, which they aren't supposed to do.

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Whaaat this happens to me, too, but I always just think I am going crazy. Perfect description, going on top of each other, and honestly it's kinda scary each time, but then it goes away and I forget about it until the next one.

[KDawg]

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A few nights ago I woke up screaming in pain and started punching my wall. I had a charlie horse in my calf and it was easily the most painful one I've ever experienced. 2 Days later I'm still struggling to walk comfortably.

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I've definitely had this one, minus the punching the wall part. Not fun.

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I've had my calf lock up on my when I've slept several times in my life. It really sucks. I've actually found that if it happens, start massaging the calf and slowly point your toes down. you still may be limping for the rest of the day, but it won't be really bad

[dlk9s]

When I was pitching in 7th or 8th grade, I strained a tendon in my shoulder (so said the doctor). This somehow affected my ulnar nerve, making it feel like I hit my funny bone every time I threw the ball. Somehow, I made it through the inning. Freak thing, never happened again once it healed, which did not take long. I was back on the mound within a couple weeks.

[KlumsySmurf]

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A few nights ago I woke up screaming in pain and started punching my wall. I had a charlie horse in my calf and it was easily the most painful one I've ever experienced. 2 Days later I'm still struggling to walk comfortably.

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I've definitely had this one, minus the punching the wall part. Not fun.

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I've had my calf lock up on my when I've slept several times in my life. It really sucks. I've actually found that if it happens, start massaging the calf and slowly point your toes down. you still may be limping for the rest of the day, but it won't be really bad

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I was on dialysis for a year and when they'd take too much fluid off (usually shot for 2-3kg depending on my weight change over 2-3 days) I would get the worst calf cramps of my life that would last for up to 30 minutes. The pain was unbearable and I almost broke down in tears several times. There was a hot young (25, I was 22 at the time)dialysis technician that would come by and massage my legs when this happened so it wasn't all bad.

When I was 6 or so I was lifting large rocks above my head while pretending that I was superman. I lifted one that was a bit too heavy and dropped it straight on my big toe. It bled like crazy and the entire nail came off.

My first year of junior high (7th grade) I was playing a game we called powerdodge. Basically we took the motors out of old powerwheels we had, tied them up to a bike and towed someone down a big hill near my house as fast as possible while throwing objects in front of them to dodge. I was on the powerwheels and failed to dodge a shopping cart thrown in front of me, instead flipping over and skidding on my right knee for several feet. There wasn't any blood just a soft pure white jellowy tissue substance that was exposed. It didn't hurt either until that night when my mom had to remove all the debris from it and sterilize it. For 2 weeks after everytime I bumped my knee the scab would fall off and it would start bleeding. I remember my first Jr High dance I was rockin to Cypress Hill's Insane in the Membrane and the scab fell off from rubbing against my pants leg. By the time I noticed it my lower pants leg was soaked in blood and it was dripping on the floor. I still have an awesome scar on my knee from that.

[GeraldGiraffe]

I have a pretty big scar on my left forearm near the elbow, probably about and inch long and half an inch across that was the result of drunkenly clearing up after a party. I'd filled a big bin bag with glass, and obviously some of it was broken. When I got it to the bin, I couldn't lift it high enough using one arm, so I used my left arm to support the bottom of the bag while I heaved it up to the lip of the bin. As soon as I let go of the bag to drop it into the bin I felt an excruciating pain in my left forearm and so of course, I ripped my arm back as fast as I could - which given that there was a shard of glass embedded in it wasn't the best idea.

Initially, the cut was very wide but not too deep and it didn't bleed too much - I think I went right through the top layer of skin and I could see a lot of weird looking white stuff which I'm assuming is some sort of second layer. It didn't bleed a lot, but it hurt for a long time. I should have had it stitched but didn't bother, which is why I now have a big scar from it.

Last year I went through a phase of riding my bicycle when too drunk to walk - this also resulted in some pretty nasty injuries, though mostly of the enormous bruise variety.

I have one from when I was younger too: when I was about 7 years old, I was riding my sister's bike, which had a vinyl seat. I got up to a pretty high speed, and promptly slipped off the seat backwards, but still holding on to the handlebars. I was dragged for a good 20 yards before I worked out that a decent idea would be to let go. I smacked my face on the road as well, and my last memory before momentarily passing out is seeing the bike continue on in a perfect straight line to the end of the road before smashing into a car.

I was a bit retarded with bikes when I was younger. The first time I ever rode one without stabilisers, I forgot that steering was an essential component of good bike riding, and ploughed into a wall.

The last one is an injury I inflicted on someone. I used to play Rugby, and when I was about 14 my team was playing in the quarter finals of the county cup. We're ahead, and the opposition winger is flying towards us. I come in to make a tackle from about a 45 degree angle, hit him square on, but I have so much momentum behind me that I drag him and myself towards the touchline and end up accidentally kicking a 60 year old man in the face with my studs up.

[Freakin]

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A few nights ago I woke up screaming in pain and started punching my wall. I had a charlie horse in my calf and it was easily the most painful one I've ever experienced. 2 Days later I'm still struggling to walk comfortably.

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kyleb bitches about this happening to him constantly in his sleep

[kevin017]

my girlfriend was swinging on a swing in her backyard, held up by a 4x4 nailed between two trees. A rope came out on her swing, she fell onto her upper back and broke her collar bone, and got knocked out for a minute. it still is a little bit pointy in the middle.

[PokerintheI]

When I was about 6-7 I was walking along on the pickets of a standard white picket fence that sat at the top of a 2' high retaining wall. I managed to slip and fall down the tallest side of the fence. The picket slid up the back of my shirt and coat, laid a 10" or so long gash into my back (along with a multitude of splinters).

To make matters worse, my coat didn't rip, so I ended up hanging there a foot or so off the ground for about 15 minutes until one of the neighbors walked past and got me down. I didn't end up needing stitches, I just got about 4 of those butterfly things, but I couldn't do much but lay on my stomach and sit on a stool for about a week..

Then, as a capstone to the entire event, when we got back home, I was grounded for 3 days as I had already received numerous warnings that I was not supposed to be climbing on the neighbor's fences. (One of those grumpy, 70 year old guy who hates everyone, neighbors)